Page 31 of Dauntless

CHAPTER NINE

“What’s on your mind?” Dane asked later that night. “And trust me. You can tell me anything.”

I sighed and rested my head on my arms. “The more I spend time with the two of you, the more uncomfortable I feel when we have sex…like I’m cheating.”

He removed the hair that was covering my face. “It’s different when we have sex with you alone at first. You’ll get used to it if you give it time.”

“I don’t know,” I murmured. “It just feels unfair. You both are only having sex with me.”

“Would you be open to Elliott and me with someone else?” he asked. “If you’d like to see how it goes, we can arrange it, so it won’t be behind your back or anything like that. We’d all agree.”

I turned over and looked at the ceiling. Open relationships meant open for everyone, not just me. I had known things could lead here, I just selfishly hadn’t wanted them to. “I don’t know. You and Elliott with someone else would feel like cheating since I don’t have the interest in watching and only just tried the ménage. I’ll more than likely end up jealous. Is this where everything is leading with the two of you? Group sex?”

Dane didn’t respond right away, and I tensed.

He finally said, “I don’t mind sharing with Elliott because you have an interest in ménage sex. I like to watch and that works for both of us.”

I turned to my side and propped up on my elbow. “But…”

“But, I also have some sexual interest that we don’t share,” he said. “Such as pain-that I’d like to indulge in. On those occasions, I’d want to see someone else.”

He wasn’t being unreasonable, though it didn’t make me any less uneasy. “Would this involve sex and a separate relationship?”

“Maybe,” Dane answered truthfully. “If it progressed to that point, we’d discuss it first. Sex to me doesn’t always mean intimacy. What we are building is more than friendship, and what I hope in time is more than sex. That’s the way it has worked best for me in the past.”

“Is that what you had with Angel?” I asked. “Sorry, Loren mentioned some things.”

He scoffed. “Loren used her and covered up. I had spent a lot of time trying to keep people like her away, but that’s not what you want to hear right now. I reckon what you want to know is how Angel and I made our open relationship work?”

“Yes,” I replied. “Was the open part of the relationship just sex or did you have more relationships with others?”

Dane drew in a breath and slowly released it. “Angel and I tried an open relationship. We had casual sex with other people and separate relationships with our own partners. Where I think our relationship failed was that we didn’t spend enough time on just us together. Angel had an addictive personality. She went to the extreme, keeping multiple partners and engaging in several orgies, and I was right there encouraging her to explore her sexuality. What I realize now was that it brought too much conflict into our relationship. And our relationship wasn’t strong enough to handle it. I feel guilty for how things went back then. That’s why I know now I’ll need to do things differently—we’ll discuss what we both want instead of just going with our desires.”

My brows knitted in uncertainty.

Dane kissed the frown creasing between my brows. “We don’t need to figure everything out right now. I want you to enjoy New York. What would you like to do? I’ve some ideas.”

“I don’t know,” I replied, reluctant with the change of subject. Then again Dane had a lot on his plate right now.

“This is an unexpected vacation,” I responded with a shrug. “I’m still working with Astrid and Perfetto even if I’m not there. Right now, I just want to stay inside. I feel a bit too exposed.”

“I know, but hiding away won’t change anything,” he said. “You stood up and faced it head-on. You should keep going.”

“Well, there is something I’ve been thinking of doing,” I said, touching my hair. “I want a fresh start. A change in my look.”

He smiled. “If that will make you feel less exposed then I’m all for it. I’ll check for a place you can go tomorrow. I’m going to give the hospital a call now to check on the status of the DNA test. It’ll make moving forward with Melinda easier. Jaclyn has already said she’s recommending unsupervised visits but needs the results to support it.”

“Can’t Angel just tell them to forget it?” I asked rising. Dane walked over to a cupboard and passed me a towel.

“No. It’s too late,” Dane answered agitated. “Once the issue of paternity has been raised, it needs to move forward. Excuse me.” He walked out the room, and I went into the shower and decidedly put aside my thoughts on open relationships. I had made a big choice to date them. Now I had to face the possibility of them with other women. Who? When? I had handled everything up until now. Maybe I could just follow Dane’s lead and see?

The shower door opened and Dane with the corners of his mouth turned down.

“What happened?” I asked.

“Some mix-up,” he said with a kind of annoyance I could understand. “They said we’ll need to do new samples. Fuck.” He cursed.

“And you will,” I encouraged. “You didn’t come this far to give up. Isn’t that what you just told me?”

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