Page 21 of Dark Master's Redemption

“You? You were once a Revenant?”

“Me,” he admits as he gives a sober nod, his pale blue eyes livid with hate, though it’s not for us. “My wife, Andromeda, was everything to me. The Gold Eyes killed her, because I wouldn’t be his puppet. It was his punishment when he found he could not control me. I went mad instantly, into my Revenant state. My children eventually brought me back, though I was a long time recovering, as will you be, Quinn. Don’t expect to be your former self ever again. You will not be. Learn to live with your wounds, and devouring self-hatred. Forgiveness will come in time. Though it must come from within, before it will soothe your torturous heart.”

With that, Master Ilyov lifts a hand, summoning his wintery winds and whisking himself away so we can digest everything he’s told us. As I’m left shivering, shaking between Ariana and Lucca, my Revenant’s blackness devouring me from everything that’s been said, I feel how my temperature drops and spikes simultaneously. In my livid exhaustion after coming back from my Revenant state, I feel like I have the deepest chill and the hottest fever, all at once. It’s a terrible sensation, as I roll my shoulders and twist my neck.

And feel my heart pound—with darkness at everything we’re facing, rather than ardor for my lovers.

“You’re exhausted, Quinn.” Lucca sets his hand on my chest, feeling my rapid heartbeat. To anyone else, my quick, jolting beats would feel just like a normal heart rate. For me, they’re too fast, too frantic. I try to get control of my dark rage and inner hatred from my Revenant state and find I can’t, with everything Ilyov’s just told us.

“Come on. Lay back down with us. You should rest.” Ariana tugs at my hand, urging me back down to the bed. She and Lucca are already halfway down, but I find I can’t join them.

Sitting rigid, as I shiver and shake.

“Quinn. What’s going on?” Lucca pushes back up. Scooting close to my back, he extends his legs on either side of me now. Wrapping me in his perfectly muscled arms, he presses to my back. His body warms me, Lucca’s decadent Cuorante Dark Fae heat soothing my terrible spikes and dips in temperature.

As Ariana cuddles to my side, facing us as she sits on one hip, Lucca moves his leg and she tucks in close. Wrapping an arm around my waist, she holds me with Lucca, her balanced light and heat pouring into me like soothing waterfalls as she lifts up and we kiss.

My heart is not in that kiss, though, as something inside me still shrieks, devoured by self-hate. I shudder again, unable to be soothed by my bound lovers after everything Ilyov’s said.

An unholy void raging deep inside me—calling me back towards my Revenant state.

Lucca shifts now, raising his wrist to his mouth. I hear him bite and smell blood; everything inside me perks with a sudden, pounding need as he holds that wrist to my lips, punctured by his Fae-bite.

“Here, Quinn. Drink. It’ll help,” he says matter-of-factly, though I feel through our bond how worried he is by my inability to join them in revelry of any kind right now. Even though I’ve come back, I’m still lost in the temptation to dive back into my inner self-hatred, which drives my Revenant state.

And give up everything that has ever mattered to me.

“I’m not hungry.” Even as those bitter words leave my lips, however, I know I’m ravenous. Lucca’s blood just smells too good as he wafts his wrist before my mouth and nose now, letting me inhale his sweet perfume.

“You’re starving, Valerio. I feel it.” Lucca places his cheek against mine now, his strong body cuddled close. “Drink. Then you can be stubborn about your inner self-hate…and we can work on it, together.”

“You need to revel in something, Quinn, to regain your Light.” Ariana is gentle as her warm hand strokes my chest. “Lucca and I understand if you can’t be with us right now, after everything you’ve gone through, and everything Ilyov told us. But we will not let you stay where you are. Please, drink. When you’re finished with Lucca’s blood, you can have mine. We’re not going anywhere. And if you refuse us, we’ll just bite open another vein and let you smell it over and over, until you can’t stop yourself from drinking.”

“Don’t punish yourself any longer, not like you did in your Revenant state.” Lucca nuzzles my cheek. “You came back from that dark place for a reason, Valerio… please don’t fade away again and let that reason go. Be with us. Later, we’ll sort everything out.”

As Lucca says these last words, I finally sigh. Though I’m still tempted to dive back into my inner self-hate and stay there, punishing myself for eons because of what I did with the Music—not to mention everything else heinous I’ve done in my life—the smell of Lucca’s blood finally wins. I give out; setting my lips to his wrist, I give a small lick.

And then a deep Bloodlust grips me—and I drink, hard.

I crush Lucca’s wrist to my lips as I gulp him down, ravenously. I’m making growling, demonic sounds I haven’t made in eons, not since I was first turned Dark Fae and felt the Bloodlust come upon me in my youth. I’m biting him now; my fangs have shot out and Lucca grunts as I hurt him, deepening the wounds in his flesh.

His grunt stops me, though, knowing I’ve given him pain. With a snort of disgust and shame, I cease feeding and push him away.

Laying down on the bed and curling up in a ball, hauling the covers up over my nakedness.

“Quinn?” Ariana’s hand strokes my shoulder through the thick duvet.

“Enough. I’m not hungry,” I hear myself say, with one of the most caustic tones I think I’ve ever summoned. I feel more than see Ariana and Lucca glance at each other, at the harshness in my voice.

Lucca strokes my back now, through the duvet.

“You need to eat, Valerio. You’re ravenous,” he says, but I only feel more shame at the tenderness in his voice after I hurt him like that, like a demon.

Like a mad Revenant.

“Go away.” I set my teeth against the scent of his blood, held temptingly before my mouth and nose. I shut my eyes tight, wishing for them both to just go away and leave me to my pain. But of course, they don’t.

Because they love me—no matter how much of a devil I am.

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