Page 95 of Four Times Forever

I wanted to marry my men. I didn't want to wait a second longer. But what if my mother was right? Not about them being dangerous. About me being stupid. She was batshit crazy, but she might see something in me that I'd allowed myself to become blind to seeing. I was unloveable. Being loved by four men was impossible. Being desired by them? Sure. But loved and married? This was a clown's parade. What did they have to lose? Matt and Ethan were rich. If this marriage didn't work out, they'd be fine. I wouldn't be. I was deluding myself. Still, they hadn't made me sign a pre-nup, so they must be in this for the long haul as well.

Damn it to hell, my mother's voice would forever live on inside my head. Looking up at the ceiling, I took a heavy-laden breath. I reached for my phone, intending to call her, but fuck, I just knew I was going to see something I didn't want to see.

Alas, I was right. Another one of those fucking messages. That had to be my mother. Fuck it. I wouldn't give her the benefit of driving me crazy. I wouldn't feed her by calling her. Instead, I tried Ann-Marie. Once again, the number went to voicemail. I ran through everything we'd said to each other. I hadn't done anything to upset her. Why would she—Wait, the last time we spoke, she had to leave. This number was the new one she called me from. I hadn't been able to reach her on it since.

Oh shit, was she on the run? From whom? She had been with her husband, but our conversation was so final. If he had done anything to hurt her... Or if her exes from her past had found her. There I was with my selfish ass, thinking she wasn't here because she had turned against me for no reason, when she could have been in trouble. My old phone had gotten smashed in the kidnapping, but there was a way to recover old numbers. I didn't know if that would help, but it was a damn good place to start. I was hoping that she would answer that number at least and I would find out that I was overreacting. Then I could give her a good tongue-lashing for cutting off all contact. Oh, please. Let Ann-Marie be okay.

Chapter 59

Lily

Okay, all it took was a quick web search to find out that my contacts were backed up to my previous email account. As soon as I logged in, the contacts were imported like magic. Relief turned to dread when a blast from the past froze me to the spot. Knowing whether or not Ann-Marie was safe was paramount. But the body held onto triggers like a motherfucker. So when I saw Marco's name, I couldn't breathe. I shouldn't have, but I couldn't help myself. I had to know what he wanted after all this time. What he was planning.

He had a fucking nerve.

I pressed play on the voice note and pressed my lips together, teeth digging into skin.

'Hey, Lily. Long time no speak. I don't have to ask how you're doing. I can see you're doing well.'

My blood ran cold. Where did he get off trying to be nice? After everything he'd done. Fuck him. I would have known how to prepare myself for him yelling profanities at me and calling me a whore, threatening my safety. I would have shut the phone off. This? My head was swimming in a separate pool away from my body. I stood staring at the phone. He took a deep breath.

'Especially after the whole kidnapping thing. Shit, Lily. I saw it on the news. I'm glad you're alive.'

Okay, my blood was boiling now. What was the purpose of this? This was pathetic. He was pathetic...

'About that. Funny story.'

My brows crinkled and the overwhelming urge to shut the phone off left. Funny story? About my kidnapping? Now I was itching to call him and give him a piece of my mind.

'I knew about the kidnapping before I heard about it on the news.'

My heartbeat became arrhythmic. What the fuck? What did he mean by...

'I found out about it when your men accosted me, actually. They thought I was the one who kidnapped you. They roughed me up pretty bad. Them and this other dude. Super crazy man. I thought they were going to kill me.'

Okay, he just flung a dagger straight at my heart and I wanted to take it out and throw it right back at him. Was he fucking serious right now? Five years he'd had the common sense to leave me alone, to rejoice in the idea that I was miserable. Convince himself that it was because I wasn't with him. Bide his time to make good on his threat to hunt me down and find me. And once he saw that I was living my life, that I was happy after all, he came up with this shit.

He was the fucker that had been harassing me online. To think that I'd been spending all this time letting his words get to me, letting him have any say whatsoever over my emotions. If my mother hadn't been with me twenty-four seven over the last 5 plus years, I would have thought that he'd been the one feeding her that bullshit.

What was I going to do? Believe the two people who had made it their duty to hurt me time and time again over the men who had done nothing but love me. Yes, Ryan had hurt me, but compared to what I'd been through, it had been nothing. Besides, I wasn't on my own in this world anymore. I knew that if he ever did anything that would put me at risk again, I had three more men who would act as my bodyguards. Protect me from anything.

Yeah, but what lengths would they be willing to go to, to protect you?

A yell built from the gutter deep inside me and blew out the top of my head as I tossed the phone across the room. This poor phone had taken quite the beating since I'd gotten it. But, fuck Marco for worming his way back into my consciousness. Fuck him for not letting me be and move on with my life. And fuck my mother's voice in my head collaborating with his. I was getting married tomorrow and no one was going to ruin this. I'd been through enough shit. I deserved to be fucking happy, damn it.

Tears streaming down my face, I stormed out of the room and tried to refocus my efforts on finding out what had happened to Ann-Marie. Marco and my mother's sick twisted games be fucked.

On the hunt for Ryan, my stomach churned with the doubt I already had about marrying him, coupled with the news I had just received. Not going to give it any fucking merit. Not going to give it any fucking leg to stand on.' I repeated inside my head. Ryan was the one with Tyler's contact. That's what I was focusing on. Give me a fucking break, thoughts.

Chapter 60

Lily

"Ryan!" I swung the door open and it wasn't Ryan, it was Matt, standing in front of the mirror in his wedding suit.

His eyes met mine in the reflection as he was buttoning his cuff and my goodness, what a heartthrob. The sun was blasting into the room, shining off his eyes, making the blue in them shimmer like crystals against his pale blue suit. His short brown hair was messy and he had a bit of a shadow of a beard going on contrary to his usual shaven face. I had forgotten what I'd opened the door for.

"Wow." My mouth went dry and I licked my lips.

---