"What do you mean?" Ethan asked.
Don't look so worried. I thought to myself. What did he think I did? Go through each and every comment and tell them off or something? I wasn't crazy.
Placing the phone in the center of the table, I waited for their eyes to light up, their cheeks to flush and for them to reach across the table, competing for my lips, grabbing me in places they shouldn't with public eyes upon us, while they read the caption on top of a photo of them sleeping. 'Am I not the luckiest woman in the world? Soon to be Mrs.' The caption was accompanied by a link to my vlog. At least Ryan smiled when Ethan scrolled and he saw a picture of himself on the couch, sleeping.
Matt clicked the link. I was watching all their reactions, so I noticed the gulp.
"Is there a problem?" I asked, unable to keep my thoughts to myself any longer. "I thought you guys would be happier."
"We are happy." Eric smiled, but I wasn't an idiot. It didn't reach his eyes.
My belly started rolling over, a sickness rumbling in its guts. "Are you guys..."
Ethan tsked. "Are we what? Aw, Lily. Don't look so disappointed. We love it. Genuinely."
Swallowing the bile in the back of my throat, I asked a nonsensical question that went against all their public displays of affection. "Are you guys ashamed of me?"
I couldn't help but wonder if they were okay with showing me off around their family and in Paris where no one knew us, but my thoughts were taking me all over the place. Was that why we'd never leave the new house? Was that why they bought such a huge house on a private island so no one else would have to know? Was showing our love to their audience a step too far? An internal gasp. Was a polyamorous relationship bad for marketing? Was that why they hadn't posted since we'd dated?
All the questions must have been bulging out of my brain and tattooing across my forehead as they sought an exit through my skin, because Ryan reached out and gripped my shoulder. "Lily? Are you okay?"
"Lily. We're sorry. It's just a bit of a shock, that's all. Of course we're proud to show you off." Eric always had that ability to somehow read my thoughts.
Their reaction didn't make sense, though. It shouldn't come as that much of a surprise. Unless they were worried about my vlogging abilities. Don't be stupid. Wow, I loved my internal voice. Such a loving and gentle critic. Okay, I was overreacting. As soon as my body was allowing me to relax, like whiplash, a thought cracked me on the back of the head. They're hiding something.
No, no. Not this again. Nothing was going to ruin this happiness we'd rediscovered with each other.
Matt
"It's going to be okay," I assured them.
"Yeah. Tyler said we have nothing to worry about. So, who cares if our faces are out there?" Eric smoothed his hand over his low messy bun.
"It's just going to take some getting used to. It's not so long ago that we were on the run, trying to stay hidden. We don't have to hide anymore. Right?" Ethan looked between Ryan and Eric, since they were the ones who spoke to Tyler and were convinced we were in the clear.
"Right," Eric nodded.
Ryan didn't.
"Right?" Ethan asked Ryan again.
He cleared his throat. "Mm-hm. Yeah."
"Never mind Ryan," Eric said. "He has a bad feeling about everything." Sensing the selfishness of his own words, he dialed it back. "It's gonna be okay, alright?" He made eye contact with Ryan before giving him a pat on the shoulder. "As Ethan said, it's just going to take some time getting used to being free again. What's the worst that could happen? The only people who know what we did are the four of us, Tyler and apparently the people he sorted it out with. It's just a couple pictures and a vlog with our woman showing us off on her social media. I mean, we're living our lives again. That was bound to be a part of it soon enough, yeah? It's okay."
"Yeah." I nodded and rubbed Ryan's arm. He took a deep breath and nodded along with us.
"Now, let's go inside our hotel room and thank our woman properly for her gift, instead of pretending as if it's going to be the end of us. Well, all three of us." He lifted his brows at Ryan. "Unless Matt wants to keep your company?"
"No. I'll be alright. Tell her I love her. And uh...I'm sorry, I guess." Ryan cleared his throat.
His eyes went blank.
"I mean, you can tell her that." I pulled on his bicep and tugged him forward.
Lily was in the king-sized bed with the deep red blinds pulled. She was polishing her nails. When she looked up at us, she spotted Ryan.
Her throat caved in. "Are you also staying with us?"