Page 62 of Four Times Forever

"Yes, please. Don't ruin it," I said, before I could stop myself. I didn't mean to imply that he'd be ruining something else yet again, but just before his lips met mine, I knew that was the way he interpreted it. He kissed me with all the hurt and pent-up need that he'd been holding back. I couldn't tell who was crying, if it was me or him, as our salty tears impassioned our kiss. I moaned into him, gripping his shirt and pulling him even closer still.

I didn't know how long we'd been kissing, but he pulled away first, and I was dizzy as I looked up at him.

"I'll do whatever I can to fix this. Fix us," he promised, with his forehead against mine.

I hoped there was a world in which that was possible, but I feared it might not be, not because I couldn't forgive him, but because I didn't know if I'd ever stop fearing what he was capable of. Stepping back out of the momentary trance, I smiled before raising the camera and snapping a picture of him.

He creased his brow. "What are you doing?"

"Capturing a beautiful moment in Paris." I smiled. "You should pick up your camera. It would be a shame if we never got to see your art again."

With that, I started walking away to catch up with the rest of the guys when I heard a wail behind me. Shocked, I spun around to find Ryan staring at his phone.

"Ryan?" I gasped.

When he saw me rushing back over, he tucked it back into his pocket before gripping his chest and struggling to breathe.

"Guys! I think something is wrong!" I called after them.

Chapter 47

Ryan

"What's going on?" Lily asked Ethan standing off to the side.

Her questions made the tightening of my chest worse because I couldn't tell her.

"Please," I begged.

Matt gulped before jumping up from the spot on the ground I'd sunken into. He whipped out his credit card and handed it to her. "Why don't you give us a moment?"

I prayed she wouldn't resist, because I didn't know if I'd be able to survive this. Falling over on my back from the pain, I tried rocking myself to see if it would help. It didn't. A soft, "Okay" from Lily helped to ease it a tiny bit, but not much at all.

All of our phones went off together again. "What the fuck does Tyler want?" Eric swore when Lily was out of earshot.

"Where are your meds, do you have them?" Matt patted my pockets, breathing a sigh of relief when he found them. I was such a fucking waste of space lying here, being a burden once again. I was trying my best. "I'll get you some water."

Eric looked at me and back at his still ringing phone. He had a moment where my best friend shone through, or maybe I was just imagining that his worrying included me at all. As he walked away, I watched as he put his phone to his ear.

Ethan stepped toward me and crouched. With a sigh, he started coaching me through my breathing. I wanted to scream at them that it wasn't helping, but at the same time, they were being my friends. It was an internal battle that didn't do well for the whole anxiety thing, I'm telling you.

"What's he saying?" I came up on my ass to ask Ethan, still gripping my chest as my mind tried to convince me that I was dying.

"Don't worry about that. Just focus on your breathing," Ethan stroked my back.

I tried not to push him away.

Thank fuck, Matt came rushing back with the water and I swallowed the pills like a lifeline, giving myself a few minutes for it to kick in before reaching for my phone and checking my messages to see if Tyler left any for me. "What's he saying?" I repeated as I marched over to Eric who spun around to look at me, pale. His jaw slackened.

"Well, what is it?" Matt demanded.

"They've found us, haven't they? I thought booking the Airbnb with a fake name wouldn't allow them to track us, but they're the mob, of course they fucking have. We're gonna have to go, aren't we? Matt, get your jet ready..." Ethan blubbered on.

"Will you shut the fuck up?" Matt hissed, taking the words straight out of my mouth before I could say them and land myself on the wrong side of them again.

"It's Tyler." Eric raised the phone.

"Yeah, we fucking got that," Matt grunted.

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