Page 58 of Four Times Forever

Matt grinned.

Eric took my hand and kissed me on the knuckles. "Well, of course the wedding's still going to happen. But don't you want to see the world first before you're tied down to us? I'm thinking Paris can be our first stop."

The opposite of what I'd expect of my body started happening. Instead of jumping for joy and throwing my arms around his neck, my legs got weak and my stomach got queasy. The light grew too bright for my eyes, and I was caught before I realized I was stumbling.

"You okay?" Ethan rushed down toward me and took my face in his strong hands.

"Yeah." I gulped. "This is just all so fast." I admitted. "I wish you guys would've discussed it with me first."

"It wouldn't have been much of a surprise then, would it?" Matt soothed my back.

Ryan stroked his hand down the length of my arm. It had been such a while since I'd been touched by him that my body had an immediate implosion of current. I had no choice but to turn toward him like a magnet. It sickened me a little bit that my resolve was so easily penetrated by him. But it thrilled me even more that the chance for something between us hadn't died out.

It was a matter of whether or not people could change for the better. I'd seen him change for the worse.

I wanted to believe in him so badly when he took my hand and the heat of him burned through me. "We just want to share our greatest pleasure with you."

I gulped. It was a deep one. Like I'd swallowed more than just my breath. My heart was playing beats like a drum show, and I was convinced I was going to collapse without his kiss.

Lucky for me, I was pulled away from the trance of the forbidden by Eric spinning me toward him. "On our first date, I dreamed of this day. The day I'd get to travel the world with you."

"It's something we all live for. We'd love it if you could at least consider it for us." Ethan crooked his fingers, calling me further up the stairs with a nod toward the jet.

My belly flipped. "Well, how can I say no to that?" I regarded each of them, my willpower weakening when my gaze landed on Ryan.

Paris could be our chance to forget what happened between us and start over.

Eric grinned, picked me up and threw me over his shoulder, running the rest of the way with me. Inside the jet, it was decorated with rose petals, champagne chilling in a bucket next to the professionally made bed. My blood heated instantaneously and my body begged to be touched. I reached for the first person with my eyes closed. As soon as my lips touched his, I knew who it was and I jumped back. He let me go despite the tight grip he had on my waist as he crushed me to his body.

Ryan.

We shouldn't do this. It's bad. I still didn't know if I could trust him. But damn it, my body wanted him. My brain was shouting at me to compartmentalize him the way I'd done with so many other men since Marco, but I never loved any of those men. And so as I reached for him, I couldn't bring myself to touch him. I watched the self-shame in his eyes as he pulled away. I had no time to feel guilty with Matt's sharp beard on my neck, Ethan moving in to take Ryan's place and Eric reaching in between us to cup my breasts.

Fuck, I was wet.

Ryan

Being discarded by the people you love was not fun. Even Matt had had it with me. So I made up my mind on the way here to pretend with all my might during this trip. I would force a smile and fight the memories. I made up my mind to be miserable during this trip if it meant not losing everyone and proving myself. It wasn't as if I was sacrificing anything to be miserable, since misery seemed to be all that I was capable of these days.

I had also assumed that all was lost between Lily and me. There was no way I could have seen her forgiving me for becoming a reflection of all the trauma in her life, for almost hurting her the same way the monsters in her life did. Hurting her even worse. In all honesty, I couldn't forgive myself. I refused to, even if she found it in her to excuse my actions. But the Lily I met was headstrong, and so I knew that if she decided that I was cut off, then I was. And I'd have to live with that, because it was what I deserved.

However, when I touched her for the first time in forever and felt her respond to me, as if there was a shared fire burning through us and the only way to ease it was to let ourselves be consumed by it, and then she kissed me, fuck if I'd ever been so turned on. It became a turning point, a reward for my effort to pretend. To do more than that. To change for the better.

When she stopped kissing me, I was reminded of what I had lost.

"Ryan?" She panted, and my cock responded as if she was speaking directly to it. I got way too excited.

"What about him?" Ethan glanced at me over her shoulder, wickedness playing in his eyes.

"Shouldn't we stop? You know, respect him." She tried to whisper, but it echoed on a moan.

"Do you want to stop?" Matt spoke loud enough for my benefit. Eric pulled her face toward him, and I watched them taste each other's lips and sigh from the sweetness of it, the sweetness I just had and desperately needed again.

Lily sighed and bit her lip. "No," she confessed.

"Well, let him see what he's missing." Ethan ran his hands up underneath her dress.

Her panting grew more aggressive, and I knew the moment he touched her deeper on that gasp that escaped. I was furious at them and also anxious to take my due punishment. My cock ached beneath my pants, and I squeezed it to get some relief.

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