Page 4 of Four Times Forever

Okay. I was sounding paranoid now. But where was the Ryan I fell in love with? How could he keep going?

"No," Ryan growled.

He must have been responding to the voices in his head because I knew for damn sure, he wasn't responding to anything we'd said. His shoulders and chest heaved, and he stabbed a finger toward my mother.

"You need to know what kind of a man your precious husband was. I'm not walking on any fucking eggshells around you anymore. Your 'husband'..." He put in air quotes. "...was a little weasel. Do you know that he topped all the bullshit he's ever done to his wife and daughter? The man went out with a bang. Terry Thornbread kidnapped your daughter."

No, no, no. Not this. Don't tell her this. Don't overwhelm her.

My mother shook her head.

Ryan nodded. "Yes. Yes! He did. He kidnapped her. Want to know how he did it?"

My heart was performing open-heart surgery from the inside out with its own little scalpel at this point. I grabbed my chest and looked around at my men at my side.

"Should I call the police?" the nurse asked.

The police? I..uh...

Before I could even make up my mind on whether or not I'd get the police involved, Matt, Ethan, and Ryan fell over themselves to speak first. "No! No. That's not necessary."

They grew tense.

"He bashed her over the head..." Ryan's voice was thick with emotion.

The back of my head where I got hit throbbed, and I reached around and grabbed it with a trembling hand as the memories of my kidnapping came flooding back.

"Lils, you okay?" Eric covered my hand with his, but I fucking lost it.

"Stop! Stop! Can somebody please, get him the fuck out of here!" My throat started to close as Ryan, still deafened to my plea, kept going.

"It took her almost dying for him to take her to the hospital, probably because a dead Lily wouldn't get him what he wanted." Ryan gasped and went silent for a moment.

I was relieved for a few seconds. Until he started again.

I glanced toward the fancy marble vase sitting on the sparkling glass center table that Ethan told me I could get even though it was over a thousand dollars, and I pressed my lips together, fighting the temptation to fucking smash Ryan over the head with it. I couldn't remember the last time I'd been this angry.

Balling my fist, I bit down on my rage, the way I taught myself to do whenever Terry pissed me off. Because the last thing I wanted to be was anything like him. But I could feel him now, egging me on, revving me up. Ryan's shouting triggered more than just the memories of my kidnapping. His crass comments, the cruelty with which he used his words, brought me back to the moments I wanted to punch Terry straight in the mouth.

"Get him out of the room. Please. Somebody, get him out." Each word advanced in volume. Two worlds were happening around me. The reality inside my head and the one outside of it, where Ryan was being grabbed by three men and being pulled from the room.

Chapter 4

Ryan

Acertain numbness had overcome me. I wasn't aware that I'd left the room until now. Strong hands bore into my arm, a curled bicep was wrapped around my neck. It wasn't tight enough to choke me, but enough to cut through the distortion of voices and rein me back to the present, though I stumbled a bit at the threshold. After resolving that someone wasn't trying to haul me off to my death, but it was my thickheaded best friends, instead, trying to shut me up, I pushed back and fought myself out of their hold before getting ready to square up.

"Ryan, stop it. Let's go." Matt warned me with a look.

Whatever, I could take him. But he looked away from me and I followed his gaze to Lily's stormy eyes. Disgust, anger, hurt, it was all there in the hardened gaze she challenged me with, the tears falling down her cheek, the slight vibration of her body, the redness of her skin and the flare of her nostrils.

Oh, no. I had fucked up.

Sickness wrapped me up in its creepy little fingers and shame sucker punched me as I deserved. My fists dropped like lead by my side and I regretted every last drop of alcohol that was poisoning my blood and brain. Stupid brain! Stupid mouth! Stupid, stupid, stupid!

With the haze cleared from my eyes, I looked from Mrs. Thornbread to Lily who stood as a guard between me and the fragile woman I was only capable of seeing as a wraith from hell. What had I done? My tongue was heavy in my mouth, but I forced myself to speak because it had to be said.

"Mrs. Thornbread..." I gasped. "I'm..." I gestured before reaching Lily in two long steps. "I'm so sorry." I reached for her. "I don't know what I was..."

---