Page 28 of Four Times Forever

She creased her brows before looking away from me.

"It's not a bad idea. Traveling is kind of our thing. It could snap him out of this morbid loop he's been stuck in for the past few weeks and remind him of the things in life that we love to do. We also know a few great places in Florida I can't wait to show you. All of us, Ryan included, have made some good memories in our many visits to the sunshine state," Ethan nudged her.

"You want me to gloss over everything and put tonight behind me as if nothing happened?" Lily's brows pulled down into a v shape. "Why are you all so keen on taking me to Florida?" She crossed her arms, stuck out her hip and narrowed her eyes at us.

Ethan and I looked at each other. What was that supposed to mean? Before either of us could answer, she stepped back in her room and placed her hand on the door.

"Lily, what are you doing?" I groaned.

"Going to bed," she asserted.

Ethan stuttered. "Wha-what?"

Lily hadn't slept in her room alone since we moved in. None of us had ever slept in our own rooms at night. We always seemed to find our way into the custom made bed in our shared bedroom.

"Are you sure?" I asked.

"Good night, guys." She closed the door in our faces. From outside, the lock clicked.

Chapter 21

Matt

It was going to be a long night. Ryan and I had spent the last couple of hours talking, but the alcohol knocked him out, and I was sitting there in the silence again. It's safe to say that I was beginning to hate the silence. It's overrated. It kind of sucked that there was no alcohol in the house. I could have used a drink or two.

I was stuck in the bedroom of this guest house, keeping watch over him like a hawk. If he went to take a piss, there I was behind him like a duckling. I couldn't risk leaving him alone, and the noise in my head wasn't helping the mounting pressure. First thing tomorrow morning, we were going to have to get his ass to that therapist. Wait, did we have the therapist's number? Name? I didn't know who Lily had made the connection with, so I guess not. I couldn't do this another night, even though keeping my eyes open tonight was pretty damn easy since I had added even more things to my guilt list. The air became mocking and grew googly eyes that leered at me.

Reaching for my phone in an effort to chase them away, I allowed myself to be drawn into mindless scrolling and the numbing short-form videos that I clutched to with bleeding fingertips and ripping knuckles. But they did nothing to stop the sneak attack of the googly-eyed fiends who had managed to enter my body and climb around on hands and feet to feast on my heart and rob me of my breath.

In an effort to save myself, I switched on my selfie camera. Was that bile or blood in the back of my throat? My chest was on fire, as if my blood had turned to lava or acid, eating away my insides and rushing to my head, to find an escape out my mouth, my ears, my nose, my eyes, anywhere. Or drown me. It was so hot and consuming, pounding my ear drums, I forgot Ryan was even there. I couldn't think about whether or not I might wake him up. I needed to get these demons out of me.

And so I pressed record.

"Hello, friend." I gripped my chest and swallowed to clear my airway. It became clear that I'd have no trouble staying silent since my voice scraped across my vocal cords in a whisper. Speaking any louder was painful. The heat began to seep out of my pores, and I swiped my hand across my forehead, relieved to find in the light of the lamp that it was sweat, not blood.

"So, yeah. It's me again. Kind of feels like I'm dying here. Wouldn't be surprised. This is what I get, huh? You're going to think I'm crazy, but I think I saw some evil spirits in this room. Or is that just my conscience? Or Terry and his friend, haunting me. Laughing at me. Or the demons that led us to kill them are back to snicker over our sorry asses who were stupid enough to fall for their tricks. I wonder if Tyler sees them too. He might be friends with them because he's always so fucking smug.

You know what's made all of this ten times worse? The lying to Lily. But, oh, that's not the only other thing I have to feel guilty about. Ryan almost hurt her today. It was an accident, but still, you should have seen him. It was like he was possessed. All of me is torn between him and her. I feel like an ass for being here with him when I should be there with her. But I'd feel like an ass if I wasn't here with him, because he needs someone.

We've all done something horrible, and as I fight my demons, I can't stand by and watch him lose the fight with his. I believe in his goodness, because if I don't, I can't believe in mine. I have to believe that there's a way we can all redeem ourselves and that we're not destined to the flames of hell for eternity."

Hope, as dangerous as it was, began to clear away some of the heat, and I found a steady pace of breath again.

Ethan

"I wasn't expecting Lily to sleep on her own tonight," I said to Eric as we fell back onto the couch in the living room.

"Feels wrong going to sleep now, without her in our bed." He rubbed his belly and yawned.

"Yeah, it's weird. I've grown accustomed to her always being there." I let out a breath. "But tonight was heavy, I guess she needs space. The nightmares though. You think she's going to be okay?"

Eric shrugged and took a deep breath. "I guess if she didn't think she would be, she wouldn't have chosen to..." He turned to face me, brows creased and lips tight. "You don't think she's scared of us too, do you? I get why she's scared of Ryan, but did you see the way she reacted to my touch?"

"Yeah, I thought that was odd," I frowned.

He sat up, elbows on knees and his legs started shaking. He covered his face with his hands and gave his face an aggressive swipe. "Why would she be scared of me? What have I done?"

"Nah," I reassured him. "I don't think she's scared. I think she might have been hypersensitive."

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