Page 23 of Four Times Taken

His brown hair was out in blond-streaked waves against his toned shoulders as he braced himself over the counter. "I keep thinking I should go see her, you know? Help her understand? I don't want to just give up." He groaned. "I don't even know if she still lives at the same place." He shook his head.

Should I fess up and tell him that I know where she lives? That I saw her today? Would that be betraying her trust?

"I don't know, man. She seemed pretty adamant yesterday about how she felt. You can't just stalk her into forgiving you," I said, my stomach burning because the worry of betraying her trust wasn't the only reason I didn't want him to show up at her house and get her to forgive him. Damn, I should've met her first, but if I were in his shoes, the last thing I'd want is for my best friend to want her too.

Smoke rose from the frying pan, diverting his attention. He swore, shutting the stove off before turning back to me with a drawn sigh. "You're right. I need to respect her wishes."

Dewy, red eyes and drawn cheeks let me in on his inner turmoil. I should tell him, but I didn't. Because it'll suit me if he lets her go. Why, though? I know I'm an asshole for even thinking this way at all, but they're just thoughts. I'm not a big-enough asshole to act on them. Although, I'm acting on them by not saying anything.

"Oh, hey, guys. Where's Matt?" Ethan walked out of the bathroom, saving me from the sheet of invasive guilt, pressing against my skin and shrinking the room.

I took the opportunity to pull myself away toward the couch, where I sank down and turned on the TV for distraction.

"He's out exploring and getting some vlogging content," Eric said from the kitchen.

"Thought he'd be joining us at the beach?" Ethan looked between me and Eric.

"Yeah, I changed my mind," Eric mumbles around a sip of OJ.

Ethan cleared his throat, no doubt reflecting on yesterday as well. Except he's still on the 'avoid Lily train.' I saw the real her today. It was pretty hard to stay away from her after that.

"Oh, all right. I wanted to see if he'd join me on this thing. I know we said we'd be leaving the day after tomorrow, but you don't mind if we stay an extra day, do you?" Ethan asked, choosing a careful approach.

I suppressed my groan. The best thing we could do was get the heck out of Durham so Eric could move past this Lily thing. And before I let lust get in the way of our friendship. If I'm on the other side of the world, I can't act on a fleeting feeling that could end up hurting one of the people I value the most.

"Why? What's up?" Eric asked, his tone low and deep inside his body.

Man. I'm an awful person. My eyes were focused on the television, but I didn't know what I'm watching. All I could think of was either Lily or leaving.

"So, I wanted to see if Matt was interested in some charity. You know wherever I go, I try to donate to a rehab facility? I stopped by the local Women's Shelter with a check this morning, and they insisted on throwing a banquet. I tried to get out of it, but they were insistent, so I thought I'd check in with you. I figure you must be itching to leave this place," Ethan said.

Eric took a breath. "Look, guys. You don't have to walk on eggshells around me. If you want to go to the banquet, go to the banquet." He jutted the glass of orange juice in the air as he walked past Ethan and dropped down next to me on the couch.

"Lily made her choice, and I'm a grown man. I can deal with rejection. I'm not just going to fall apart if we stay in Durham an extra day or two. It's not like she and I are going to bump into each other again." He gave a wry laugh. "Lightning doesn't strike the same place twice, and fate wouldn't be so cruel." Stuffing his face with food, he stared ahead at the television screen. "Besides, there's even less chance of that happening if I don't leave the house," he mumbled to himself.

He's not wrong. It sounded like the best solution for both of us. Locked away here with Eric for a couple of days meant avoiding the force that was Lily and keeping our lives as they were, which had been pretty good so far. Why ruin a good thing?

Chapter 17

Lily

In a glittery black dress that was on sale for thirty dollars, I hurried through the doors of the Women's Shelter toward the reception hall that's been filled with round dining tables and chairs. I hadn't had much need for formal wear, but I'd been on a roll that week. I hoped the sparkles weren't too much. Not a flashy type of girl. Trying not to think about the conditions this garment was produced in, I pulled out my speech on the way to my seat.

This event had sprung up out of nowhere, and I'd been invited to speak and introduce the kind person who decided to share some of their wealth with our local shelter. 'Just call me Ethan' was the name he went by. According to the secretary who passed the message on to me, he didn't want the notoriety. It's admirable that someone of that wealth and status would do something like this without being a reputation whore. Unless he's involved in something dodgy and that's why he's trying to stay out of the limelight. Here I go, turning the positive into a negative.

Either way, the shelter could use the money. Government funds go so far, but it's hard to take care of the women they house and care for. With so many abused people, the shelter was seeing more than a handful of victims coming in every day, whom they sometimes had to turn away with a heavy heart since we all know how much courage it must have taken for them to seek help in the first place. This money would help a lot with expansion, clothing, food, bare necessities, cleaning, renovations, and upgrades. It would do a lot of good for a lot of women. I couldn't say I'm not grateful.

Biases aside, I made my way to my table. My name was called before my ass even hit the seat. I had barely made it there in time. Again, the shelter had chipped in to get a sitter for my mother for the next few hours so that I could be there. My heels rocked as I made my way up the tiny wooden steps onto the stage, and I shifted the skin-tight dress that kept riding up above my knees. It's fine, but I'm not a 'public speaker' type of person. However, for a cause so close to my heart, I'm more than willing to lend my voice.

"Good evening, everyone." The mic echoed back my words through the large black speakers next to the stage.

The light shining in my face blinded me; I couldn't see beyond the mic. My palms sweated. Whenever my mom's not having one of her episodes, I volunteer at the shelter, but I'm more comfortable behind the scenes or speaking to the women one on one.

However, they thought it would be important for me to share my story today, along with many other brave women, to help the donor see where his investment was going.

"I want to thank you guys for coming to this beautiful event. It's not often we see nights like this at this shelter." I smiled and cleared my throat. "I've been invited tonight to share my story. A story many of you already know. For those of you who don't, if you've ever felt like you were living in the belly of a shark or swaddled in barbed wire, you can relate. Unable to breathe without bleeding. Sinking lower and lower into a constricted and lashing darkness, unsure if you'll make it out alive or whether you want to. Each mode of escape is more daunting than the other, and it'd be easier to close your eyes and stop it altogether. If you can relate, you know my story before I've begun. If you can't, I'm happy for you.

"I'm Lily Thornbread, and I'm a survivor of domestic violence. I also care for a victim of DV. My mother, Mrs. Ella Thornbread. They say a stable home is made up of a mother and father. I guess you could say, on the surface, I had that. But my home life was far from stable or safe. My father was, for lack of a better word, a demon. I don't know how else to say it. And my mother enabled him.

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