Page 21 of Four Times Taken

"Whew!" I sighed, looking up into her dilated pupils. We're both freaked out, but her mother had barely moved a muscle. It's a weird thing to think, but it's almost as if she's dead. At the risk of being yelled at again, I repeated, "What's wrong with her?"

Her mother echoed my words back to me, and I almost let go of the wheelchair. She said it slowly, in a monotone, and her eyes glided in robotic movement. It's fucking freaky, man. Not something I've seen before.

I'm surprised when Lily doesn't yell at me. Pulling the chair back beneath the shade and making sure to lock it in place with force this time so that the wheels are stiff, she raised her head to me. "My father was an asshole," she confessed.

Taking a deep breath, I sat on the grass, blocking the front of the chair with my foot as the back of it rested against the tree next to Lily. She lowered herself too.

"My father was an asshole. They kinda both were." She whispered the last part as if her mother could hear her. I suppose she could.

Lily explained her entire childhood and at the end, I found my shoulders weighted by the load she bore. She's angry, and it's not like she doesn't have a reason to be. Hell, I'm angry, and I didn't have to live through it. Her father isn't a man; he's a little bitch. I wish someone could've stepped in to protect her from that. But I know how it can be.

I grew up in a low-income neighborhood, and the worst I had to deal with was poverty, going to bed without eating sometimes, a grandmother who could be overbearing, and a mother who was overburdened and would pass those burdens onto us. Nothing like what Lily lived through though. My mother was single throughout my entire childhood. She wasn't that trusting of men. Guess that's another thing Lily and she have in common.

I didn't know my dad, but if he was anything like Lily's dad, I'm glad I didn't. While I may not have direct experience with a drug-addicted parent and an abusive father, it doesn't mean I didn't live around it and see it happening with the neighbors. Some of the kids would come over to ours to play and escape the chaos happening at home. And we'd hear the chaos: objects shattering, screaming, crying, thumps, people running down the street, threats and on some occasions, gunshots. Sometimes, the cops would be called; other times, it would go under the radar. I thought that was hell. But at least I got out of it.

Lily had to bear it and still, it has her trapped in its claws. She's given her life up for her mother because she has no one else. And anyone who would do that, I know from watching my own mother do it, has a heart of gold, of the highest value and heavy to carry. She's far from the heartless person I thought she was, and the initial attraction that pulsed through me yesterday has returned with full force. Not only do I think she's sexy as hell, but I respect the hell out of her. So much so that the attraction is difficult to contain.

Oh, this was bad. If Eric could have seen my thoughts right then, our friendship would have collapsed. A part of me wanted to go back to thinking the worst of her; that was easier.

Chapter 15

Lily

Okay, I'll admit it. He's nice or whatever. I knew I carried on like all men were soap scum or toxic mold, and for the most part, I believed that, but I'm no longer that kid who would fall for a nice guy and look to them to save me. I messed up with thinking that Eric was more than just a nice guy, and that he cared about me too.

Ryan says I broke Eric's heart? Yeah, right. More like the other way around. But I won't say that to him. It'd only get back to Eric, and I can't risk him preying on that. As nice as he is, he's let me down before.

Either way, that ship with Eric has sailed.

He communicated how he felt about me loud and clear, in a way that was strong and silent for not a week, not a month, but several years. Yeah, I'm not falling for that bullshit. Oh, but he apologized. Okay? What am I supposed to do with that? Go JoJo on his ass, that's what. 'It's too little, too late.'

You can say I'm overreacting. Just like I owe him nothing, it's not like he owed me loyalty back then, or a promise. But some consideration would have been nice. A courteous farewell, if you may. Nothing?

He knows how much our friendship meant to me. How could he not? He was the only bright light I had in a dark, roaring storm. Yet, he snuffed that light out without a thought for me. I'm not saying he should have stayed. I wouldn't have expected him to. He moved to North Carolina for a couple of years, and I knew he moved around a lot in the past. He spoke about how much he didn't want to have to move again.

He was hoping since he would have turned eighteen the next year, he could have made an independent choice when it came down to it. But his eventual leaving was always in the back of our minds. So, it's not like I didn't think the day would come; it's the way he did it that I can't appreciate. Especially after I kissed him. To just up and go without a word? It was gut-wrenching, to say the least, and humiliating.

Anyway, as Ryan mentioned, it's in the past. And that's where it'll stay. He showed me how much he valued me, and I'm only acting accordingly. There's no coming back from that with Eric.

But Ryan?

Nowadays, I'm able to take people at face value. He's a nice guy, and I have a thing for nice guys. I know now not to expect anything more than they're willing to give; not even nice guys want to be locked down, and I don't need to set myself up for disappointment. Nice guys might even lash out when they're cornered. Deep down, all men have something savage in them. I have no interest in awakening that, shackling myself to a beast.

A fling is more than enough. Even if the niceness is just a charade, they can keep it going for a short while. And a short while is all I need. I hate admitting that I have even that slightest amount of interest in men. That I'm aroused by being treated nicely. But it is what it is, and sex is pretty fun. I try not to read too much into it.

Although, if I'm being honest, I haven't had sex in a while. Don't ask me how long it's been, I couldn't tell you. I've been busy with Mom and too tired to act on desire. It might be why I'm so fired up now, so hot between my legs. It's a shame that he's Eric's friend. I might have made a move and enjoyed a short thing with him.

The stir from yesterday? Oh, it's more than just back. In fact, I didn't think it went away after finding out he was Eric's friend or as we argued moments ago. And I knew he's interested in me. He took moments to just stop and look at me. I didn't have any idea what's going on in his head when he did, but I could take a guess. His eyes got all hot, and they lingered on mine until I'm certain he could see beyond them.

Ooh! If only he weren't Eric's friend. How close are they anyway? Would it even matter? No, that wouldn't be right. Why do I even care?

He's decadent temptation, and my mouth is watering for a taste. A fleeting taste to whet my appetite and go on about my day. Unbothered and satisfied. As I said, I'm not a girl anymore. I'm a woman. I know what I want, and I set the boundaries to ensure I don't get hurt. As long as I'm in control, and they know their place.

He's so my type, too. He's understanding, he listens without making dumb suggestions, his smile makes my pulse do stupid things. Plus, he'll be gone before I can waste thoughts on him. The biggest bonus is that we don't have history together, and it doesn't matter to me what he thinks of my worth. I haven't made the error in valuing him any higher than a nice-enough man I'd consider sharing myself with for a night. If he takes my back out on the first night, maybe two.

He looked ahead at the walking trail and back at me. "How about we get you home?" He cleared his throat.

I cocked my head. "Excuse me?" With where my thoughts were, I couldn't help but jump to conclusions, and my skin gave me away.

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