Page 19 of Four Times Taken

Because I love her, I have to walk away and let go of the idea of us ever being together, and it sucks ass. One mistake made over a decade ago has marked us forever. No loss I've experienced in my life has cut this deep. This bleeds out more profusely than the first time we separated. Now, I don't have hope to get me through the bitter nights.

Chapter 13

Lily

If you think I slept a wink last night, you'd be wrong. All I could think about was Eric and whether or not I was too harsh on him. I spent the first year after he left wishing I'd see him again and the next ten years trying to forget him. The least I could have done was hear him out, maybe get some closure for myself. The truth is he's never left my thoughts, and I promised myself that if I saw him again, I'd treat him with the same disregard he treated me with when he walked out of my life. Gotta say, it didn't feel like I thought it would. Hanging onto a grudge for that long? Let me tell you, it's tiring.

Whatever.

There were several different ways I could've handled yesterday, but none of it mattered anyway because I'm positive he's already long gone. Handling it the way I did was for the best. I can close the door on him for good.

So, if the doubts and regrets could chill it out for a moment, I'd appreciate it. The sun beat down on top of my head as I pushed my mother through the public park. Taking her on these morning walks benefited both of us. It beat being suffocated by the memories of the house. It'd be great if I could get the whole place redone, but it'd cost money, and we'd have to leave the house for a renovation. We could always stay at the shelter, I guess, but the money there is tight enough as it is. The house is more than just an eyesore to look at; it's bad vibes all over. Triggering.

These walks help. Usually. I'll be honest, it's not as easy today. After not getting any sleep at all, my head was all over the place as I left the house, and I forgot to eat breakfast, as well as grab my water bottle. I'm paying for it in this blanket of heat. My body was freaking out, sending my pulse racing a mile a minute. The trail before me blurred, and my mother's body became impossible to push. My legs wobbled as I took a moment to catch my breath.

My dark-blue scrubs were soaked through. Even my toes were sweating in the lightweight slip-on sneakers I chose to wear. It's almost 'lights out' for me until a stranger's voice echoed to me like a call from heaven. Except it's a man's voice, and the tightening in my chest worsened.

"Hey, are you all right?" he asked.

He might be trying to take advantage of a vulnerable woman on a scanty walking trail, alone with her sick mother. "Yes. I'm okay," I panted, frustrated.

"You don't look okay." His hand came around my shoulders to steady me and as I tried to jerk him off, I stumbled. This is it. I'm about to pass out, and I won't be able to stop his predatory plans. "Here, have some water," he offered.

A blue stainless-steel water bottle came into view. My heart thrummed, and my throat screamed for relief. Now, I'm left to make a decision between passing out from thirst and letting him have his way with me or risk drinking his drugged water, passing out and letting him have his way with me. Gotta say, I'm not swimming in options here.

In a split decision, I grabbed the water and flipped the top up, hoping for the best. My eyes fluttered shut, and my breathing became shorter and deeper as I gulped down the rush of cool water. As my mind cleared, I became aware that I'm about to finish it all. Popping my lips off the spout, I wiped away the droplets dripping down my chin.

"Sorry," I said as a loud belch escaped me, causing me to jump.

He laughed. "No problem. You're okay."

Chuckling away my embarrassment, I raised my head to look up at him. "Thanks for not being a creep," I said.

With my vision adjusted, recognition kicked in.

My mouth rounded. "You're that photographer from the wedding, aren't you?"

His smile fell away as he stepped back to observe me better beneath the brim of my black baseball cap. He cleared his throat. His voice didn't have the same kindness and joy from before. It dropped and deepened.

"Oh, it's you." He grimaced, regarding me as if I'm gum stuck to the bottom of his shoe. "You're the woman who broke my boy's heart."

"Eric," I said, turning around to push my mother's chair again, to get us both away from this man, but I couldn't bite my tongue. "Broke his heart?" I laughed. "Barely." I threw over my shoulder.

"You really are heartless, aren't you?" he asked, and I whipped around.

"Me? Heartless?" I scoffed. "Listen, thank you for the water and all, but you don't know what you're talking about."

What was he even still doing here? In Durham, I mean. Didn't they have some other fantastical place to go? I hadn't recognized him or Eric's other friends when I saw them yesterday. It'd been years since I'd looked at his social media, and I wasn't paying a lot of attention to them in the first place, not when I had a single-minded focus on Eric. They'd all changed their hair and had some form of beard now, between a dusting of stubble and a week or two of growth. Unbiasedly, they looked better with age. There's no denying they're handsome as hell. And I don't use 'Hell' lightly.

While they might have changed physically, I didn't doubt they're all still dipping off to wherever they pleased on fancy 'holidays' around the globe, without a care in the world for anyone but themselves. A part of me loathed them for that. Eric had gone all around the world and had still managed to find me, stuck in the same place in Durham. It's kinda embarrassing.

"I know you're punishing him for something that happened over a decade ago when you were kids, like a psycho," he said as I puffed through my nostrils, coming to a halt, trying to control my temper. "I know that when he heard I got a job in Durham, he spent nights leading up to yesterday, talking about you."

I snapped, "Aw. Good of him to remember me after all this time. Did you guys all have a cute little slumber party talking about all the girls you screwed over in the past?"

He swore, "Unbelievable."

Pushing down on the inner voice trying to subdue me, I continued, "What did you think you were going to achieve by telling me that? Am I supposed to be jumping with glee or something?"

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