"What's wrong? Is everything okay?" Eric caressed her waist as the other guys stepped past them, and I pulled myself away from staring to do the same.
"I don't know if you're going to want to be with me after I tell you this." I heard her confess, choking back a sob.
"Hey," Eric soothed. "There's nothing you can do that'll make me leave you. Remember, as long as you don't push me away, I'm here to stay, okay?" he asked.
As she turned around, clearing the emotion from her throat, I pulled away from the wall I was leaning up against to overhear their conversation. They both looked at me, and I dropped my eyes, following them into the living room.
Lily
As was expected, my heart drummed like the solo in a rock song, crashing cymbals and kicking bass as my guilt throttled me beneath its hoofed feet. I worried that calling them all here for a group discussion was a bad idea. But I'm also scared about telling Eric this on my own. As much as my heart tells me I'm safe with him, it's hard to know someone's full capabilities, or which button pressed will send them flying off the handle. After all, we're all one bad day away from finding out something horrifying about our character. What if he finds out he's not as chill as he thought he was, the same time I find out?
But wouldn't telling him what I did in front of all his friends add more fuel to the fire? Aside from taking the risk of embarrassing him, in the event that something popped off between us, it'It's more likely that his friends would jump in to support him.
Calling them all here was indeed a bad idea. I should have arranged to meet them in a park or something. Somewhere public. My mother was in bed resting. If things got loud, there'd be nothing she could do to stop it. Nausea erupted inside of me, and my chest tightened.
"Babe, what's wrong?" Eric leaned forward on the couch and rested his hand on mine. I'd seated myself on a dining chair I'd pulled to the center of the room.
My throat tightened, and I swallowed.
"It's okay, you can trust me with whatever this is. You can trust us." Eric smiled.
The room grew smaller.
"You're looking a little pale. Do you need..." Ethan started, but before he could finish, Ryan's already made his way to the kitchen to hand me a glass of water. Even accepting the water from his hand was a battle I had to face while avoiding eye contact with him.
"Eric, I love you," I rushed to reassure him. "I want you to know that because what I'm about to tell you may make you doubt that, but you need to know that I still love you just as much as I always have. Maybe even more." My eyes stung from the developing tears. "I still dream of things like marriage with you..." I confessed, though my cheeks burned with the admission.
"You want to marry me?" Eric smiled.
"Someday." I sniffled. "But I think I just ruined the possibility of that ever happening."
He grinned. "I doubt that. Come on. Tell me. Whatever it is, we'll get through it together." He stroked the back of my hand with his thumb.
Biting my lip, the tightening of my chest becoming severe, I glanced at Ryan, whose eyes were encouraging me to come clean. I had this fear, irrational or not, that Ryan would confess for me if I didn't hurry the hell up. I accepted my fate, hoping for mercy, as I opened my mouth.
The words got lodged in my throat, and I coughed. Grabbing the glass of water, I took another sip. Eric left the couch and crouched before me, cradling my face when I'd finished.
"Breathe, Lily. One word at a time," he whispered.
I was aware that he could snap my neck with ease with his hands on my face like this, but for some reason, his gesture soothed me.
"Please don't hurt me, you know, physically, once I tell you this," I begged.
His face tensed at that, but he ran his hands down over my shoulders and down my trembling arms. I hadn't known I was trembling until now.
"You'll never have to worry about that with me. Because I love you too. Okay?" He looked me in the eyes. "Love doesn't seek to hurt."
Grappling with that one, I averted my eyes. I loved him and in sleeping with his best friend, I'd risked hurting him even if causing him pain wasn't the driving force behind sleeping with Ryan. Telling him could also wound him, but I needed to confess because I didn't want to hurt him. I'm not seeking to cause him pain, but it doesn't change anything if he feels betrayed by it.
Damn, I hoped I'm not a fucking idiot for nodding and opening my mouth, but I took his advice, breathing between each word. "I..." I gulped and squeezed my eyes shut, wincing on instinct. "Slept... with Ryan."
Tears burned my cheeks, my soul detached from my physical form, yet Eric's gentle, stroking fingers remained. His kiss on my lips startled me, and my eyes flew open to see him smiling at me.
"Finally," he groaned against my lips and kissed me again, stirring confusion and lust within my belly.
"What?" I asked, in a haze. I looked over at Ryan, who was grinning as his own weight fell away from his body.
"Told you he'd be okay with it," he said, though his own words surprised him.