Page 43 of Four Times Saved

"What was that?" Matt braved the question.

"What?" She turned her attention to the fettuccine pasta and stuffed her face with it.

"That reaction. You're pale." He reached up to stroke her cheek and she flinched.

"I'm fine," she grunted.

"You're clearly not. Lily, you're shaking." I gasped as she vibrated against the palm I rested on her back.

"I said I'm fine! Okay?" She yelled as Ryan appeared in the living room. I hadn't even noticed he'd left, to be honest.

"Um. I've just heated up your bath and put some music on. It's ready whenever you are. Is everything okay?" He moved toward her.

She turned her head up at the ceiling before jumping to her feet. "If another one of you asks me that question, I'm going to lose my shit." She abandoned her food. "Thanks for the bath," she mumbled beneath her breath, before disappearing down the hallway and reappearing with her head facing the floor. "I don't know where the bathroom is."

Chapter 24

Lily

The door closed and I stood looking at it with my jaw on the floor. I had just stripped naked before all of them and they ran away like scared little cats.

Just a little less than a week ago, they were on me at the drop of a hat; I had to enforce a rule to keep them away. A rule that led to me being captured and on the verge of death not once, but twice.

I just wanted to go back to before I made that stupid rule, before I gave them space and asked for space. And I knew it wasn't all about sex. I knew what we had was stronger than that. When you're in hell, your soul doesn't beg to be reunited with someone just because of sex. You don't drop everything you're doing and get on a plane when there's an emergency because you love fucking someone. Or decide to change your whole life for them, like these men have done for me. And open up more than just your body for them.

I'd had a lot of sex with a lot of men before them, and my heart hadn't ignited until they came into the picture. I knew they were emotionally available and could be the rocks I needed to lean on and talk me through my hellish ordeal. But that wasn't the point. I just wanted to be reminded about the parts of us that made me feel the most alive before this.

I loved that they wanted to be there for me. But I wasn't ready to talk about this yet. What I wanted was them, fucking the last few days out of my head. Was that too much to ask for?

Shaking my head, I scoffed at the option I'd given them to join me in this giant tub. Instead of jumping at the offer to lather me up from head to toe, until I was loose and ready for the taking, they took off like a road runner cartoon and left me in the dust.

How long would it be until things were back to normal?

Climbing into the pink floral scented water with tears streaming down my face, I chugged on the alcohol-free champagne that was waiting for me on a tray next to chocolate-covered strawberries. The set up was sexy for no damn reason. Grabbing the remote next to the tray, I shut the soft music off, but then I was left with my thoughts so I turned it back on, threw the mask over my eyes and rested my head back against the Jacuzzi tub.

There was no chance in hell I was going to be able to relax.

My head bounced back off just as soon as I'd rested it and I popped the mask off my eyes.

This was a nice gesture, but even with the music, the echo was too loud. I kept thinking there was someone over my shoulder and any minute now, my head was going to be shoved beneath the water. Giving up on staying in this bathroom all alone with the door locked, I cut my bath short, and decided to call it a night.

When I marched out of the bathroom, however, I ran into all four of them standing outside my door. It was jarring at first, but all the more comforting knowing they hadn't just left me in there on my lonesome.

"What are you already doing out?" Ryan looked back at the barely sipped wine and the uneaten strawberries.

"Thanks for the thought, but..." I began to walk away before stopping in my tracks, reflecting on the way I was treating them. "Look, I'm sorry for pressuring you and acting like I don't appreciate everything you're doing. I'm just..." My voice broke. "I'm just not ready to talk about it yet, and I don't want Terry to ruin anything else in my life. He's already done enough."

At the sight of my tears, all of them rushed forward, as if the components of the tear drops leaped into the air and commingled with their DNA to trigger a biological exigency within them. Eric reached me first. The rough of his thumb brushed across my cheek and current coursed through every nerve of my skin, flipping my belly and tickling my clit.

The opportunity to indulge in the intimacy of their touch and the downpour of their love on my body was a breath away. But they'd made it clear that brushing my cheek was as far as their limits would allow them to go.

Clearing my throat, I smiled and stepped out of his touch, and forced the tears back into my body. What was the matter with me? All I could focus on was what I wanted, and couldn't have. When I was finally home. Every minute I was away, I dreamed of reuniting with them, and I was back. I no longer had to live in the nightmare of my childhood home, instead, I was in my version of a mansion. The walls were so clean, I imagined the guys either got on their hands and knees scrubbing this place, or they had a maid.

In my previous life, I was meant to be the maid, with Terry and Marco. A shiver passed through me at the thought of Terry.

The bedroom they had assigned to me was something out of a magazine. The house had no end. I hadn't seen all of it yet, and I knew I shouldn't get attached because this was an Airbnb—and I didn't know where I'd be living from this point on or where my life was heading—but I was safe in more luxury than I could have ever imagined, with all of my men.

It was like I was born again, into a new life, one that I didn't think I deserved.

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