Page 11 of Four Times Saved

Ryan

My eyes burned from the tears as I stared at the pictures on my camera that I took when I saw Lily for the first time. At her friend's wedding, she shone brighter than every flower there, and I already knew, without having any clue who she was, that she was the one. Despite the fog clouding my vision now, she still glowed brighter than everyone else in the picture. There's something about looking at the one you love. She already had a luminous glow about her, but through the eyes of love, she burns so bright, it hurts.

That day is so far away now as I sit in the airplane window seat, on my way back to Durham, knowing she won't be there to wrap her arms around me, and I won't get to bury my nose in her hair, drowning in the scent of her. 'Home' by Michael Bublé plays on repeat through my headphones as the blur of people walk by me to their seats. I don't know why I didn't take Ethan or Matt's private jet; I'd be there already. But they didn't offer, and I didn't ask because I can only imagine they're

Though I'm being ripped apart by the eeriness of her eyes looking back at me, I can't put the photo away. I have to see her, despite the pain and the paranoia setting off unsettling images inside my head. In her dark purple dress, her hazel eyes twinkle at me and her dark purple lips kick up in a flirtatious smirk. I wish this picture of her was physical and that she'd walk out of it, pull me in her arms and tell me that she's okay. I'd do anything to have her shake me awake and tell me it's a bad dream while she smiles at me with messy bedhead, sleepy eyes, her septum piercing winking at me, and those soft, pretty pink lips. I wish that she'd materialize in front of me so badly, ridding me of all my worries, that my chest rattles from the weight of my delusion.

Lack of sleep will do that to you. I couldn't stay at the hotel after finding out that Lily is in danger. If I could walk across the sea, myself, to get to her sooner, I'd do it. I'd been going out of my mind at the airport for the past twelve hours. There was no reason for me to be there that early; I just couldn't be anywhere else. I needed...need to be closer to Lily.

Every time I think of where I'm headed, my heart bleeds. Durham is Lily's home. Our home with her. Without her there, I can't bear the thought. The fucker who had the nerve to take her away from me will have hell to pay, one way or the other. Either the police will do their job or I'll do my own investigations, starting with the same friend from the wedding, Ann-Marie. And when I find out who's responsible, there's no telling what I'll do. If there's a single hair harmed on her head, the police will have to arrest me instead.

The plane isn't anywhere near being ready to take off, so I pull out my phone. I still have both Ann-Marie and her husband's number from when they booked me to photograph their wedding. The phone picks up on the second attempt to contact her, and by then, my heartbeat is competing with the words trapped on my tongue, that I start speaking before she can say a word.

"Lily's missing." I burst, tears shooting out from my eyes like a sprinkler. I forget where I am, not caring about the people around me and what they might think.

Ann-Marie doesn't say anything and the silence gives me the permission to break down further.

"I don't know what happened. She went to the door and didn't come back inside. I don't know why we didn't think about putting up security cameras on the outside of the house! They were only supposed to be there to keep an eye on Lily's mother, but after her asshole father's pop up visit, we should've been more vigilant. And the police ain't worth a damn. I could grab all their heads and knock them together, but they'd probably echo like hollow coconuts, the brainless fucks. I'm really going out of my mind here, Ann-Marie. I have a bad feeling about this. I'm trying not to think the worst, but I keep getting these flashing images of Lily...Oh, I can't say it." I almost choke on my own voice.

She's still silent and I swallow, taking a breath.

"I know you're probably too shocked to speak right now, because of all of this overwhelming news and because I'm calling you and you might not know what to think. I'm assuming you already know about Eric and Lily, but you might not know that I'm with Lily as well. I love her, Ann-Marie. I can't lose her. Please, say something! Do you know if she walked out and just forgot to lock the door? What am I asking? Of course not. If you know anything, please, Ann-Marie. The police are too stuck on the fact that Lily has four boyfriends to look further in the investigation. They have the nerve to think that we have something to do with her disappearance!" I huff, the fire in my body seeping out of my nostrils to scorch my top lip. "I can't wait for them to squeeze out of their narrow-minded holes into the real world. I have to do something. I'm willing to do anything to find Lily, myself." I'm breathless, spent from the word vomit and the frustrating silence.

"Ann-Marie! Did you hear anything I just said?" I yell, my eyes jumping out of my skull. Wincing at the harshness in my tone, I begin to wonder if I called the wrong number and just told all of my business to a complete stranger.

There's a harsh and heavy clearing of the throat, holding a warning in its bass which causes the hairs on my skin to stand at attention. "I'll go and get Ann-Marie for you," Tyler, her husband, says.

I won't lie to you, I jump in response to his voice. He's been friendly whenever we've interacted before. He was the one who sought me out and booked me. He struck me as a quiet but easy-going businessman with a lot of luck and money on his side. But his tone now? It sent chills down my spine and I'm left with the sensation that I'll be hearing from him again soon.

Chapter 6

Tyler

Protecting my wife was my utmost responsibility. I could be feral when it came to her. So when Ryan yelled at her, or who he thought was her, I stiffened, gripping the phone as if it were the collar of his shirt that I could squeeze around his neck until he apologized, or until his air ran out, whichever happened first.

I understood his frustration and his fear. The woman he loved was missing; of course he was flipping out. But it was my love for my wife that kept me silently listening while he spoke. It was the reason I was still holding the phone now, instead of calling Ann-Marie right away. I was fighting with the need to protect her from his desperation and frustration. I needed to protect her from being triggered.

The way I met Ann was through some fucker who tried to sell her to me to pay off his debt. He'd kidnapped a random woman, held her for days while doing unspeakable things to her, before attempting to sell her to me. I killed the sorry fucker, but I kept her. I doubted Lily knew that this was how we met. Ann made up some story about meeting me on vacation.

In truth, after falling for her, it took years before we reunited and I could convince her to marry me. "Not unless you give up your life of crime," she always said.

For a couple of years after letting her walk out of my life, I'd pined for her. I was going out of my mind without her. I knew that if I wanted more than to possess her, if I wanted her to love me back, I'd have to come correct. Hell, I'd have to be the one to submit to her. And damn it, I did.

She was the first reason I ever had to walk away from mob life. She dug up the heart I thought I'd buried six feet under, dusted it off and got it beating again. She was my life. This news would devastate her. If Ryan pressured her, she stood the chance of going back in time to a bad memory, hurting all over again. I couldn't have that.

Still, it was her best friend. She'd find out one way or another. And if it got out that I knew, that would hurt her too. I could always threaten Ryan to keep it to himself, but I promised her that I'd leave that part of me behind.

"Ann-Marie, baby!" I stepped out of the office to yell.

She was going to find out anyway; at least now I could be right next to her when she did. I'd be here to hold her if she began to fall apart.

"Babe?!" She called from upstairs, coming from our master bedroom in her pink terry cloth robe and a hair towel to dry her dark brown, loose curly waist-length hair.

Her light brown skin was pale from her shower, but as her eyes met mine, color deepened her skin once more. Her twinkling eyes faded, however, when she focused on the tightness in my jaw.

Her eyebrows raised and she took off running down our grand staircase. "What's wrong?" she asked.

Damn, I needed to work on my facial expressions. She read them too well. Unsure what to say, I handed the phone to her. She grabbed it, covering the speaker with her palm.

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