Page 43 of Rock Strong

“Must have been something in the air, Liam, because I’m not usually like that. You make me feel that way,” I said, goose bumps creeping up my arms and neck. I couldn’t believe the things I was doing and telling this man. Putting myself so out there for him to analyze. And possibly destroy. So dangerous.

“I’m glad that I do that for you. What’s it normally like for you then?”

“Normally?” I exhaled slowly, considering the question. “Normally, I just practice cello, perform, cook, maybe hang out with Rosemary. Nothing much, really.”

“So maybe you were ready to try on a new skin.”

“I am. I mean, I was, and I’m glad I did with you, Liam, honestly. I’m just…” I couldn’t tell him everything. From all I’d seen in movies and read in novels, once you divulged every last feeling, that’s when someone betrayed you.

“What?” he asked.

Something in Liam’s eyes told me it was okay to talk, though. He was just a person, and I was just a person, and there was nothing to be scared about. There was that word again. “Scared. If I seem at times like I’m not sure how to proceed, not sure of what I want, I hope you’ll have patience with me. I just came out of a relationship,” I said to silent eyes regarding me with admiration. “It scared the hell out of me.”

“What was so scary about it? He wanted to get married and you didn’t?”

I shook my head. “No way, I couldn’t even think about marriage with him. My mom never married. My father left her while she was pregnant. I was the reason she had to quit the New York Philharmonic.”

His eyes grew wide in surprise. “Your mother played, too?”

Smiling, thinking of Mom, I nodded. “The best cello player around. Better than I am.”

“Damn, then I should have hired your momma,” Liam said, winking.

“She wouldn’t have come.” I smirked. “When I was born, she pretty much stopped thinking of herself. Because my dad left, she had to throw it all away to raise a baby. It never would’ve happened had my father cared for her, provided for her. She might be Principal Cello now. She might be playing to audiences every other night. Like you.” I smiled.

“I’m sorry to hear that.”

I shrugged. “He was already married. My mother began seeing him without knowing he had another family. It’s a long story. I won’t bore you with it, but he’s one of the reasons why I can’t allow myself to be too impulsive, because I know it’ll lead to heartbreak. It did for my mom. I can’t let the same happen to me.”

He watched me for a long time, until our plates arrived, then he snapped out of his trance. Maybe he was thinking how depressing that was, what a pathetic girlfriend I would make, but at least now he knew.

There was something else bothering me, though, something on my mind, and I needed to know before I proceeded with him. “What about you? You must have some skeletons in your closet, Ghosts of Liam Past.” I chuckled from the nerves more than anything.

“Me? Nah. What you see is pretty much what you get.”

“That’s not what I heard.” I gave him the Arched Eyebrow of Disbelief. “Is it true you’re just a drama geek?”

He poured black beans onto his rice and mixed the two around. “You’re not going to make me go there, are you?” He laughed.

“Hey, I went to what scares me! Don’t you have anything that scares you, Liam Collier? Keeps you from showing your real feelings sometimes?” I asked, propping my chin on one hand, wanting him to confide in me about the something in his past he’d mentioned the other day. “Surely you must have some ex-girlfriends or heartbreak in your past.”

I didn’t want to come right out and mention the supermodel I’d heard people talking about, but it appeared I didn’t have to.

“You want me to talk about Giselle. Is that it?” He didn’t seem too happy to discuss it.

Maybe this wasn’t the best time for it, but I needed to know what I was up against. “Well, weren’t you two involved last year, and she lives here in Vancouver?” I asked. “I have to admit, it makes me nervous. I mean, I saw…” I hesitated to mention the tribal thorned tattoo on his back. “A design that might’ve been about her.”

“You talking about my ink?” He pointed to his back. “Because if you are, you don’t have to worry. It’s not about Giselle. Giselle was a distraction. She was fun to hang around with last year when I was just doing my thing, living life to the fullest, the craziest. She was good for press. She made me the front man everyone wants to see, but she’s not who I need in my life.”

“Okay. Because I saw Veni, Vidi, Vici at the bottom and figured it was about Giselle because of her last name.”

His eyes narrowed a moment as he thought. Then he smiled and shook his head. “Oh…God, no. That means I came, I saw, I conquered in Latin,” he said.

I knew what the phrase meant, but I’d thought it might also be a double entendre.

“It’s there because of my high school girlfriend,” he went on. “She told me to live life to the fullest. She’s the one who made me come out of my shell, taught me that if I wanted to be someone else, someone bigger, I needed to visualize and become that person. Become the change you want to see.”

Ah, so the tattoo wasn’t about Giselle, but it was still about a woman from his past. A woman who’d given him confidence. Enriched his life. “Gandhi.”

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