Page 57 of Rock Strong

“Great.” He feigned passing out, relieved at my answer. “Moe’s Pizza?”

“I’ll be ready in five.”

Dinner was fine. There was nothing wrong with it. There was nothing right with it either. Samuel mostly talked about the things I’d missed while I was away, the people at his work, the new girl there who so many were making fun of because of her “intellectual density,” as he put it. If there was one thing that annoyed me about Samuel, it was the way he perceived people of average intelligence. Not stupid people who did stupid, hurtful things to others. I meant harmless people, who were, for all intents and purposes, nice, fun to be around, and perfectly acceptable individuals, but they just weren’t the brightest crayons in the box. He always talked down about them, how they didn’t understand what he explained, how they didn’t catch things as quickly as he did. His air of condescension irked me. So, whereas before our breakup I listened with an open ear, nodding and smiling at his comments, this time I just stared at him.

It was amazing how the distance between us immediately showed me his true colors.

We were sharing a cannoli when he wiped his mouth with the napkin and asked, “So…”

“So?” I gave him a slack look.

“Did you sleep with him?”

I nearly choked on my spoon. “With whom?”

He adopted a sullen look. “Don’t ask me that, Abigail. It really makes you seem clueless, and you know who I’m talking about. Everyone saw your photo with him last week. I’m only asking because I’m curious.”

“I’m the one asking inappropriate questions?” I countered.

Silence.

He sighed and folded his hands, looking elsewhere.

“No, of course not,” I lied straight to his face. Not because I was embarrassed by having been with Liam in the sexual sense, or because I felt the need to hide information from Samuel, but because it wasn’t his business. I didn’t feel like having a long discussion about it either. “We only spent time together and became good friends. That was it.” I went back to our dessert.

He gave a slight shake of his head, exhaling loudly. “I guess you wouldn’t tell me even if you had. The only reason I’m asking is because I wanted to tell you…that it doesn’t matter.” He again folded his hands in front of himself matter-of-factly. “I’m willing to overlook it. I’ll still have you back even if you’ve been with him.”

I set down my spoon and stared at him. “Have me back?”

“Yes. I’ll overlook it.” He shrugged. “We were separated at the time. I won’t hold it against you.”

“Hold it against me,” I repeated. I just couldn’t believe what I was hearing. Had I really put up with this? Was I supposed to be feeling guilt over some transgression when we’d clearly broken up two months ago? When I’d said that I needed time on my own to see what I felt? “Who says I want to go back with you, Samuel? That’s a big assumption.”

“I said if, Abby. God.” He stared at me awhile, then turned to thumb through his phone, then looked around for the waiter, avoiding my gaze at all costs.

Would it be so terrible, though? To go back with Samuel? Not for good, just for a distraction. We were from similar backgrounds, we’d both focused on academics, and we both had similar friends. I hated to admit it, but he would make a good diversion from painful thoughts of Liam. Spending the night with him would help me forget, erase mistakes I’d made. It was worth a try.

“Samuel?”

“Yes?”

“Let’s get out of here,” I blurted. I wanted to try, just walk through the park at night like we used to and see if that brought back memories of comfort and familiarity, at the very least. Maybe I’d been foolish to let him go. Samuel was a good man with a good job. He’d make an excellent husband and father one day. Dependable and trustworthy—a mother’s wet dream.

Not like certain people who made thirty thousand hearts break a night with his soulful, crooning performance. Some of those hearts hung around backstage after every show, and sometimes, those hearts belonged to top-name supermodels. Obviously, I could never compete and shouldn’t have even tried.

Samuel’s eyes blinked rapidly. “Do you mean it?”

“Yes, let’s walk through the park.” Surely he remembered what we sometimes used to do when we walked through the park. In our early days, at least.

Samuel caught the waiter’s attention. “Check, please.”

We took the long way back to my apartment, walking on a moonless night. Brooklyn streets were consoling in their familiarity, as was ringing my arm through Samuel’s. He’d been my boyfriend for four years. All of this made me feel like I was back where I belonged.

“What changed your mind?” he asked as we entered the park’s tunnel of summery green trees.

“I’ll be honest with you.” We took slow steps along the path. I had always loved walking through gardens, particularly at night. The shadowy shapes lent a distinct air of mystery and intrigue that enlivened my senses. “I don’t know if I want to get back together, but I’m willing to have a nice time tonight. Just to see how I feel. It is possible that I’ve been confused.”

“That makes sense,” he said quietly. “I appreciate you giving us another try.”

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