Page 121 of A Whole New Play

“Don’t say that,” I say, ignoring the pang of pain that accompanies hearing Carter’s name. This is the first confirmation that my coworkers are aware of my previous relationship, and honestly, I’m glad to finally talk about it out loud. “You’re great, Henry. I’m just not in a place to date right now.”

I don’t know how I ever will be…

I have a genuine fear that no relationship will compare to what I felt for Carter.

“It’s okay. Really.” He seems genuine, albeit a little embarrassed. “I’m not sure what happened between you two, but if he’s the reason things ended, then I have to say he’s an idiot. You’re great, and I hope you feel ready to move on one day.”

Tears prick the back of my eyes. I blink to hold them back. “Thanks, Henry. That’s nice of you to say.”

“No problem.” He hikes a thumb over his shoulder. “Are you ready to go?”

“Actually, I have a few things I need to finish before leaving for the day. Text me where you guys go and I’ll meet you there?”

He nods. “Sounds good. See you later, Valerie.”

“See you.”

We part ways in the hall. I head back to my office, and it takes all my strength to hold it together until I’m safely out of sight.

I close the door, lean against the wood, and hang my head. Tears roll down my cheeks unchecked.

I don’t even know why I’m crying.

I haven’t heard from Carter in months.

Hearing about him hurts, but it doesn’t depress me like it did at the beginning of our breakup.

It’d been next to impossible to even call my dad and talk about the team.

All I wanted to do was pretend our relationship never happened.

I didn’t want to remember our late-night talks. Or how it felt to be wrapped in his arms as I drifted off to sleep.

But the loss hurts so much more knowing that I’ve also lost the relationships I’d been forming with Abby and Andy. I care about the twins so much—much more than I ever could have expected.

I want to know if they’re happy. I want to know if their living situation has finally been settled and they can find stability with their dad.

But now that I’m not their nanny and I’m not dating their dad, what’s going on in their lives is none of my business. I didn’t expect that to hurt so much.

I wonder who Carter hired as a new nanny.

After he broke up with me, I offered to keep working until he found a replacement. He, of course, insisted that wasn’t necessary.

Probably for his benefit as much as mine.

I’m sure he didn’t want to see his ex moping around his house, looking for any sign that he regretted his decision and wanted her back.

From Dad, I learned Carter’s parents stepped up to fill my void initially, but surely he’s hired someone else by now.

I wonder how the twins get along with her.

I hope it’s going well.

Do you?

Okay… I’m not going to lie. Part of me hopes Carter feels the effect of my absence by struggling to find a replacement that Abby and Andy like.

I want to know he misses me… if only as his kids’ nanny and not his girlfriend.

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