She waves a dismissive hand. “The point I’m trying to make is that you quit your job to look for a different opportunity. Well, becoming a CFO is one hell of an opportunity, Valerie. I cannot believe you are seriously considering letting it pass you by.”
I should tell my mom that I’ll think about what she’s said and change the subject. But try as I might, I can’t ignore the intense need to defend myself—to not let her bully me into submission for once in my life.
“I quit my job because I had no personal life,” I remind her. “And by agreeing to work at a startup, I’m all but guaranteeing that I will be working just as many hours as I did as an accountant in Houston. If not more.”
“But won’t the payoff be worth it?”
“I don’t know.” And I don’t know if it’s a chance I’m willing to take.
The stress and anxiety that have been my life’s constant companions have all but disappeared these past few months. I feel like I can breathe for the first time since I was a child who didn’t feel the expectations of her mother or world leering over her shoulder.
And I’m happy.
I’m not sure the opportunity to be a young, female CFO is worth losing that. Or harming my mental health.
Unfortunately, Mom doesn’t think the same way.
Her lips tighten in a forced smile as she tries to maintain her composure. If we were behind closed doors, I have no doubt she’d drop the polite façade and rip into me. “You must be joking, Valerie. Please… tell me you’re joking.”
“I’m not joking. I’m not sure taking this job will be what’s best for me in the long run.”
“This is because you’re dating that football player. Isn’t it?” She’s close to losing her cool. And I’m not going to lie, that terrifies me.
“I will make the decision that’s best for me,” I answer honestly. “No one else.”
“That’s bull shit,” she hisses.
I rear back, stunned.
I can’t remember the last time my mom cursed in public. I doubt it’s ever happened.
I expect her to realize what she’s done and get control of herself, but she doesn’t. She’s too worked up.
“Nothing in life is guaranteed, Valerie. Nothing. Hard work and grit don’t always get a person what they deserve. So when an opportunity like this presents itself, you have to grab it and hold on tight. You don’t let anything stand in your way. Especially not a man whose job is playing an idiotic game.”
My eyes are wide as I take in her flared nostrils and fierce glare. She’s seething.
It wasn’t so long ago that I would crumble under the pressure of her anger and disappointment and agree to do whatever she wanted me to do.
But things have changed.
I’m not the same little girl who craved her mother’s approval at the expense of her happiness.
It’s tempting to return her anger with my own, but I don’t want to fight. I don’t want to argue. I just want her to respect my decisions.
But that won’t happen until I figure out what’s motivating such a visceral reaction from the woman who gave me life.
“Was life with Dad really that bad?”
She blinks, taken aback by the question. “What?”
“Was being a wife and a mom such a bad life? Did Dad mistreat you? Did he keep you from achieving your dreams?” I can’t think of what else would make her this way.
Some of the tension leaves her body, but her lips are still pressed tight before she admits, “No. Your dad was a good husband. But we were young—too young to get together and start a family. I realized I had dreams bigger than that life.”
Dreams bigger than being your mom.
She doesn’t say the words out loud, but I hear them loud and clear.