“Home, unpack and the gym. Then tomorrow my little brother, the new adventure begins,” I stated as a matter of fact, allowing my grin to spread across my face as I watched a rainbow suddenly appear in the sky over the Manhattan skyline.
“I’ve never heard something sound so good leaving your mouth,” he replied, nodding back at me. “I’m so glad our time has finally come. It’s been a long time coming.”
“It really has been.” I nodded. “It really has.”
CHAPTER TWENTY
WALKER
I wasn’t going to sit here any longer. I needed to see him. I had to ensure that what was currently happening inside my head was just a horrible, manifested panic rather than reality settling in. I know that Sebastian said that this week was ‘hell on earth’ for him at work but a message or some sort of communication took two minutes and at this moment I was thinking the worst, that he was retreating back into his shell away from me and all that we had worked through together. I said to him that we could take it at his pace and I meant it but being ghosted completely wasn’t part of that equation.
“Do you think this is a good idea?” Dee asked me for the third time in I don’t know how many minutes. I’d already nodded and answered her with a yes, the other times she’d asked but it seemed that I’d have to open up and give her more, telling her what was going through my mind for her to understand why I was fixated on going through with this. She of all people should understand my predicament, being my best friend and all. I couldn’t cope with losing Sebastian when I’d only just found him. “Maybe he’s just busy. Come on Walker, think this through.”
“I’ve done nothing but think it through, Dee,” I snapped as I walked around in circles. I finally stopped, slamming my hand harshly down on the breakfast bar. My thoughts drifted back to that perfect Sunday morning only last week when we enjoyed those waffles together without a care in the world. How can things change so drastically in less than a week? I gazed up at my best friend and felt the overwhelming anguish hit me as I fought back, letting the tears escape that I had been keeping back. “I’m scared, okay? I’m petrified that if I don’t let him know I’m here, that he’ll just never return. Maybe he’s regretting starting anything with me and that I’m not worthy of him.” I let the tears fall as she gathered me in her arms. “Sebastian has such an issue with his confidence and feeling loved and he had let me crack through that shell and show him that I cared for him, that I…” I gulped harshly. “I l-like him. I like him a lot, okay?”
I saw Dee’s eyes glistening in return as she watched me pour my heart out to her.
“So, you want to see him but you’re not going to do anything drastic?” Dee questioned me, widening her eyes. “You’re not going to out him to everyone because you want to stop him pulling away.”
“Hell no.” I shook my head. “What do you take me for? If I do that, then I’m just signing the death warrant on our relationship right now.”
“Phew,” she said, pulling back and letting go of my arms. “Because you had me a little worried back there.”
“I just want to show him that I’m still here, that we can still see each other within our own circles without making an obvious scene and…” I dropped my head. “I can show him that I take his life as seriously as my own, even if it isn’t what I normally enjoy.”
“You can say that again. The gym, Walker?” Dee asked, shocked. “You’re not exactly a workout type of guy, unless you count a movie marathon or a binge of Supernatural when you’re feeling low and depressed.”
“I can make an effort. I mean, plenty of people go to the gym each day. Surely, I can cope with a short burst to see Sebastian,” I remarked back, not sure if I was trying to reassure Dee more than myself.
“It’s not you. I’ve got to put up with the torture too,” she whined back, rolling her eyes. “But then, it’s better than watching you mope around here all day.”
“So, you’ll come with me to Power Zone?” I asked, hopefully bracing my fingers together as I tapped the tips together. I was a nervous wreck that couldn’t sit still and all I wanted to do was say fuck it and get changed into the workout gear I’d already purchased earlier, just in case I did decide to go. I couldn’t turn up looking like I’d never ran a mile in my life, even if it was the truth. “I’ll beg if I have to.”
“Over dramatic or what?” Dee mocked before standing. “Give me an hour and I’ll be back.”
“Is that a, yes?” I stood up and readied myself to pounce on my best friend as she held her hands out in front of herself, as if warning me to not even think about it. “Come on Dee, don’t leave me hanging like this.”
“I’m going to raid out the depths of my closet for some workout clothes, okay?” I couldn’t help but fist bump the air as I made my way toward her before opening my arms, indicating for her to step in for a hug. “I’m telling you Walker; you better be right that he’s here. I just hope I can find something suitable now.”
“Thanks Dee. I owe you,” I mumbled into her neck before pulling back. “I just…”
“I know. Now I had better go or we’ll never get there.”
* * *
I knew I was an exercise-phobe normally, but I’d never felt so full of life when I entered the gym and knew that past the double set of doors in front of me, Sebastian was working out. I did have that slight edge of doubt whether me showing up here would be a silly thing to do but it was a place that he generally seemed to love talking about when we spoke at the weekend. I know he had a charity event he was training for that he’d been pushed into but he also said that normally, just letting off steam was something he did to relax. The moment I finished filling out my application form and handed both mine and Dee’s forms back to Brett, I felt lighter as I silently watched him scouring over the information before passing me a pen.
“Can you both please sign in for me to say you’re in the building? Health and safety protocols and all. Then I just need to grab some mug shots.” He laughed, tapping the web camera that was attached to the top of the computer he was sitting at. “Just so I can make your passes. They’ll be ready for you to collect on the way out.”
I took the pen that was laid on top of the open book and ran my finger down the list in search of the next blank space before stopping on the name three spaces from the bottom: Sebastian Holt. It’s got to be him. I admired the impressive, scribed style of writing and couldn’t help but smirk as I took in the date and time, knowing that it couldn’t be anyone else. I began writing in my details and signed my name before handing the pen over to Dee, allowing her to repeat the process while I stored that new piece of information away in my mind. I now knew his surname and even though I should be glad, I felt cheated as I wished that Sebastian had opened up and told me himself, instead of reading that information from a list of names. I knew there must have been a reason but for now, that didn’t matter. First Dee and I had to go into the training room and listen to the instructor implicitly during our induction but afterwards, the main room was mine. I’d find him and show him what I had in me.
“That was brutal,” Dee said the moment I hooked my arm in hers and begun to drag her out of the training room and head in the direction of the main gym. “Why did that brute have to pick me out of the line-up for demonstrations?”
“I don’t know. Maybe because you look the part,” I joked as I took in the fitted crop top showing off her midriff, the fitted skin tight leggings and the bright red hair that was rolled tightly in a messy bun on the top of her head. “I thought you said you didn’t have workout gear. You looked the part and of course that means you’ll stick out to an instructor whose eyes were popping out of his sockets as they stayed glued to your barely concealed bust.”
“This,” Dee said, dropping my arm from the crook of her shoulder, “is all contained perfectly. It’s the perfect attire to work out in, I’ll have you know.” She patted my chest before pushing the double doors open and my eyes immediately spotted Sebastian in the corner, working out on one of the rowing machines. It was the woman leaning over him, twiddling her fingers through her hair that had my heart in my chest. She was flirting away with my guy and Sebastian didn’t do a thing to stop her.
“Don’t make a scene,” Dee hissed in my ear as we slowly made our way across the room toward him. Sebastian lifted his head and I watched him take in that I was really here and that I was heading straight toward him. “Remember that there’ll be an explanation for this, just don’t disregard him.”