Page 18 of The Hot Shot

I know the place. I’m not sure what time I’ll arrive but I’ll be there. I’m looking forward to it. - S.

I couldn’t bloody wait to see him. I felt the smile spread across my face and take over as I placed my cell into the top drawer of my desk before pulling my chair in. I just needed to get this work done and finish up as quickly as possible.

I tried to concentrate on the task at hand but it was proving to be harder than I thought. I heard the elevator ping, knowing that Jace had finally arrived to join me. I let out a long breath, trying to steady my composure while hoping he couldn’t see anything was off. I just couldn’t get tonight out of my mind and the last thing I wanted was a bombardment of questions. I glanced up at Jace as I heard him enter the room, cocking my head to the side as I pushed myself back from the desk, crossing my arms over my chest.

“I thought you could do with some brain food.” He lifted the bag up and the smell wafted in the air. Damn that smelt good. “I’ve got you a hot roast pork sandwich.”

“Apple sauce but no crackling?” I questioned, licking my lips, desperate to eat it. I never realized how hungry I was. “Pudding?”

“What do you take me for?” Jace asked in pure shock. “I love their chocolate cake.” He pointed to the logo on the bag and nodded as I chuckled. “They’re the best in the area.”

“Too right,” I replied, pointing to the desk in the corner. “Let’s eat over here and then crack on with this list. I want to get out of here at some point today and enjoy the rest of the day.”

“Me too,” Jace muttered. He began to unpack the bags and open each of the polystyrene packets so that the contents were on display.

I could guarantee though as I took a quick glance at the drawer of my desk and smirked at the messages on my cell from Walker, the reasons we both wanted to be out of here were completely different things.

CHAPTER FOURTEEN

WALKER

For the first time ever in my life I could actually admit to myself that I wanted to know more about a guy. Well, more than how quickly he could relieve the tension within my balls and leave my apartment. I wanted to know the little details like what made him click. What hobbies did he have? Did he have that family dynamic where you were constantly attached to each other and felt each other’s pain or could they pass each other on the street and not give a damn that they shared blood?

It even made me consider the unknown passions Sebastian had. The ones that he had never shared with another soul. Like did he have a passion for wearing tight women’s thongs? I wouldn’t care if he did, you know. Actually, it may be quite hot, especially a g-string running up that ass crack of his. Fuck! I couldn’t believe how hot that made me. I wonder if he’d be on board with that little fantasy.

If I’d put myself out there with another person, like I had Sebastian and have them tell me they were busy, I’d have questioned myself and possibly retreated from replying back. I’d have allowed them to suggest a time and place to meet up, thinking I was being too forward but with Sebastian my gut screamed it was all truth. He was busy working away but he was willing to come to me tonight. I wasn’t turning down that opportunity, even if it meant having to have the sexy guy on my turf and not be able to touch him.

I just had to warn Dee. I didn’t want her making a huge deal of this or worse still, outing Sebastian in the bar. I needed her discretion and I knew that she could be counted on for keeping her mouth shut when it counted. I kept debating whether to tell Sebastian that Dee was an employee of mine or not. The moment he walked in through those doors it would be game over but I couldn’t hide him away from her. She would know something was going on and the last thing I needed to do was to create a barrier between my best friend and I. Sebastian would understand when I explained the situation, especially after the way she was at the event with him when he first met her. I hoped so anyway.

“You seem lost in thought,” Dee said the moment she crashed through the doors to the bar and saw me leant against the wall with my cell clutched against my chest. She had caught me thinking about Sebastian and I’s exchange for a moment. “If I didn’t know better, I’d think you were bottling up, about to explode with some sort of news. It’s like you’ve finally taken that breath that you’d been holding on to.”

“Fancy taking a seat with me? I want to talk to you…” I started.

“Oooh, sounds ominous.” Dee flung her red styled curls over her shoulders before pinning them up on one side into a fancy roll. It was like she was trying to be a 1950’s pinup girl and she was determined to try and throw my mind into a spin of confusion. Dee loved to try as many styles in her hair as she could, just to confuse me on how she actually managed to create them but the joke was on her. I seemed to have figured out how she’d constructed this one and it took the tally up a notch, making me claw the gap between us a little. “I can’t deny that I love a bit of gossip.”

If it had been about anyone else but me, I would’ve chuckled but inside I was nervous. Dee was my best friend and my rock but for some unknown reason, I needed her to be comfortable with this. I wanted her to like Sebastian because otherwise I knew I’d struggle to ever allow myself to let my two worlds fully collide together. I knew that she’d always be truthful and honest with me, which is why I required her seal of approval with the guy. It’s why deep down I wanted to see how Sebastian would react to seeing her again; whether he’d run for the hills or trust that I would never compromise his position of being firmly inside the closet. It was yet to be decided. He’d either take the pair of us being together without an issue at all or no matter how messed up the guy made me; I’d have no choice but to let him go.

I didn’t even grab myself a drink or think to offer Dee one as I silently made my way back into the bar area and past the service hatch into the seating area. I pulled myself out a seat in the corner and began to silently chastise myself at why I was so nervous. Dee was the most compassionate and easy-going woman in the world, so why was I so scared?

“Are you going to just come out with what’s going on in that pretty head of yours or are you going to try and get me to guess what’s going on? I mean, I do like a game of charades but this…” Dee chuckled, trying to break the awkwardness that was currently choking the pair of us. “Walker, just talk to me. This isn’t like us.”

“I know. I’m nervous,” I admitted, wringing the cell between my hands before taking a deep gulp of breath and passing the cell to her. “Take a look and then be honest. If you think I’m an idiot or stupid or just—”

“Breathe,” she commanded as she unlocked my device without prompting me for the passcode. It was ingrained in her mind, just like a birthday or the PIN number of your credit card. “This is us. I’d be more concerned if you weren’t trying to tell me.”

That was true. I’d never been in a mess like this before, but Dee had. It was as if the tables had been turned and she’d seen that I just required her patience, rather than insistence to spill whatever was bothering me.

“It’s Sebastian,” I confessed.

“I can see that and from these…” She passed me back the phone before reaching for my hand, covering her own over the top. “It seems that someone may be infatuated and a little bit freaked out over the pace this is going?”

“I’m not,” I retorted, jumping to my feet in astonishment at Dee’s remark. “I just don’t know how to deal with this.”

“Exactly. You’re scared of the pace of the emotions that have overcome you, not the fact that you’re actually making plans for a future. Let me put it this way… The last guy before this—did you feel the need for me to know about him and make sure I was okay with the situation?” Dee questioned me with a smirk. The confident woman knew that she had me locked into a corner with what she had said. I’d never been forthcoming with information about a guy before, not until they were long gone out of the picture. They were always more a recollection of the night, much to her dismay. “He means something to you, so you want me to approve.”

I nodded. I was mute with my words but I knew she’d hit the point dead on as I sat there, trying to concoct together how to express everything that was swirling within me without sounding like I was already a lost cause. Dee’s opinion counted and I didn’t want her to think otherwise. I think I was just panicking that she was going to say that she thought I was being a reckless fool. It made me realize that in front of Dee for the first time ever, my confident attitude I’d always prided myself on had disintegrated for the first time ever. I’d allowed myself to let an inkling of doubt into my mind and rather than push it away, it has festered and made me uncertain. How had I not realized until now that Dee was the only one who could give me that strength and power back?

“He does,” I uttered, not realizing how good that admittance would feel finally coming from my lips. “And he’s not just an infatuation in my mind or an obsession for me to admire. For the first time, I actually want to get to know someone, even though we’d have a lot of barriers to get through.”

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