Page 16 of The Hot Shot

“Just leave it,” I choked out. Remmy swallowed harshly and dropped his hand so that I could pass. “I’ll be back on the stage in five minutes, so don’t worry about that.”

“I wasn’t…” Remmy shouted after me in concern.

I didn’t care. I had to get away from this corridor and get a quick breath of air before Sebastian walked out and these emotions tumbled out for him to see. I still had half a set left to do and I don’t know why I thought it was a clever idea to approach him now and then have to wait until the end of the performance.

Because you were losing your train of thought wondering if he’d still be here, I thought to myself.

I knew that Hardin was counting on me; Remmy and Kye, too. Screw that, a whole room was but if Sebastian had left through those front doors as I sang, I wouldn’t have hesitated blowing everything in the process—including the fact that he was in the closet. Which just showed how truly screwed I was with him.

* * *

Don’t ask me how but I somehow managed to get through the rest of the set without having a complete meltdown or letting my voice not crack from the strain I was under. Even Hardin was impressed and had told me to stay in touch, passing me his personal number as he did so. It felt like a win for the guys tonight but for me personally, I was deflated. I should have been ecstatic at having made such a huge connection and impressing a man like Hardin Poltin—knowing that he could maybe help with my dilemma with giving The Hot Shot a boost in the industry—but instead, I was lost in thinking how much of a fool I’d been. Why couldn’t I have just left it to fate? I had to have faith that if Sebastian wanted something more, he would make that move.

“What’s with the glum face?” Dee asked the moment I staggered through the entrance of the bar, just as she was about to lock up. “You look like someone has just rejected you and then kicked you in the nuts for good measure.” She laughed as I went around the bar and grabbed a bottle of vodka and a shot glass. “Oh shit, Walker. Tell me I’m wrong. What the fuck could have happened at a gig? Do you need me to go and fuck someone up?”

I held my hand up in the air to silence Dee. I knew she was just trying to be protective and look after me, but I really didn’t need to hear how I shouldn’t have messed with fate’s path. Seriously, I got it. I fucked up but Dee just rubbing that in my face wouldn’t make it any better. If anything, it would make me spiral into a pit of depression and gloom which would mean more shots of vodka and a cracking headache to deal with in the morning.

“I don’t need it, okay?” I poured myself a shot of the strong liquor and downed it before immediately pouring another and bringing it to my lips. “I need this.” I downed the second shot as Dee’s eyes widened in surprise. “I don’t need the sexy guy from the marketing event, and I don’t need fate—”

“Walker,” she said, cutting me off. “Is this about that Sebastian guy?” She tried to grab the bottle from my hand, but I wouldn’t loosen my grip on it at all. “He’s really got under your skin.”

“He was there tonight,” I murmured, pulling out my cell before daring to look at the screen, which I knew would still be empty of messages and calls. What was I thinking? That the guy would actually contact me? I threw back my head and looked up at the bar ceiling, frowning at the mess on the ceiling. It looked like some damn idiot had spiked a party popper judging by the splattered white paint that was sprinkled across the ceiling. Another job for me to fix that I couldn’t really afford to. “Fate decided to just bring the two of us together at the gig tonight and stupid me…” I chuckled. “Guess what I did…?”

“What?” Dee raised her brow, gripping the edge of the bar for support. I thought she’d bloody need it. I was an idiot after all.

“I barricaded him in the restroom, kissed the motherfucker like it was my last day on earth and then slipped him my phone number before I walked away.” I looked between the glass and the half empty bottle of vodka, debating whether to just say fuck it all and drink straight from the bottle when Dee snatched the damn thing away when my attention turned once again to my cell. “That’s mine—”

“No, actually, it’s mine. You’re drinking all the bar’s profits and we can’t have that,” Dee said, reprimanding me like a naughty child. “You are acting like you’ve committed a cardinal sin. I’d be more confused if you hadn’t given Sebastian your cell number. I mean, he’s all you’ve gone on about since you met the guy. It’s like he must have a magical dick or something.”

“I’m not talking about his cock with you, Dee. Those visions stay firmly locked away for when my hand and I need some one-on-one action, thank you very much,” I growled at her, fighting the urge to snarl through my teeth. What had come over me? I don’t hold any possession over the guy at all, but damn does he get me all hot and bothered. I couldn’t deny the way Sebastian had me obsessed with him from the moment I caught those piercing blue eyes and the way he bit that lip of his when he admitted he had never topped for anyone before. It wasn’t just any old plain, one night sex. It had been so intimate being face to face as I strung out every single expression of pure ecstasy from his body. He was mine and no one else was getting a glimpse or explanation of the guy in question. “He’s mine,” I whispered, dropping my head.

“Did you just say—?” Dee looked like she was about to bounce through the ceiling on her tiptoes with excitement at my declaration.

I slapped my hand across my face and groaned. You wouldn’t think that the woman had just done a full shift and also been up half the night with Kellan—her roommate—after accepting a last minute placement to support twin foster kids who’d turned up on their door with the social worker outside of working hours. It was what Dee did to give back to others, especially after what she’d experienced growing up with her neighbors and losing her best friend that way. It’s why I couldn’t understand the way Will treated her at times. No child deserved that type of treatment.

“Walker, are you sure this isn’t just a fling or a passing phase with you? Are you admitting that you want—scrap that—that you need more with Sebastian because you actually care?” She paused as she looked at me. |Walker Kennedy actually has feelings… I never thought I’d see the day.”

“Damn vodka.” I grabbed my cell and headed toward the side entrance. “Come on, let’s get back. You need to sleep and I need…” I groaned. “I need to sleep and think.”

“Dream more like and have sexy thoughts about a certain guy.”

“Yes… I mean no. Damn it Dee, out!” I directed her with my hand as I locked up the door, dropping the keys twice on the floor before Dee completed the task for me. “I can’t help it,” I admitted. “Okay?”

“I know. It’s hard when you lose someone you care about…” Dee smiled gently before falling into line by my side and matching my pace. “But you’ve done all you can now. Go home. You didn’t battle against fate so let’s hope that you took the right step towards getting your man.”

“Dee…” I scowled. “I…”

“I’ll leave it okay?” She flagged down a cab before giving the driver her address, followed by my own. “Just have faith, yeah.”

“I’ll try.” I said, climbing in beside her and shutting the back door closed.

“That’s all I ask,” Dee replied, squeezing my hand once before she turned toward the window, watching the bright lights pass us by as we sped past.

* * *

The moment I got myself into the house I stripped off my clothes, pulled back the covers and crawled into my bed after bypassing the shower through sheer exhaustion. I knew in the morning I’d need to strip the bedding off and throw it into the wash; not forgetting to force myself into the hot suds of a deep bath and allow my thoughts to drift away.

My thoughts drifted off to Sebastian as they had every night since he’d shared my bed with me. I reached for my cock and palmed the hard length, letting out a hiss at the sensation. I started to fuck my hand up and down, allowing the memories of the way his cupid bow lip curled upwards and the way his mouth parted slightly the moment my lips left his tonight. The way his blue sparkling eyes could take on the frozen ice of a statue.

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