“I know. That’s why I’m glad she did it. Some people deserve to die. I know that.” She glances over at me. “But I also know that something like that changes you, Kit.” There’s a note of finality to her words that makes me look my friend over.
“I know,” I tell her, because I do know it. I know exactly what happens to your soul after you kill someone. It’s not the same. It fractures and breaks, splinters like brittle glass under too much pressure. What does it say about me that I’ve managed to go on all these years?
That Mark’s death didn’t change me? Not entirely.
I still love and dream. I still have hope and get scared and when I wake up every morning and look at Grant and Rafe, my heart feels close to bursting. If those photos from my stalker hadn’t started popping up, I would have been blessedly and happily lost in the dream I’m living because like Alana said, sometimes people deserve to die.
Chapter Forty-One
RAFE
“What the fuck is the hold up?” I ask Holly. She’s finally showed her face after an hour of delays with filming. We should be wrapping up now and heading back to the house but it’s a no-go.
Holly clears her throat and looks down at the clipboard in her hands. “Some cameras are just not working. We think they got damaged in the move out here.”
I look at Grant. He’s pissed. He’s just hiding it better than me.
“We get it,” he says with a warm smile. “We’ll have to be leaving, though. You understand, don’t you?”
Holly’s eyes practically bulge out of her head because no is a word her peabrain doesn't understand.
“You can’t just go.”
“We can,” I say and follow Grant when he moves away and starts heading towards the parking lot.
“But the producers-” Holly starts and Grant cuts her off.
“We have a very delicate situation right now, Holly. We’re going home.” Grant pushes the door open and cool night air washes over us. It feels good after being on set. Even if we weren’t filming much today, the air on set gets oppressive sometimes. Today was one of those. Jasmine didn’t meet my eyes and I didn’t miss how she shied away from everyone on set. The only person that she goes near is Holly’s new assistant, Aubrey. It was fine though, considering the rest of the crew was giving her a wide berth, too.
No one wanted to be near the woman that threatened to kill someone. It’s a bad look normally but now? Now, it’s career suicide.
“Please, we have a twilight scene that we have to run through. It’s important while the weather holds,” Holly pleads her case but I point at the horizon that lights up with lightning.
“Looks like the weather is about to turn. You’ll get us the full day tomorrow. Tonight is a no-go with us having just moved. We all knew it was a risk with the timing of it,” I remind her.
Holly swears and throws her hands up. “I swear to god. This movie cannot be done fast enough.”
“Same,” I tell her. I only care about the movie as far as Kit does.
“Hey, we promise things will be better tomorrow,” Grant lies. He’s smoothing shit over, always the golden boy. I scowl and walk past him to the passenger side of the truck the dumb shit drove us in today.
“We’ll have Kit with us tomorrow and it’ll be no problem to stay late,” he adds and Holly sighs.
“Okay, that will be fine.”
“Hurry the fuck up,” I bark at Grant and slap my hand against the side of the truck. He clicks the lock on the car and ignores me while he chats with Holly for a minute longer. By the time he gets in the car there’s a smattering of raindrops starting to fall.
“Did you tell her to fuck off?” I ask.
“No, because Kit wouldn’t like that. Now, buckle the fuck up.”
I do what he says and keep my eyes on the rear view mirror as we exit the lot. People watch as we drive out. I see Jasmine’s telltale dark hair as she ducks out of the building and into the rain with Aubrey hot on her heels.
“That new assistant is sure warming up to Jasmine.”
“I noticed that too,” Grant says. He pulls out onto the highway and we settle into silence. It’s comfortable. Not the way it used to be when I’d count the seconds and the minutes until we were back with Kit. She used to be the only thing that made us work but there’s been a shift. We both love her but there’s a spark of that between us now, too. Or at least, that’s what it feels like on my side of things. I don’t know where I stand with Grant but he’s been softer than normal lately. That’s not something that he does for no reason.
I pull my phone out and check for texts from Kit. There’s only one in the group chat we have with her.