Page 85 of Holy Sinner

My hands curl into fists and I want to kill her. The knives tucked into my boots burn against my skin. I want to slam them right into this woman's skull. I take a step towards her, fully intending on smothering her with her own pillow when there’s a knock at the door. “I’m here for your pills, Dottie!” We turn to see a nurse with a rolling cart of pill cups organized by room. The nurse falters and looks at me in surprise.

“I didn’t know you had company.” She looks from me to Dottie and back again.

“She was a surprise,” Dottie murmurs and the woman nods and puts the pills on the bedside table beside Dottie. When she tries to hold them out to the other woman, Dottie pushes her hand away.

“I’m fine. I’ll take them after my company leaves.”

“Dottie…” the nurse’s voice trails off and she looks like she wants to push the issue but she doesn’t. Dottie waves her off.

“I just woke up. I think I can decide when I want to take my pills, Elise.”

Elise the nurse looks over at me again and then nods. “Sure thing, Dottie. I’ll be back to check on you in fifteen.”

“Thanks, Elise.”

The nurse leaves the room with her rolling cart and we’re alone again. I move forward again like I wanted to before. “You’re a fucking bitch. You should have never woken up.”

“And do you really think you know Grant? Do you know what kind of man he is? He’ll kill you, you know,” she says.

My blood turns cold at her words. “What are you talking about?”

She makes a slashing motion with her finger across her throat. “He tried to kill me,” Dottie whispers. The gleam in her eye challenges me to say it isn’t true, but I don’t. I won’t even bother, because I’m upset Grant didn’t succeed. What kind of fucking joke is this that she wakes up from a goddamn coma? “I’ll tell everyone what he did. Do you think you’re special and he isn’t going to try and kill you? If he got away with doing it to me, no one is going to think twice when it’s you. You’re lucky I woke up when I did.”

My gut twists. If Dottie leaves this place there’s no doubt in my mind that she’s going to point the finger at Grant. There’s no way I can let her leave.

“The world is better without you,” I tell her softly and clasp my hands behind me. “You know that, don’t you? Six years ago you went into a coma and you had some of you left but now what are you? A fucking corpse. You’re the living dead, Dottie.”

It’s when I’m close enough to Dottie to actually do something that the knives stop feeling like fire against my skin and I remember the scissors I took. The ordinary scissors that no one would think twice about seeing. I pull my sleeve down and take them out quickly, putting them behind my back because Dottie is so focused on my face.

“You don’t know shit. You’re young. You think you’re hot shit because you're beautiful and you have those men. You’re nobody. They’re going to kill you.”

“Young or not, I know more than enough to know you’re a monster,” I tell her as I swipe my sleeves along the scissors and pray it’s enough to muddle my fingerprints. “But you? You made a career out of taking advantage of people that couldn’t tell you no. Isn’t that right, Dottie?”

She shakes her head and sneers at me. The silk pajamas she’s in suddenly don’t look expensive. They’re cheap and tawdry. The kind of thing that’s more fit to be found in a spare rag drawer to wipe down counters than on a famous starlet.

“You’re going to die here, alone and forgotten. You think because you woke up everything is going to go back to normal? No, you’re going to be forgotten and you know what else? Rafe and Grant are going to tell. They’re going to tell everyone what you did to them. And when they do, so many others are going to tell the truth, too.”

Her eyes go wide and she looks frail. So small and dumb that I want to crush her under my heel and never look at this bitch again. Grant and Rafe were right. She’s trash. I haven’t talked to Rafe and Grant about this and I’m not going to. There won’t be a day in court. I just want her to think there will be. I want her scared and powerless.

When she is, she’ll do what I want her to.

“How does it feel to be forgotten? At least before, when you were in a coma, no one knew what you did. Once Grant and Rafe go public, you’re fucking dead.” We stare at each other for a long minute and I finally pull the scissors out from behind my back and set them on the side table next to her. I lean close to her and smile as I look her in the eyes. “You might as well make it final, right? If you don’t, I’m going to be there to see you fucking go up in flames. You never had them. They’re mine. You make them sick.”

Her eyes glisten with tears. It’s unexpected but I watch it. I take it in and commit it to memory. “That’s not true. They loved me. They wanted me.”

I see Grant’s face in my mind. The way he looked broken and the way Rafe’s eyes ice over and his voice sounds wrong when she comes up. She’s lying to herself. I hope she chokes on those lies, that they never get uttered to another person ever again.

“No, you’re filth. You don’t know what love is. They didn’t even want me here. You don’t deserve to take up my air but I came here, Dottie. I came here as a kindness to you. Your legacy means nothing, not once Grant and Rafe rip it apart. They own Hollywood right now. And who are you?” I pause and step closer until I’m standing over her. “You’re no one. A fucking washed up has-been the media is going to love ripping apart. You raped Rafe and you raped Grant. And I know you did it to more than just them. You’re going to die in court and I want you to know that I’m going to watch every second of it.”

“You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“I do. Seeing as my men are going to back up what I say, you’re fucked, Dottie. Do the world a favor and finally die.” I don’t miss the way her breath catches. I pause in the doorway and look back at her. “You know what to do, you worthless piece of shit. That is, unless you’re ready to watch what’s left of your legacy get ruined.”

Her eyes drop to the scissors on the bedside table and she takes them.“You can’t take my name from me. It's all I have. I won’t lose it.”

I don’t answer her. I leave the room before I see what she does with the scissors. I know as sure as anything that Dottie is going to do what I know she should. What we both know she should. I stride across the hallway and take care to stop by Aurora Smith’s room. I’m talking to her when the nurse assigned to Dottie Bee starts screaming for help.

“Dottie! No! Someone help me! ” The nurse screams and there’s a clatter but I know she’s too late. “Dottie!”

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