Page 78 of Falling in Love with Two

“Never tried it.”

“So, why are you—”

I cut him off, “What if I finally wanted to try it?”

“Have you been thinking about trying it?”

“Maybe!” I cry in a shrill voice. As I keep going, my voice cracks, and I feel myself about to cry. “It’s just not fair that now, if I wanted to try sushi, I can’t. Isn’t that the saddest thing you’ve ever heard?”

He stops what he’s doing and comes toward me. Grabbing my hands, he leads me to the couch. “Okay, I’m starting to think this isn’t just about the sushi. Why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

“I don’t like our baby!” I blurt.

“Huh?”

“That’s not what I mean. Well, it’s kind of what I mean. I just don’t…I don’t know. Do you know what I mean?”

The poor guy looks lost as fuck. “Leah, I need you to slow down a little.”

He encourages me to take a deep breath before continuing.

“Dylan, ever since I got pregnant, I’ve been waiting for something big to make me feel some sort of connection to the baby. Right now, it just feels like I’m sharing my body with some sort of alien who makes me sick all the time. I thought seeing the ultrasound would help me form a bond, but it didn’t. I guess I’m going to be a terrible mom because I clearly hate our baby.” The waterworks are now in full swing.

“Leah, baby, I don’t think you hate our baby.” He wipes off my cheek. “I think that what you’re feeling is normal. Right now, the baby doesn’t even look like a baby. You’ll eventually build a connection. If not now, then, when it’s born.”

“You…don’t…think…I’m…a…terrible…person?” I ask with a sniffle between each word.

He pulls me in and wraps his arms around me. “Not even a little bit.”

“You got so happy when you saw the ultrasound. Clearly, you have more of a bond with this baby than I do.”

He sinks to his knees on the floor and looks up at me. “Do you want to know why I was so excited?”

“Because you’re a better person than I am?”

He smiles. “No. For nine whole months, you get to carry our child. You’ll form a bond with them that I can’t understand. The ultrasound is a way that I feel like I’m a little bit closer. And I know right now, all of this is hard. You’re sick all the time, and your body doesn’t feel like your own. But it’ll get better.”

“And if it doesn’t?” I ask.

“Then, I’ll be here for you every step of the way, helping however I can.”

I look down at him. “You’re way too good for me.”

“Nope, I don’t think so.” He lifts up my shirt and talks to my belly. “And you, stop giving your mom a hard time.”

With a quick kiss, he pulls my shirt back down. “Now, let’s spend the rest of the day lounging on the couch, watching some movies, and eating some good food.”

“Now, you’re speaking my language, Scooby.”

twenty-five

A little Slap and Tickle

Dylan

One week later…

9 weeks pregnant.

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