Page 132 of Falling in Love with Two

Not wanting to wake her, I slowly tiptoe out of the room. When I go to close the door, it lets out a loud creak. Moments later, Beth starts crying.

Fuck.

I wait outside the bedroom, hoping she will self-soothe back to sleep. Based on my life, I shouldn’t be surprised that I’m not that lucky. Instead of lulling herself back to sleep, she starts wailing even louder.

Heading back into the room, I walk over and pick her up. I figured the crying would stop when she was in my arms. But she continues to cry.

“What’s wrong, little Beth?” I say while gently bouncing her. “Are you hungry?”

With her in my arms, I head to the kitchen and grab one of the bottles that Liz packed.

I try putting the tip of it into her mouth, but she immediately spits it out. Every time I try, she pushes it right back out with her tongue. Her face turns red as she gets more and more frustrated with me.

Maybe she has a full diaper.

To have lots of space, I take her in and lay her on our bed. Awkwardly, I take off her footy pajamas and then her diaper. I can’t even really tell if it’s wet or not. Just to be on the safe side, I grab a new one out of the bag and try to figure out which way it goes. As I try to position it underneath her, she starts peeing.

“Whoa!” I cry while trying to shield myself. It doesn’t work. She gets to pee all over my shirt.

Well, Dylan’s shirt.

I have to grab another diaper, and as I’m wiping her, she pees again.

“What the hell? I thought only boy babies did this!”

After going through yet another diaper, I finally manage to wrangle her into it. And then, we have another battle as I have to get her pajamas back on. She fights me the whole time and screams her head off.

When she’s dressed, I pick her back up and start trying to soothe her. I try bouncing. I try singing.

Nothing seems to be working. She’s still upset and listening to her cry is making me go a little crazy. I can’t even hear myself think.

What the hell am I supposed to do?

By the time Dylan comes home, I’m about to go out of my mind. Both Beth and I are crying.

I hand the baby off to him. “She won’t stop screaming,” I tell him. “I’ve changed her and tried to feed her. I sang. I bounced. I’ve tried everything!”

He takes Beth and says, “Everybody calm down. It’s going to be okay.”

Bouncing around a little, he talks and coos to the baby, and instantly, she calms down. It’s like he flips a switch, and the tears immediately stop.

“What the fuck?” I cry.

“Shh. You’ll wake her up,” he whispers.

“Again?”

“Hold on.” He walks into the other room to put her back down.

When he comes back, I’m sitting cross-legged on the couch with my head in my hands. He takes a seat next to me and rubs my back.

“What happened?”

“I went in to check on her after you left, and she was fine. But I made a noise, and she woke up screaming. I tried everything. She didn’t want to eat. She didn’t want to sleep. Oh, but she did pee all over me…twice. Who knew that little girls did that?”

He looks confused. “Did I know that little girls pee? Yes.”

“I know that! But who knew they could shoot it like that? By the way, it went all over one of your t-shirts.”

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