Page 58 of Falling in Love with Two

I consider just pretending I’m fine, but it suddenly occurs to me that Dylan is the only other person who I can talk to about this right now. Nobody else knows yet, and even when I’m ready to let the cat out of the bag, it’s not like I’ll have a lot of people to talk to. Dylan will be one of the only ones.

Water bottle still in hand, I get up off the couch and start doing laps around the coffee table.

“How am I? Well, let’s see…I have a job that doesn’t always have guaranteed income. Just taking care of myself is problematic. I managed to get a new apartment, but it’s scary. Scary as in I’m pretty sure someone died there, Dylan.”

Before he can say anything, I keep going. “And do you think I know the first thing about babies? Absolutely not. I don’t even think I’ve ever held a baby. All I know is that they drink milk…and poop a lot. And cry. Do you know how easily I get overstimulated? I’ll end up yelling at the baby! Dylan, our child will probably be terrified when it looks at me. My tattoos and overall demeanor will frighten it! I am unpleasant!”

I’m not sure how I went from zero to a hundred this quickly, but words are just falling out of my mouth at this point.

Dylan jumps off the couch and comes over to me. He sets his hands on my shoulders as he starts to talk.

“Okay, Leah, I need you to calm down. Come here.”

He leads me back to the couch.

“I wasn’t done ranting,” I tell him.

“You can get back to it in a minute,” he promises. As we sit down, he says, “First of all, I know you told me I didn’t have to be involved.” He points to my belly. “But that kid in there is half mine. There’s no way I can walk away.”

“Of course, not. You’re a boy scout,” I joke.

He rolls his eyes and smiles. “Maybe. But my point is that I’m here to go through all of this with you.”

“As nice as that is, Dylan, I’m the one who has to carry the child…and birth it.” I let out an involuntary shiver.

“Totally true. But I will do whatever I can to help. Let’s start with your living situation.”

I don’t say anything but instead, take a swig of water while waiting for him to continue.

“Why don’t you move in here?”

That makes me choke on the drink I just took. When I finish coughing, I say, “Come again?”

“Okay, before you freak, hear me out. I have extra bedrooms and tons of space. You wouldn’t have to live somewhere that you’re convinced that someone died. Plus, you think I’m a boy scout, so I’m not going to murder you or anything.”

He makes a fair point. I can’t say the same for neighbors at my apartment.

But moving in together seems insane, right?

“Dylan, that offer is so nice, but just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean that I’m ready to jump head-first into a relationship. I’m still a complete disaster—probably more so now.”

“Leah, you’re misunderstanding me. This isn’t some desperate attempt to get you back into my bed. This whole thing is bigger than you and I. There’s another person involved now. I’m not saying you move in, and we suddenly become a couple. You can have your own room—your own space. And when the baby comes, we can turn the other bedroom into a nursery.”

“You don’t think that would be a little weird?”

“Maybe.” He smiles. “But I think we’d make it work. I think it makes more sense in the grand scheme of things.”

I think for a minute. “How much would I pay in rent?”

“Nothing.”

I shake my head. “Nope. I don’t want anything for free.”

“While I appreciate the sentiment, hear me out. Doesn’t it make more sense to pay one mortgage and utilities rather than rent and two sets? We could put all that extra money toward the baby.”

“Dylan, I can’t live here without paying for anything.”

I can’t believe I’m considering this. A few days ago, I was convincing myself to stay away from Dylan because I needed to get my shit together. Now, moving in with him seems like it may be the best option for getting my shit together. It’s not just about me anymore. And the thought of bringing a baby into that apartment terrifies me.

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