Page 150 of Falling in Love with Two

She opens her mouth to speak, but I don’t give her a chance. “I think it’s about time someone held you accountable for your bullshit.”

She rolls her eyes. “Leah, language.”

“Oh, you haven’t heard anything yet. For years, I have made excuses for you. I have told myself that you went through a really hard time when Dad left, and when Larry came around, it was exactly what you always wanted. I defended you saying that I was a difficult child, but you know what? That’s crap.”

She crosses her arms over her chest, showing her contempt as I go on.

“I know you took it hard when Dad left, and times were tough. But I cherished those times because it felt like I really had my mom there by my side. When Larry came, all of that changed. You changed. Suddenly, I was second fiddle to him. You had a new man and were ready to make a new family. I was just some painful reminder of your old life. For years, I tried to empathize with you and understand, but now that I have a daughter, I understand even less.”

I avoid her gaze and pace as I talk. “I would move heaven and hell for my daughter. I would sacrifice my own happiness time and time again to be with her. If her dad suddenly decided to leave me, I wouldn’t take it out on her. My sole focus would be on that girl. I would never make her feel like she wasn’t enough. I will love her so fucking much.”

I feel emotion bubbling up inside me, but I force it back down. I don’t want my mother thinking that I’m anything other than seething mad.

“When I came here a few months ago, I was yearning for family. I wanted my daughter to know her grandma—the woman that I would have movie marathons with while eating popcorn and candy. The woman who would listen to me talk about the boys I had crushes on. The woman who would play Monopoly with me so much that the board was practically falling apart. I realize now that the woman I once knew is dead. And I don’t need my daughter around a woman who will just make her feel bad about herself. I dealt with that from you for far too long. I listened to your insults so much that I started to believe them. Maybe that’s why I let men treat me like shit for far too long. I thought I deserved it.”

She interrupts. “Are you going to blame me for every problem you’ve ever had?”

“No. Just the ones that you had a hand in causing. Mom, I left here when I was seventeen to get away from a bad situation, and I moved right into a new one. I felt like I wasn’t worthy of more than guys who treated me like garbage. I was just a degenerate, right? Who wants to love someone like that? It wasn’t until I found Dylan that I realized that I deserve better. And trust me when I say it took him forever to get that through my thick skull.”

I take a deep breath. “I understand that not all of my problems are because of you. But I’ve been waiting a long time to say these things to you, and I need to say them to get some closure. After this, you won’t see me again. I realize that I don’t need this family. I’m not welcome in it anyway. I have Dylan’s family, and in the few short months that I’ve known them, they’ve given me more love than you have in years. They will love my daughter the way she deserves to be loved. You’ll be the one who is missing out. But for the sake of closure, I hope that you are happy in your life with your husband and your two newer model daughters. I hope you treat them better than you treated me.”

I start to walk out. Although I feel like the bigger person, I feel the need to add something else. “And Mom…I want you to listen to me when I say this because I really mean it. From the bottom of my heart…I really want you to go fuck yourself.”

I head back to my car with her look of horror cemented in my mind.

Totally worth it.

The entire drive home, I blare my music and sing at the top of my lungs. Damn, that felt good.

Unlike last time I left, I’m not a crying mess. I feel liberated. And this time, it feels final. I have no intention of ever talking to that woman again. Just because they are blood doesn’t mean they are family.

I found my family in the Lawsons.

When I get home, I walk inside to find Suzanne sitting on the couch next to Ronnie.

“Ronnie!” I exclaim. “When did you get back into town?”

“Just a couple hours ago. I’m only here until tomorrow, but I had to make my baby rounds.”

I walk over and give her a one-armed hug while she holds Luna. She came into town a couple weeks after Luna was born, so this is their second time meeting.

Suzanne asks, “So, how did it go?”

“Great. I said everything I needed to say.”

“Do you think that she will come back around and change her ways?”

I take off my jacket and hang it up. “No, I don’t think she will ever do that. That’s not why I did it. I did it so that I could get some closure. To be honest, I don’t think I’ll ever see her again.”

“I’m sorry, sweetie. I wish it could have had a different outcome.”

“I don’t.” I pause for a second. “I have Dylan. I have Luna, and I have you guys. That’s enough for me.”

Luna starts getting restless in Ronnie’s arms as she wakes up.

Ronnie uncomfortably shifts in her seat. “Mom, the baby is making noise. And not a good noise.”

“Alright. Give her here.”

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