Page 149 of Falling in Love with Two

“Have I told you lately how much I love you? I promise that as soon as you are cleared by the doctor, I am going to return the favor?”

Luna starts crying from the other room.

Leah looks at me, “For now, I’ll settle on you changing her diaper, Lassie.”

“Deal.”

fifty-two

From the Bottom of my Heart

Leah

It’s been over a month since I’ve had Luna, and I’ve finally settled into motherhood. I’m still sleep-deprived, but at this point, I’m just pretty used to it.

My c-section scar has healed up nicely, and my sarcasm and wit are back to the high standards that they’ve always been.

And my attitude has returned full force.

That’s why I decided that today would be the day I go and tell my mom exactly how I feel about her. When I was pregnant, I was so sad, and my emotions were far more heightened than normal.

But now? The bitch is back. And she’s ready to say all the things she held back.

Do I wish that my mom was around for this experience? Absolutely. I want my little girl to know both of her grandmas, but the fact that my mom wants nothing to do with her or me pisses me off.

I should have given her hell the day I went over there, but my rage didn’t fully set in until I saw Luna and realized how much I loved her. Also when Suzanne stepped up to help us out immensely where my mom doesn’t even want any contact.

Well, guess what? She’s about to have some contact.

Thankfully, Suzanne came over to watch Luna for a little while so that I could go do this. When I told her what I was planning, I figured she would tell me that it wasn’t worth it, or that I should just let it go. But she didn’t do either of those things. She told me to go handle what I needed handled and to memorize her phone number in case I needed to call her to come bail me out of jail.

Why couldn’t I have had a mom like her? Back in the day, I thought my mom and I would have that type of relationship. Unfortunately, my mom was more concerned with finding a man to take care of her than she was being my mother. All those times that we had together that I thought were special meant absolutely nothing to her.

This all may seem completely out of the blue, but it’s been something I’ve been thinking about for weeks. For me, this is the last nail in the coffin of my old life. Sure, I still have my job, and I still have Amy.

But I’m done with the partying and the reckless decisions. I’m done sleeping on friends’ couches and trying to figure out how I’m going to pay bills. It’s not just me I have to worry about anymore. It’s Luna.

Most of all, I’m done with the toxic relationships. Finally, I found a good man—even though I certainly wasn’t looking for him, and I did almost everything I could to push him away. Through it all, he stayed. He let me come to him in my own time without pushing. It may have taken fear of me dying to tell him I loved him, but now that I’ve done it, I’ll never look back.

I pull into her driveway and take a few deep breaths to do the thing I should have done ages ago. I waste no more time getting out of the car. I’ve been fuming all the way over here, and I don’t want any of that rage to go away.

Stepping onto the porch, I bang on the door. It takes her so long to answer that I’m beginning to think that she’s not home, but finally, the door swings open.

The first time I showed up here, she looked shocked to see me. This time, she just looks annoyed.

“Hello, Leah. Why are you here?”

“Can I come in?”

“I don’t think that’s a good idea,” she replies while pursing her lips together.

“Well, I can say what I need to say out here, but it’s going to get loud. I doubt you want your neighbors to see all the skeletons from your closet scattered across your front yard.”

Reluctantly, she steps out of the way so that I can come barreling inside.

“Leah, what is this about?”

“You.” I point at her. “This is about you.”

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