Page 134 of Falling in Love with Two

“You’re going to play the baby card? Really?”

She stares a hole right through me.

“Okay, get the cookies,” I tell her. “Get even more cookies. We can have a charcuterie board of Oreos.”

She still doesn’t look thrilled with me, but her picking out a couple more flavors seems to help.

The past few weeks of us dating have been great. Having her next to me in bed every night has been wonderful, and I’ve been doing my best to make sure she’s doing okay. I can tell she’s getting uncomfortable, though—more uncomfortable than she has been.

Her feet swell, and she’s hot all the time. She snaps at me if I breathe too close to her. But I’m enjoying every moment of it, even the moments when she’s pissed at me because I know she won’t be pregnant for much longer.

We walk past the aisle of alcohol, and Leah looks at it and sighs. “Six more weeks until I can drink again.”

“Didn’t you say you were going to breastfeed?” I ask, not thinking the question may upset her.

But I was wrong.

“Can’t you just let me have my moment?” She snaps.

I now see what Jack went through with Liz. The pregnancy hormones have completely taken her over, and nice Leah has left the building.

She discovered a couple of stretch marks last night, and she spent an hour crying and then an hour yelling at me for ruining her body.

After that, she apologized and offered sex, but once we started to get into it, she decided she was too hot and uncomfortable and sex wasn’t on the menu. She fell asleep early, and I handled it myself.

Having a homemade porno on my phone of my girlfriend sucking my cock definitely has its perks. A few minutes of watching that while I jerk off was enough to get the job done and help me not go to bed with blue balls.

This third trimester has been a roller coaster ride, but we are making it through. Five weeks to go, and we will have a cute little baby. Over the next couple weeks, we are going to get the nursery ready and take some birthing classes.

We walk a little further in the store, and Leah gets distracted by a whole selection of snack cakes. I watch her as she stares at the assorted boxes and tries to pick which one she wants.

All of a sudden, she whips around and gasps, “Oh my God!”

“What’s wrong?”

She leans forward and whispers. “I’m pretty sure I just peed my pants.”

“Huh?”

“I think I just peed my pants! But I have no idea how. I just went to the bathroom ten minutes ago. I know my bladder is being pushed on, but this is ridiculous.”

It suddenly occurs to me that this probably isn’t because of her bladder. All those parenting audiobooks I listened to are paying off.

“Leah, I don’t think you peed your pants. I think your water just broke.”

Her eyes go wide. “No! That can’t be it! It’s too early!”

“You’re 35 weeks. It’s not unheard of to go into labor.”

I take her by the hand and lead her out of the store.

She looks back at the cart and says, “But my Oreos!”

“Baby, you can’t eat them right now anyway. It would just be a tease buying them and not being able to have them.”

I get her into my truck, and we start driving toward the hospital.

She says, “There’s no way I’m in labor, right?”

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