Page 102 of Falling in Love with Two

“Not quite.”

“Why not?”

“Because I don’t know that I should make any big decisions while I have all the pregnancy hormones.”

Looking confused, she speaks slowly. “But you’re having a baby together. Doesn’t that change things a little?”

“Amy, you know how my relationship track record goes. Every one I’ve been in has ended.”

She takes another drink. “You get that’s how it usually goes, right? All of your relationships end until you find the one you make it work with.”

“It doesn’t always work like that,” I defend.

“Leah, why don’t you tell me what’s really going on? Skip the bullshit.”

Avoiding her eyes, I reply, “Because I’m scared to mess things up.”

“What do you mean?”

“Let’s say Dylan and I give this thing a real shot. We try the whole relationship thing, and it all goes to hell in a handbasket. I don’t think I could survive going through that breakup…especially since it’s not just me that would get hurt. The baby would too.”

She nods. “I get what you’re saying, but stay with me here…what if you guys didn’t break up? What if it all works out?”

"As much as I would like to believe that, things that great don’t happen to me. And just because I’m pregnant doesn’t mean I’m going to get all sappy. Everyone close to me has left. I don’t get attached. It’s easier that way. Dylan and I still have our own space and sleep in our own beds. We fuck when we want but we don’t have some unhealthy attachment to each other. It’s best this way.”

I say it in a way that tells her I’m done with the topic, so she changes the subject as we start walking to our next stop.

We head inside the underwear store, and Amy walks right over to a rack of sexy bras.

“I don’t know if that’s what I’m going for,” I tell her when she holds up a lacy black one.

“This is totally your style.”

“Maybe that style is what got me knocked up.”

She walks back over to me. “Listen here, after you have the baby, you’re going to be wearing ugly nursing bras. Take advantage of looking sexy before then.”

She has a little bit of a point, but I don’t know if the belly is all that sexy.

Before waiting for me to reply, she finds a black see-through teddy and brings it back. “How about this? Imagine Dylan’s face when he sees you in this. He would lose his shit.”

“I don’t think so,” I tell her.

“Come on! At least, try it on!”

When I don’t respond, she adds, “Please, please, please!”

“Fine!” I cry, snatching the lingerie out of her hand.

I walk to the dressing room and put it on. When I look in the mirror, I can’t help but notice how great my tits look. Sure, I’ve got the pregnant belly, but the boobs distract from that.

Amy knocks on the door. “Leah, let me in.”

When I do, her eyes get big. “Whoa! Look at you!”

I turn toward the mirror once again. This is the first time in a very long time that I feel sexy. I feel pretty good about the way I look.

And I hope Dylan will too. Maybe I could wear it tonight.

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