Page 1 of Falling in Love with Two

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Babies are Goblins who Ruin your Boobs

Dylan

“Ican’t believe you actually fucking did it,” my sister Veronica says while walking around my new house.

“I know, right?” I reply. “It all still seems a little surreal to me.”

She walks over to me and pinches my cheek between her thumb and finger. “I’m just so stinkin’ proud of you.”

“Uh, thanks.”

“My baby brother is actually acting like a grown-up.”

“When are you going to stop referring to me as your baby brother?” I question.

Without hesitation, she replies, “Never.”

“Ronnie, I’m only two minutes younger than you…and a foot taller.”

She flashes me her pearly whites. “You’ll always be my baby brother to me.”

Pushing her long black hair behind her shoulder, she walks over to look at a picture on the wall. “The place really does look great. You have quite the eye for decorating.”

“I can’t take all the credit. Mom and Michelle came over and did most of it.”

Michelle is one of our older sisters. Ronnie and I may be twins, but we are in the middle of three other siblings. Liz is the oldest. Then, Michelle. And Jo is the only one younger than us. A whole seven years younger. She was the family surprise when our parents thought they were done having kids.

Ronnie walks over to her purse and pulls out a bottle of tequila. “How about we celebrate?”

“Really?” I ask. “Isn’t it a little early?”

She glances at the clock on the wall. “It’s after five, Dylan.”

“Alright, fine. But just a little. I’m going out later.” I quickly walk to the kitchen and grab a couple of glasses.

On the way, I hear Ronnie say, “Of course, you’re going out. It’s a Friday night. I’d expect nothing less.”

When I return, I say, “This is for a guy at work’s birthday. I’ve actually slowed down on the hookups.”

“Why?” she asks, genuinely confused.

My shoulders shrug as I pour a thumb of tequila into each glass. “I guess I’ve just been busy with the house and everything.”

“Thank God. I thought you were going to tell me you were ready to settle down or some shit.”

“Would that be such a bad thing?” I ask.

“Yes!” She cries in a shrill voice.

Truthfully, I’ve never thought about taking the next steps in life…until recently. Buying a house makes you think about the future. Living in that house alone makes you consider filling it up with a wife and kids.

But at this point, I’ve been doing the casual dating thing for so long that I don’t even know how to start looking for something more serious.

“Oh, calm down,” I tell her. “I’m not on my way to the chapel any time soon.”

She points a manicured finger at me. “You better not be.”

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