Page 25 of A Constant Christmas

“Those girls of yours are something special, Sammie.”

“Yeah, they have their moments,” Tyler says.

We spend the rest of our evening talking and laughing. My dad orders us pizza, and we eat while watching some show about home renovations. My dad and Tyler talk the whole time about renovations they want to do. I just sigh and listen knowing that neither one of them is going to do any of the things they are talking about.

When it’s getting late, we say goodnight and head down to the basement. I see not much has changed, and that’s exactly how I like it. Change and I don’t always get along.

Tyler and I crawl into bed and cuddle, but he doesn’t try to make a move. Neither of us does. Just feeling his warm body behind mine holding me close is enough to put me to sleep in mere minutes.

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The next morning, I wake up before Ty…as I always do. I make my way upstairs, and my dad is already awake and pouring himself a cup of coffee. When he sees me, he hands me his cup and reaches for another.

“Sammie, you’re up early.”

“The kids always have me up at the ass crack of dawn. Guess my body is just used to it…even when it’s supposed to be on vacation.”

He laughs. “Your mama used to make fun of me for the same thing. Even on my days off, I was up before the sun was.”

We both smile thinking of her.

“I still miss her all the time,” I say softly.

“Me too, baby girl. Every damn day. But over the years, it’s gotten a little easier I suppose. She wouldn’t want us all to be sad over her.”

He’s right. That’s never what she would have wanted.

“So, Sammie, you want to tell me if everything is alright?”

“What do you mean?” I say before taking a long sip of the black coffee.

“Well, Tyler calls me out of the blue a few days ago saying he needs to get you out of town for a while and wanted to know if you could stop off here for a couple of days. Of course, I said yes. I miss you both like crazy. But I can’t help but wonder if something is wrong.”

I sigh. “Oh, you know me, Daddy. Always trying to bite off more than I can chew. I was just trying to do too much. Trying to juggle motherhood, I sort of forgot how to be a wife…and a person for that matter. He planned this trip to remind me that being a mom isn’t everything. I mean yes, it’s amazing and rewarding, but it’s also draining and tiring at times. It’s been nice getting away for a few days.”

“So, what are you going to do when you get back?”

“What do you mean?”

“I mean as nice as this vacation is, it’s going to eventually come to an end. How are you going to keep from falling back into the same rut when you get home?”

I slump in my chair. “I haven’t really thought about it. I mean I don’t want to get back into the same routine. Tyler and I are doing so great right now, and I don’t want to go back to how we were. It’s not fair to either one of us. Do you have any bright ideas?” I ask with a hopeful smile.

“Sammie, the only thing I can tell you is that those babies of yours aren’t going to be babies forever. So, eat up every single moment with them. The laundry and dishes can wait. The house doesn’t always have to be spotless. Take time to just spend time with the girls and the baby, and take time to do things that give you some joy. Life is too short to not make yourself happy, kiddo.”

Setting my hand on top of his, I say, “I’m sorry I haven’t been home more.”

He waves his hand like he is swatting away my apology. “Oh, stop that. You have your own life, and I’m more proud of you than you will ever know. It doesn’t bother me.”

“But now that Jessie and Luke have moved out, I worry about you being lonely.”

“Nah. I’m not lonely. In fact, there’s something I want to talk to you about.”

I raise my eyebrows, waiting for him to continue while I sip my coffee.

“I’ve sort of been seeing someone.”

Now, I’m choking on the sip I just took.

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