Page 16 of A Constant Christmas

Chapter Thirteen

Sam

The next morning, I wake up with my head lying on Tyler’s chest. It takes me a moment to look around and remember where we are. When it clicks in my mind, I can’t help but smile.

Careful not to wake him, I slide out of bed as gently as I can and throw one of his t-shirts on. I slip out of the room and walk toward the bathroom down the hall. Our bedroom has one, but I want to let him sleep as long as he can.

After I get done in there, I head toward the kitchen to start up the coffee pot. There are few things better than drinking a hot cup of coffee while watching the cold world outside fill with snow.

It doesn’t take long for the pot to brew, and while it does, I enjoy the quiet. I don’t get a lot of this at home since most of the time, the kids are up before I am, and I usually pass out shortly after they do at night.

As I impatiently wait, I walk into the living room and grab some of the photo albums that line the bookshelves. I always love looking at these when we are here. There are so many memories from when Tyler and Tess were little, and they make me smile every time.

All of them are labeled with the dates of the few years that they span. I grab a few from when I know he and Tess were young, and I see a couple that are more recent that I grab as well.

As I walk back into the serene kitchen, I hear the beeping indicating the coffee is finished, so I pour a cup and have a seat at the table, angling myself so I can still see the beautiful landscape outside.

I open the ones from Tyler’s childhood and can’t help but laugh at the page I open up to. Tyler and Tess both dressed up as fairy princesses having a tea party. I have given him so much shit over these photos through the years. He swears that she forced him into it because she was a big mean bully. Secretly, I think he liked it.

He and Tess have always been close, only being 18 months apart. They also have two older twin siblings, but there’s about a ten year age gap, so they were never around much. Hell, they still aren’t around much. Tawna and Tristan both have their own lives in different parts of the country, so we don’t see them aside from super important occasions.

I look through the albums and am warmed inside looking at the cute little dimples my husband used to have and has now passed on to our kids. All three of them have those cute little make-you-want-to-say-yes-to-anything dimples.

When I get finished with the old albums, I begin to flip the pages of the more recent ones. Most of them are pictures of us and the kids. I guess Tyler’s mom has been keeping up on them the past few years.

Tears fill my eyes as I look at the pictures of the girls on the day they were born. They were so tiny, and I was convinced I was going to somehow break them. Then, there are pictures of their first steps. The first time we took them to the zoo. The first time they slept in their big girl beds.

Now, they are six and already so much more independent than I thought possible at this age. Abby is quiet and a bit introverted, but she has a heart of gold and is so smart that I’m convinced she will grow up to cure cancer. And Lilah is a force of nature through and through. She is always on the move, jumping, climbing, running. And she isn’t afraid to tell you what she thinks. The girl has no filter, but man, does she love hard.

They may look similar, but they couldn’t be more opposite.

Flipping the page, I see them both lying in bed together, curled up while holding hands. That’s the thing about our twins. No matter how different they are, they’re sisters above all else, and they have a bond that I’m never sure anyone else will ever quite understand.

“They’re really something, aren’t they?” Tyler’s voice behind me makes me jump out of my skin.

“Yeah, they are,” I say, turning around to look at him.

I can’t help but gawk at his bare abs and gray sweatpants. Is the man trying to turn me on again at seven o’clock in the morning?

“You okay?” He asks, walking over to fix his cup of coffee.

I nod. “It’s nice looking back and reminiscing. I had no idea your mom was making all these albums. I feel like a failure because I’ve been too busy to make anything aside from their baby books.”

“That’s why she makes them, babe. She knows as a mom, you’re probably too busy to do it, so she does it, and one day, she will just give them to you. Jacinda did that for her when Tess and I were younger. Now that she’s retired, I guess she has time to pay it forward.”

I smile at the mention of Jacinda. She was Tyler’s housekeeper when he and I started dating, and she had been he and Tess’s nanny when they were younger. But honestly, she was so much more than that. She was a part of our family, and I didn’t realize how big of a part until she moved out. For the past few years, she’s been back and forth from Mexico taking care of her sick mother.

“I miss Jacinda,” I whisper.

“Me too. She texted me the other day saying her mom is getting better though, so maybe we will get to see her again soon.”

Everything has changed so much, and I know it will be constantly changing from here on out. Our kids will keep growing and needing us less and less a little more every day. Both of us are growing older, and tomorrow will always be a little bit different than today.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks again.

“I’m sure. It’s just that I sometimes don’t see how much they’ve grown because it’s like we are just trying to get through the day-to-day, you know? they are growing so fast, and I don’t see how much until I look at these pictures. It just makes me a little sad, I guess.” I let out a sniffle, and Ty takes my hand in his.

“I know, baby.”

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