Page 49 of A Constant Reminder

Now, things were so different. My eyes glanced around the room and saw my things scattered about, occupying the same space as his. My clothes now filled part of the closet, my books lay on one nightstand, and my toiletries lined one side of the double sinks in the bathroom.

After the events of my troubled past, I never thought I’d be here with anyone, let alone the fine eye-candy that was Tyler Wendell.

He made me feel seen again. He made me feel loved. And despite my scars and nightmares being a constant reminder of James, Tyler was my constant reminder that life does get better. He was my constant reminder that the love we had would get us through anything.

My tears slowed as I just relished the warmth and comfort of being in his arms, his warm hard body intertwined with mine.

At that moment, I almost wished James could see us. Then, maybe he could see that I wasn’t broken anymore because of him. Maybe he could see the right way to love someone. Maybe he could see what a real man looked like.

I leaned up to kiss his scruffy cheek. “Can we just be lazy in bed all evening?”

Kissing the tip of my nose, he replied, “Anything for you, Kansas.”

My grin replaced my tears as I hopped out of bed. “I’m going to go get snacks”.

I ran downstairs to grab as much junk food as I could along with a couple of treats for Mason who was just waking up from a puppy nap.

A few minutes later, we were nestled up in bed with the lights dimmed and soft music playing in the background.

“Can I ask you something? You don’t have to answer if you don’t want to,” he said.

“Okay, shoot,” I replied while shoveling a handful of popcorn into my mouth.

“You said you and James dated for years before that night, right? Was he always such a monster? I mean what was it like to date him?” There wasn’t jealousy in his voice but sheer curiosity.

“I’ll answer, but first you have to tell me what it was like to date Marisol,” I quipped trying to buy myself a little time as I shoveled in more popcorn.

“Okay, that seems fair. Anything in particular you want to know?”

“Just what it was like when you two dated. Has to be a whole lot different than dating me.”

He chuckled. “Night and day, Kansas.”

“So, explain to me how it’s so different.”

We laid at opposite ends of the bed, so we were facing each other, and he took my feet and rubbed them as he began to speak.

“Dating Marisol was almost like dating two totally different women at the same time.”

My brow furrowed urging him to go on.

He continued. “When we were alone, she was laid back and a lot of fun. She’d walk around with her hair a mess and no make-up on. We’d talk and laugh and just enjoy being together.

“But then, we’d go out somewhere, and she’d put on the biggest show. Marisol not only had to be seen, she had to be the life of the party, half the time getting too drunk to stand up and flirting with every man in the room.

“Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t go all caveman on her for being a flirt. It’s just who she was, but it took its toll watching her give other guys so much attention.”

He paused a moment to readjust the pillows behind his back before continuing.

“We started fighting all the time because I hated living her double life. We weren’t the perfect couple she portrayed us to be, and I was tired of the bullshit front she tried to put on. So, we fought more…which led to both of us drinking more. We fell into the viscous cycle of fight, drink, fuck, repeat.”

I flinched slightly at the mention of him fucking her.

“Was it better than when we do it? The sex, I mean.” I didn’t know why I asked the question. I was positive I didn’t want to know the answer.

He smiled. “No, Kansas, it wasn’t better.”

I rolled my eyes unsure of his honesty.

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