Page 121 of The Rules of Dating a Younger Man

I gulped half my glass of wine. Caitlin kept talking, but I got tangled up in my own thoughts. After a minute, she paused and looked at me funny. “Is everything okay, Alex?”

“Of course. Why wouldn’t it be?”

She looked pointedly at the cutting board in front of me, where I was slicing a loaf of bread. “Because you usually cook the frozen garlic bread before you try to cut it.”

I looked down. No wonder it’s so damn hard to slice.

I shook my head and tried to laugh it off. But Caitlin was studying me now. It made me sweat, and I stood there like a deer in the headlights, unable to come up with anything to say—not a damn word. After a minute, she looked concerned, and I suddenly felt like a pot of boiling water whose lid was about to pop off. I couldn’t contain the secret anymore.

“I slept with Brayden,” I blurted. “I’m in love with him. And we want to give the relationship a try. I wanted to forget about him. I swear to God, I tried, Caitlin. But he’s impossible to forget. I know he’s way too young for me, and the entire situation is crazy, but he’s only the second man I’ve ever loved, and I’m so afraid to lose love again. Losing your father nearly killed me, and I didn’t think it would ever happen again, and I was okay with that until I met Brayden. But then…” Tears welled in my eyes. “Landon died, and Ryan is dead, and life is so short and…” I took a deep breath because I ran out of air. “And I don’t want to go on Jerry Springer. I’m so damn terrified I’m going to lose you.”

Caitlin rushed around the counter to my side, pulling me into a hug. “Oh my gosh. Who is Landon and who is Ryan? I’m so sorry they died. But you’re never going to lose me, Alex. You’re stuck with me forever.”

A week of pent-up emotions bubbled to the surface, and I started to cry. I wasn’t even sure what I was crying about. Guilt for loving someone other than Richard? Happiness that Caitlin said I won’t lose her? Grief over Landon’s death? Whatever the reason, I ugly cried in my daughter’s arms—shoulder-shaking, snot-sniveling, hysterical ugly crying.

“Oh, Mom, don’t be upset.” She pulled back and looked at me, pointing to the tears streaming down her face. “You’re making me cry. And you know how I get. My face is going to get all puffy and red, and I was going to surprise Justin with a booty call on the way home tonight.” Caitlin laughed as she wiped her cheeks, and together we sniffled our bawling back under control. “What the hell are we crying about anyway? The fact that we’re both in love and happy?”

I laughed through the last of my tears. “I have no damn idea.”

After a few more minutes, we both finally calmed. Caitlin held my shoulders. “Are we good? Because I’m pretty sure you’re burning something in the oven.”

I swiped a rogue tear from my cheek. “I can’t be. I forgot to turn it on earlier today, so dinner still has a while to go.”

Yet sure enough, smoke billowed from the oven behind us. I grabbed a hand towel and fanned it away as I turned the knob and opened the door. Inside, sitting directly next to the beautiful, half-raw roast was a folded-up piece of paper, now charred brown. I pulled it out.

“What in the world is that?” Caitlin asked.

I closed my eyes. “It’s my grocery list. I was looking all over for that this afternoon.”

***

“You ready?” Brayden squeezed my hand. The next night, we were parked outside the restaurant where we were meeting Justin and Caitlin for a double date.

“Not really.”

He cupped my cheeks and pulled me close. “Come here.”

I thought he was going to give me some words of wisdom or a pep talk. But his mouth went to my ear. “Spread your legs. I brought the vibrator, just in case you freaked out. We have ten minutes before we have to go inside.”

My jaw dropped open. “Are you joking?”

He took my hand and slipped it into his sports jacket. Sure enough, he had the vibrator in the inside pocket.

Brayden grinned and flipped the switch on. His jacket hummed to life.

“Are you out of your mind? We’re about to have dinner with Caitlin.”

“I know. That’s why I brought it. I wouldn’t have needed it for a quiet dinner with you and me. I can move the car around the corner if being in front of the restaurant freaks you out. Though the thought of secretly making you come right here while people are passing by turns me on like you wouldn’t believe.” He moved my hand from the inside of his vibrating pocket down to between his legs. The man had a full-blown hard-on.

So of course, that had to be the moment my daughter walked up. She bent and knocked on the car window, waving. Oh. My. God. My hand is on his dick! Now she was going to think I was the instigator of this mess. I growled at Brayden, who looked pretty damn amused, and yanked my hand away. “I’m going to kill you.”

“You’re going to have to survive dinner first.”

If Caitlin noticed what had been going on in the car, she didn’t show it. I had no choice but to force a big smile and open the door. Brayden took a minute to get out, and I suspected I knew why. I also noticed he stood partially behind me while Caitlin and I made the introductions. Serves the jackass right.

Surprisingly, the first few minutes weren’t as awkward as I’d expected. Inside, our table wasn’t ready yet, so we went to the bar for a drink. Brayden ordered some obscure liquor that I’d never heard of, and Justin said it was his favorite. That sent the two men into a long conversation, jumping from one subject to another like they were long-lost friends.

Caitlin and I stood to the side, watching. She sipped her wine and whispered, “If you guys wind up getting married, I hope you don’t mind if I don’t call him Dad. You know, because I used to call him Daddy.”

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