Page 103 of The Rules of Dating a Younger Man

She beamed. “I think we can.”

That was it. I was going to do it. There was no way I could back down now—because that would be fucking rude. My stomach was in knots as we hopped on the subway and headed toward her neighborhood. I tried to convince myself it was something I’d eaten, rather than my lingering uncertainty.

When she opened the door to her place, I realized Lacey had a tiny apartment. It was one of the smaller studios I’d seen in the City.

I looked around. “This is…”

“Small.” She laughed.

“How do you fit all your stuff?”

“I’m sort of forced into minimalism. My couch turns into a bed, and then there’s storage underneath.” She blushed. “Don’t worry. There’s plenty of room for two.”

“I wasn’t too concerned.” I laughed nervously, feeling like an inexperienced teenager. I didn’t even recognize myself right now. I was the same guy who’d fucked Alex into oblivion against a hotel room wall, and yet with my nerves right now, you’d think I hadn’t had sex in years.

I can do this.

It’ll be good for me.

I need to move on.

Before I could think any more, Lacey had wrapped her hands around my face and brought me in for a kiss. I opened my mouth and let her tongue in. She pressed her little body against mine. My heart began to race. She could probably feel it, and she would likely misinterpret the reason.

You’re doing this.

You can’t stop it now.

My heart beat even faster as she led me over to the couch and pulled me on top of her. I willed myself to kiss her faster, to feel more, to get into it. But the faster and deeper I kissed her, the more forced it felt. My body was tight, and everything was stiff—except my dick. She moved to sit on top of me.

How could I not be hard right now? I had a beautiful woman straddling me.

Then Lacey lifted her top over her head, revealing her black satin bra.

It felt like a virtual timer had been set. Past experience told me I didn’t have too much time before I’d be expected to stick my dick inside of this woman. And considering my dick seemed to be taking a break tonight, that was a problem. The larger problem, however, was the realization that even if somehow my dick were able to get hard, this didn’t feel right.

I shut my eyes, and all I could see was Alex. Her blond hair. Her eyes, filled with concern the last time I saw her—concern that perhaps I’d moved on and found someone else. That couldn’t have been further from the truth.

I sat up under Lacey. Panting, I swiped the back of my hand across my mouth. “I’m so sorry.”

“What’s wrong?”

“It’s not you. God, you’re beautiful, and smart, and charismatic…”

Her expression dampened as she figured out where this was going—nowhere.

“The problem is…I’m still in love with someone else. As much as I don’t want that to be true, it just is.” I paused. “I saw her this past weekend at the worksite, and it made me realize my feelings are as strong as they always were. She and I aren’t together, but I can’t shake her.” I looked into her eyes. “I thought I could move on with you tonight. I’m so sorry I can’t.”

Lacey’s expression was hard to read, a mix of sympathy and disgust. “I don’t know what to say, Brayden, except I’m glad you stopped things when you did. Because while I don’t mind sleeping with someone who’s getting over a breakup, wasting my time on someone who doesn’t even want me is a whole different story.” She sighed. “I hope you can get her back, if you can’t move on.”

I’m more likely to end up alone.

And that would be exactly what I deserved.

I stood and adjusted my shirt, shaking my head. “I must be crazy for walking away from you.”

She closed her eyes and bent her head back in frustration. This girl had already been hurt by her ex, and I’d hurt her again. I felt sick. Lacey deserved the world, but I wasn’t going to be the one to give it to her. So the sooner I got out of her sight, the better.

I left awkwardly and vowed never to do this again. I needed to be absolutely sure I wasn’t wasting someone’s time before I got involved. Walking down the street as I left her apartment, I’d never felt so alone. Not only did I not have Alex, I was incapable of making a connection with anyone else. I wanted to call someone, but it was late, and I didn’t want to disturb the kids by calling any of the guys.

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