Page 85 of When The Night Falls

‘I’m sorry,’ he replied, and his voice was a little louder now, but the tone of it penetrated my heart like a blade. He sounded so defeated.

Seeming to realise the absence of danger, Aaron bent and lifted his boxers from the floor. He put them on and reached for the door.

‘Aaron!’ I called impulsively. What was he doing? I wasn’t prepared for them to meet, especially like this; I didn’t want him to walk out wearing only his boxers when it would essentially mean rubbing our arrangement in William’s face.

‘What?’

‘What are you doing?’

He frowned. ‘I’m getting our clothes. They’re outside, remember? Feels weird to leave them there when we’re not alone.’ He unlocked the door and opened it. ‘Shit,’ he said, and I could tell from his profile that the view was chaotic.

‘I’m so sorry. It fell over as I came in,’ William said.

Seized by panic, I stormed out of bed and grabbed my nightgown from my desk chair. I wrapped myself in the black satin and rushed to the door to observe their encounter.

The coat stand had fallen over. I squeezed past Aaron and bent to help William clean up the mess.

‘I wasn’t aware you were coming,’ I said as I tossed Aaron’s shirt to him, and I hoped William heard the apology disguised within my statement.

Without looking at me, William grabbed the coat stand and lifted it up. ‘I arrived just now,’ he said. ‘Chelsea’s playing at half four, and I didn’t want to miss it even though Jason won’t be here till around five. I sent you a message, but I guess you haven’t seen it.’

I couldn’t hide my distress. I hadn’t checked my messages since this morning. I had been too distracted discussing the exam with Aaron as we went home.

‘I haven’t.’

‘So you’re Jason’s brother,’ Aaron said. ‘I suppose that also makes you Cara’s future boss. I’m Aaron.’ He extended his hand, but when William only stared at it, he quickly withdrew it, probably remembering that his fingers had been inside me mere minutes ago.

Aaron looked mortified, his eyes fleeting. ‘Sorry, I...’

‘I appreciate the gesture, anyway,’ William said gracefully. ‘And I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to interrupt.’

Aaron chuckled awkwardly. ‘No worries. Sorry you had to walk in on that.’ He looked at his watch. ‘Anyway, it’s past half four now.’ He lifted his gaze to William’s again, who was about three inches taller than him. ‘Don’t worry about this. Cara and I can clean up.’

‘Thanks, but I was raised to clean up my own mess.’

‘Right. Decent parenting. I’ll find the match on the TV for you, then. I’d like to see it too, as it happens. They’re playing against Liverpool, and that’s my team.’

‘Thanks.’

As soon as Aaron had disappeared around the corner, I searched for William’s eyes, but they eluded me.

‘I’m sorry,’ I said, but he didn’t reply. He merely reached for my beige coat, which had fallen to the floor along with the coat stand. We both froze when he lifted it. Underneath it lay the knickers I had worn today.

‘Fuck.’ I snatched them from the floor and tucked them into my palm.

‘I’m leaving,’ he said without looking at me and reached for the door. ‘I’ll tell Jason I went home instead.’

His decision struck me like a cannonball to the chest. A sharp breath escaped and I stared at him. I had obviously hurt him, and I hated myself for it.

‘I thought you wanted to be friends.’ I said it quietly so that Aaron wouldn’t hear. ‘Surely this shouldn’t matter if friendship is all you want?’

Finally, he met my eyes, and his crestfallen expression clawed viciously at my chest.

‘I thought I could manage it,’ he said. ‘But as soon as I heard you, as soon as I saw this’ – he gestured to my clothes on the floor – ‘I realised I can’t. It’s impossible, I’m sorry.’

Without further ado, he opened the door and left.

Trying to process what had just happened, I stared blankly at the door. He had actually heard us. My stomach churned, pushing the contents to my throat. I felt sick.

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