Page 52 of When The Night Falls

‘It’s the least I can do. I feel like you’ve been my acting psychologist for the past three years. About time I return the favour. Anyway, are you on your way here?’

I closed my eyes and stopped walking. ‘Fuck.’ I had completely forgotten that I was supposed to revise with her and Aaron today.

‘Yeah, Aaron’s here. Do you think you’ll be able to act normal?’

I briefly considered whether to go home instead, but I decided against it since Jason was likely to be there. His shift at the A&E department at the hospital didn’t start till two o’clock.

‘Well, it’s not like heading home would be any better. Honestly, between the two of them, Jason’s the one I’ll have the hardest time facing.’

‘Yeah, I get that. I wish there were something I could do.’

I sighed. ‘Thanks. I appreciate the sentiment. Anyway, I’m sure I’m just overreacting. It’s not like anything’s changed. Will and I aren’t going to have sex again. The only thing that’s different now is that I will inevitably be seeing him again, and that’s what’s messing with my head. I’ve never been in this situation before. I’ve never had to face Aaron while knowing I’m in touch with one of my previous bed partners, and I’ve definitely never had to face Jason while knowing I’ve fucked his brother.’

‘Yeah, that’s enough to mess with anyone’s head.’

‘Right? And you know, the worst part is that I feel like I’m keeping them in the dark about something when, really, it’s actually none of their business.’ I rubbed my forehead. ‘Gosh, listen to me. William has promised not to say anything, so there’s really no reason I should treat this as a problem.’

‘Again, Cara, your rationality astounds me. I wish I were half as level-headed as you.’

I released a mirthless laugh. ‘Honestly, I’m all talk and no trousers right now. Truth is I’m still all over the place.’

‘But the fact that you’re aware of that obviously means you’re slowly coming to terms with things. As you said, you’ve had quite a shock. Let it settle first. Once it subsides, I’m sure you’ll be able to go about your business as usual.’

Her words fuelled my motivation to get over this sooner rather than later. ‘You’re right. Of course I will.’

‘That’s the Cara I know and love.’

‘I don’t know what I’d do without you, Livy. Thanks for listening to my rant, and for existing.’

She laughed. ‘Right back at you, darling. I’ll see you in a bit, then.’

‘Yes.’

§ § §

I thought I deserved an Oscar for how well I handled facing Aaron. There was both a positive and a negative side to that, because while it enabled me to maintain harmony, it also meant I was a skilled liar. The latter wasn’t something I took pride in – I despised dishonesty – but I reminded myself that there was a difference between being honest and being open, and there was no need for me to be transparent, which meant being both. If I was confronted by either Aaron or Jason, I would tell the truth without hesitation, but to tell them unsolicited? I couldn’t see what good it would do other than relieving my conscience.

It was nearing nine o’clock when the three of us decided to leave the library. Olivia had stayed behind for longer than usual, and I suspected it was because she had wanted to help me carry the burden of entertaining Aaron after today’s events. She would never know how much I appreciated that.

By the time we parted ways, Aaron was still in a delightful mood. It was clear that he didn’t suspect a thing. I hoped I would handle facing Jason equally well, but part of me doubted it. There was something about my friendship with Jason that was completely unique, because I genuinely regarded him as a sibling. Total transparency was something I had practised in his company ever since we met. To look him in the eye, while knowing how his actual sibling performed in bed – as well as against the wall, or on the dining table – wasn’t something I looked forward to because of that. But I would have to, and I hated it. This was the first time ever that I was keeping something from him, and I prayed it would also be the last.

Slight panic grabbed hold of me when I unlocked the front door and discovered him right behind it. From his outfit, I could tell he had just come home from work.

He turned toward me, looking surprised. ‘You’re home late.’

‘Yeah. I was at the library with Aaron and Livy.’

He knelt to untie his shoes. ‘I see. Have you had dinner?’

I walked in. ‘Yeah. How was your shift at the hospital?’ I closed the door behind me.

‘Hectic, as usual.’

‘I can only imagine.’

Apprehensive, I scanned his body language for any sign of veiled anger or disappointment, but came up empty. He didn’t look like he had the slightest clue. Had William kept his promise?

All of a sudden, a knowing smile claimed his mouth. With a mischievous twinkle in his blue eyes – eyes that were insufferably similar to his brother’s – he met mine and stretched back up.

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