Page 172 of When The Night Falls

‘Right, you don’t have to say it. If you wanted to be with me, you would have said it by now, so just get out, Cara. Please.’

I shook my head, disbelieving of reality. It was evident that my obliviousness might have cost me one of my dearest friends, and I was terribly scared our friendship had been broken beyond repair. And to know that he had been in love with me this whole time – it made me question whether we had ever truly been friends at all. Had he always had an ulterior motive?

‘Cara’ – his voice had a pleading tone – ‘I don’t want to be mean, but I’d really appreciate it if you left. Looking at you right now is making me want to cling to you, and that’s not good for me in the long run. I’m running out of strength here.’

Sniffing, I stood up and went straight to the hall without looking at him. I couldn’t bring myself to say a single word. I was far too upset, and I worried it would just make me sob uncontrollably.

I put on my shoes and grabbed my bag. As I opened the door, I could feel his stare on my back, and it made me hesitate. Part of me hoped he would say something that could give me hope for a future reconciliation. But when several seconds had ticked by, I knew he wasn’t going to. Drying my face, I walked out and closed the door.

I moved slowly down the stairs, wondering if this was the last time I would descend them. He had said he would need some time to move on and that we shouldn’t be in touch for a while, but how long was that while going to be? Months? Years? What if, by the time he had moved on, he would feel no desire to rekindle our friendship? Would we inevitably drift apart in the wake of this? Would he become nothing but a cherished memory?

My heart brimmed with regret as I considered that. Whenever I had imagined my future, Aaron had always been part of it. Now I wasn’t so sure anymore.

I started bawling once I stepped out on the street, and I didn’t care that people could see it. Reaching into my bag, I grabbed my phone and called Olivia.

‘Hello?’ she answered.

‘L-Livy,’ I sobbed.

She took a sharp breath. ‘What’s happened? Are you crying?’

‘Y-yes.’

‘Why? Tell me what happened.’

‘I went to see Aaron a-and . . .’

She waited a few seconds before she prompted me. ‘Yes?’

‘He g-gave me an ultimatum.’

‘What? What sort of ultimatum?’

‘He said that we could either try an exclusive relationship, like a romantic one, or we couldn’t be friends for a while.’

She gasped. ‘What? You mean he basically confessed he’s got feelings for you?’

‘Y-yes!’

‘But I thought you said you’d talked about this recently!’

‘We did, but he essentially admitted he’d lied when we had that conversation. He said he was worried he would scare me away if he said anything else.’

‘Shit.’

‘I know!’

She paused. ‘Well, this isn’t your fault. He’s a grown man. He had a responsibility to tell you – there’s no way you could have known this.’

‘I don’t care whose fault it is – I don’t want to lose him as a friend!’

‘Oh, darling, I’m so sorry.’ Her voice quivered with sympathy. ‘Where are you now?’

‘I’m on my way home.’

‘Is Jason there?’

‘No, he’s with Stephen and Jon.’ I wiped my eyes and saw spots of black on my fingers. My mascara was probably all over my face at this point.

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