Page 10 of Ring My Bell

“Because there’s never anywhere to park by my building, and I’ll be damned if I have to help you get your car from the impound lot tomorrow.”

He sighed and leaned against me, smiling. “You’re so smart. That’s why you’re gonna do the music festival with me.”

Iggy was a talky drunk, apparently. Once he started, there was no stopping him. He went on about Raymond, about the Bremen Town festival in Illinois, about his career or lack thereof. A few times, I caught Paige giving us some very intense looks in the mirror. “We good?” I asked one such moment. They smiled and didn’t reply.

“Seriously, though,” Iggy insisted. “It would piss him off so much, and I read up on you, Mathis Reisner!”

There was that glance from Paige again.

“I know Raymond fucked you over royal. I didn’t know that was your song, by the bye. He just said it was from one of the studio writers.” Iggy sniffed. “I’m sorry!”

In the tiny Ford Fiesta, his wail was nearly earsplitting. “Stop up there at the corner store,” I directed Paige. “I’ll haul him up from here.” My place was right next door to the Quicky Mart, up three flights of metal stairs, a fire escape that had been, ahem, repurposed when some highly questionable cell phone stores and phone card vendors took over the front part of the building.

As I tried to wrestle Iggy from the backseat, he went floppy and was crying, sniffing loudly.

“Here,” Paige offered, getting out and coming around. “Let me help.”

I was too tired and annoyed to refuse. Between the two of us, we hauled him up the steps with minimal bruising and no deaths. Paige braced him while I got the door open; then we poured him into the apartment.

“Nice place,” Iggy sniffed. “Very early-century tenement. I mean that in a good way!”

Paige snorted but kept hold of Iggy’s arm as I wrangled him towards the bedroom. “I’m being nice,” I muttered at their raised brow. “And you’re getting one hell of a tip.”

They chuckled quietly. “This has been the most interesting ride I’ve had in months.”

Iggy gasped at the sight of my bed and wriggled free from our grasp. “Oh my god, this looks so comfy! I’ve been driving for like ten hours, and my back is killing me!” Without another word, he flung himself face-down onto my bed and sort of… melted… into it.

“Dude,” I groaned. “At least take your shoes off!”

Paige snorted, gently closing the door on their way out of my room.

I got Iggy’s heels off, then wrestled him out of his unseasonably warm pink faux-fur coat, got his sunglasses untangled from his hair and set on my nightstand, and pried off most of his jewelry. Then he started flailing at me in his sleep, and I gave it up for a bad job.

“Hey, Matty,” he mumbled as I tried to slip out, already wincing imagining how my back was going to feel after a night of sleeping on my spring-shot sofa.

“Mathis. Not Matty.”

“Kay. Look, just think ‘bout it, mmmkay? It’s a great plan.”

He was snoring before I shut the door.

* * *

Even with the bedroom door shut, I could hear Iggy, his deep, even, buzz saw-loud snores at odds with his delicate appearance. “Christ,” I muttered into the rough upholstery of the sofa. “If I put a pillow over his face, it’d be a service to humanity.” I stretched, feet pressing against the opposite arm of the sofa and making it creak. I tried to work the kinks out of my back and hips, giving it all up for a bad job after a moment or two of trying.

“So. Iggy, huh?”

The loud pop of gum made my head throb. I peered through my open eye. The blue-haired, excessively tall Uber driver from the night before was sitting on my kitchen counter. “Could you not?”

“Probably.” Pop.

“Why are you in my kitchen? Didn’t we leave you at the corner store?”

“Jem, the bouncer? Yeah, he’s my ex. He asked me to keep an eye on you guys because you were lookin’ rough as hell.” They slid to their feet and stuck out their hand. “Paige. Hey.”

I nodded. “Pardon me if I don’t,” I waved a hand in their direction. “But I’m kind of not sure if I need to call the cops, so I’m gonna be standoffish a minute.”

“Cool. So hey, you and your guy there, you weren’t exactly lowkey last night, so I know you’re pretty pissed at Raymond . Yeah?”

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