Page 90 of Bought and Broken

“Can I explain?”

“Yes.”

I hear a few things on the other side of the phone, like maybe he’s moving to another place. He could be at work and looking for a place where he won’t be disturbed.

“It happened a few times. The first time, we were really drunk at a party. It’s so shitty, but I didn’t realize it was her. It was probably the same on her end. The other times, it was a convenience thing. Right place, right time. Or wrong, I’m not sure yet. Anyway, we realized what we were doing was stupid because we didn’t want you to get upset. Summer really freaked out, actually. Nearly had a panic attack thinking you would never talk to her again. I told her you weren’t like that, though I swear she should have known that already since you are so close, but she was still upset. So, I told her I wouldn’t say anything, and I didn’t.”

Is it really that simple? Not some big elaborate plan to keep things from me? They weren’t sneaking around behind my back to get together?

“Thank you for telling me that, Dane. And as much as I understand why you did it, I wish you hadn’t. You know me better than that, and you should have done better to explain that to Summer. Hell, I thought she knew me better than that.”

“It was a rough time for her.”

I know she went through a rough time. She was a party animal. Summer did a lot of stupid things that she’s admitted she regrets. I wonder if this is one of them? But is it doing it, or lying about it?

“I do, but I can’t help but feel betrayed by both of you. You went behind my back and decided to keep something from me. My brother and best friend… do you know how that makes me feel?”

I hate how hard it is to get the words out. Just saying it out loud makes me want to cry.

“I can imagine… and I can’t begin to tell you how sorry I am.”

“Dane, my whole life, I’ve felt like people lie to me. You and dad are overboard protective, always doing everything you can to keep me safe. You talk to me like I’m a child, and usually I just let it go because I know it comes from a good place. But now… now I feel like you’ve been lying to me because you think I’m too stupid to know better.”

“What? No. Not at all,” he says firmly.

“It just feels intentional. Like… you’ve been telling these little white lies all our life to protect me, and I believed them—even though really, I was just appeasing you—so you felt you could get away with a big lie.”

“That is not how it was,” he says. “Not even close, Devon.”

“But to me, that’s what it seems like.”

“I don’t know how to change that, but it’s not true. I know you’re not stupid. In fact, you’re really fucking smart. And if I ever made you feel otherwise, I’m sorry for that too. I never meant to.”

It falls silent for a few seconds.

“Have you talked to Summer?” I change topics, not wanting to discuss all the ways he’s tried protecting me. That’ll be saved for another time—after I move.

“Not yet. I was hoping to talk to you first.”

“Why?”

“Because I can’t think clearly when you’re mad at me, Dev.”

I feel a little bad for that, but I don’t feel bad for being mad.

“What do you plan to do?”

“Demand that I’m in Astrid’s life. I mean, what the fuck? How could she keep this from me? From you?”

“I wish I knew. The only thing I came up with is that she was scared in the beginning, likely for the same reason she didn’t want to tell me you slept together. Then with each day that passed, it got harder and harder to tell you—and me.”

“That isn’t an acceptable excuse.”

“I agree with you… but look what happened. She told you, I found out, and I haven’t talked to her.”

“Her fear came true,” Dane says with a sharp breath. “Will you talk to her?”

“Not before you do. This is your time to step up, Dane. Talk to her. Figure things out. And you need to talk to Dad—he’s going to lose his shit. I’m not ready to talk to Summer yet, but if she asks, you can let her know I will when I can.”

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