Page 105 of Deck of Scarlets

Josh casually put an arm behind her, leaning into her ear. “Soon.”

I ground my teeth, trying my best to keep my cool. The waitress, Liz, finally came over and asked what kind of drinks we wanted.

Our menus were taken after ordering; we already knew what we wanted since it was a regular spot for Nickie, Jeremy, and me. To our surprise, Josh came here occasionally as well, which meant another menu off the table, leaving nothing to hide behind. Yet he kept his attention away, leaning his head against Nickie’s. I had no right to get mad or feel envious of their closeness. Josh clarified that it was a mistake and set the boundaries between us, whether I approved or not.

Liz returned with a tray of drinks, some straws, and a basket of bread and butter before attending to another table. Jeremy grabbed the first slice, buttering the crap out of his piece. “God, this bread is my favorite.”

“That’s why your ass is so big,” joked Nickie, grabbing a slice for herself.

I took a long sip of my Coke, keeping a composed face.

“So, Josh, have you slept with Nickie yet?” asked Jeremy in between bites of bread.

I choked, spewing my Coke all over the table, barely missing the breadbasket. Jeremy’s habit, or lack of table manners, never failed to appear at the wrong time.

Everyone began to wipe up the mess with brown napkins, including myself. “Sorry, guys.”

“It’s okay, girl. We can’t control Jeremy’s potty mouth,” said Nickie.

“You’re very direct, I must say,” Josh chuckled, dabbing the table with some napkins.

“I like to know my girls are happy,” Jeremy mused.

Nickie rolled her eyes. “And you’re super nosy.”

Jeremy gave her the middle finger with a sweet smile. “Only love, baby.”

Liz came at the right time to take the soaked napkins away, promising to return with more. “Your food is almost done,” she added before leaving again.

“Thank God. I’m starving,” said Jeremy, rubbing his stomach.

Josh perched his arm behind Nickie, only this time around her shoulders. “It’s been a while since I’ve been here.”

“Really? Why’d you stop?” asked Nickie.

“My extracurricular activities have been getting in the way,” he said.

“Oh, yeah, your band,” mentioned Jeremy.

“Yes, my band. We have a gig this Saturday night if you guys want to come. It’s at that new club, Arctic Sin.”

“I highly doubt your band is playing,” I blurted.

The table fell silent, and Josh finally turned to me, those fucking baby blues killing me softly.

“And how would you know,” Nickie inquired, and a perfectly sculpted eyebrow rose.

“Heard the place was shut down for maintenance,” I lied, downing the rest of my Coke.

Nickie waved my face away like it was nothing but nonsense. “I’m sure by Saturday it’ll be fine.”

Liz popped out from the employee-only door of the kitchen with another tray, baskets of our food steaming as she maneuvered through the restaurant to get to our table. We thanked her profusely and dug right into our meals, grateful for the silence as I chewed my food, or tried to. Nickie and Josh’s arms rubbed against each other, smiling whenever they bumped a little too hard into one another. Oblivious, Jeremy got on to the topic of music, quizzing Josh on his taste, fishing to see if it passed Jeremy’s test of a decent guy.

What I needed was space and a place to clear my head. “Excuse me, Jeremy. I need the bathroom.”

“Sure thing, chica,” he said, moving out of his seat to let me by.

Not daring to glance back, I found the bathroom, rushing over to the sink to splash my face with cold water. I let it trickle down my cheeks, on my neck, seeping into my shirt, praying it would ease the tension. My reflection, the girl who seemed unrecognizable yet familiar at the same time, never looked so lost. I touched the mirror, unsure what she wanted, what I wanted. Yet I knew, deep within, underneath the layers of being a shit person, fighting evil, and trying my best not to relapse with drinking, I had a choice to make, and it wouldn’t be easy.

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