Page 112 of The Longshot

He’s not coming.

He’s not coming because he got caught up with something. Or he’s not coming because maybe he had to stick around after the game for one of the guys. That’s got to be it. Because surely, he’s not not coming because he took Felicity up on her offer, right?

I’ve got to stop this torture. This relentless torture of replaying conversations, hyper fixating on photos, and toying with the idea that Gary isn’t who he says he is.

Maybe I should’ve known better.

Maybe I was right. I shouldn’t have jumped into another relationship right after leaving a toxic one.

Maybe I should’ve taken this time for myself like I knew I should’ve from the start…

I’m exhausting myself by the second, and it’s not just because of the relentless ‘should haves’ that pass through my mind. Regardless of how hard I try to convince myself that being with Gary wasn’t the right choice, I refuse to believe he was ever a mistake.

“Care for a dance?” Simon strides his way towards my table, extending out his hand for me to grasp as he gestures back onto the dance floor. “You like this song, don’t you, darling?”

I’m repulsed by his optimism. Does he really think that he’ll ever be so easily forgiven for me to ever accept his invitation? I’m convinced he thinks that we’ve got a chance of getting back together, which only leads me to another one of my conclusions about him—he’s delusional.

I will never look at Simon the way I once did, not only because I’ll never feel those feelings for him again, but because my once interpretation of love is nowhere near what it is now.

What Simon and I had wasn’t love. It never was. I know that now because love can only produce heartbreak. I wasn’t heartbroken over Simon, but now, with Gary not here, I can feel myself starting to fall apart.

“Get lost, Simon.” I’m sharp with my words as I turn my body so that I’m facing away from him. “You’ve done enough tonight.”

“Oh, c’mon, love.” Simon doesn’t pick up on the obvious hint that his company is far from welcome. “I had to tell you the truth. Now, no more sulking. Have a dance with me. Please.”

I swiftly turn back around, hair swaying over my shoulder. “Did you not hear what I said, Simon?” I stare him up and down in disgust. “Get away from me.”

After lingering for a second longer, Simon pulls his hand back and tucks it into his pocket. “You wanna play games with me, Chelsie?” he taunts with a scornful look of disdain. “Well, how about this then? If you don’t dance with me, I’ll go to your parents and tell them the truth. You know, the truth about where you’ve been all this time.”

I grind my teeth together as he tests me. There’s no way he would do this here. In front of everyone? Or would he? I can’t put anything past him anymore.

“Well then…” He turns on his heel. “You’ve made your choice. After all, they do say that honesty is the best gift?—”

I rise out of my seat before I even realize it, bringing him to a stop as the corners of his mouth curl into a sly smirk.

“Good choice.” Simon extends his hand out once more, gesturing again for me to take it. “Now, dance with me, darling. We’ve got some catching up to do, am I right?”

I refuse to accept his hand. Instead, I’m left staring at it, paralyzed in place, until he firmly grasps a hold of me and drags me out onto the dance floor.

Just the feeling of his skin on mine is enough for the world to tortuously slow down. Being with him makes me hardly feel like I’m myself. It’s an out-of-body experience, a sense of disassociation, one that I can only assume is a way to mask this pain.

Yet, even though I’m not mentally processing the way he wraps his arms around my waist and whispers sexually explicit remarks into my ear, I’m thinking. Wondering. Questioning. Is this how things are going to be forever?

Am I doomed and tormented by the same man I met at nineteen?

I don’t know. All I know is that I can’t understand a single word he’s saying. Hell, I can hardly hear him. All I can hear is his voice in my mind that tells me to stop fighting this.

“Don’t you know me by now? You know that I’ll always do what it takes. That I never, ever, give up.”

Simon is never going to let this go. He’s never going to let me go. Is this just how my life is supposed to pan out? A sick and cruel fate that the universe has decided to subject me to? How dare I be given a taste of heaven only to be thrown back into the hands of the devil.

What did I do to deserve this?

“We’re going to slow things down a little bit now,” the DJ announces, prompting Simon’s grasp to only tighten around my waist as the opening chords of a slow song echo throughout the venue.

Just up ahead, I can see Mum and Dad dancing, lost in each other's eyes as they sway back and forth. Not too far away from them is Ruby, who has seemingly found a partner of her own, twirling without a care, and finally, last and apparently least, me, with Simon, who’s ambitious enough not even to allow the song to reach the chorus before he’s decided to lean in for a kiss.

“I missed you, Chelsie.” I can feel his breath as it tickles against my lips. “Come back to me, darling,” he pleads. “Let’s start over?—”

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