Page 7 of Text You Up

I pressed myself against her backside, pushing her against the closed door. I didn’t know what to say. There wasn’t anything I could say that would make this situation better. So, like a weirdo, I just stood there pressed up against her body, against the closed door in silence, trying to soak up all that was Fionna. My fingers curled around her hand, and I inhaled a few deep breaths, memorizing the way she smelled, trying not to ever forget the way she wiggled beneath my touch.

“I don’t want to go.” My voice was just as crackly as hers was. Was it even emotionally possible to fall in love with someone after fourteen hours? I didn’t know, but it sure as fuck felt like it.

“I know. But sounds like Rodrigo might be the kind of boss to come looking for you.” Fionna moved her head and kissed my bottom lip. “The night was…unforgettable.”

Unforgettable. “Such an understatement, Fionna.”

Her lips brushed my jawline and cheek. “That was the best word I could come up with on short notice.”

My phone buzzed again. They were all ready to go. Packed up. Just waiting on me. We had a six-hour drive home. “I better go. Guys won’t let up.”

Fionna turned in my arms, facing me. Her eyes were so full of everything that was in my heart. At least that was what it felt like. She pulled my head down and devoured my lips much like she had been all night. I was instantly hard, wanting to take her again. And again. And again.

How could the best possible moments of my life also be the worst? I pulled away. “We can still stay in touch. This isn’t goodbye forever.”

It couldn’t be goodbye forever. Six hours away wasn’t that far. Not when we’d just drove halfway around the country in two weeks. But something inside me propelled me to pull my wallet out of my back pocket. Perhaps I didn’t fully believe in myself.

“What are you doing?” she asked.

I shuffled through my wallet, trying to find something that was important enough to me that would force myself to come back here and get it. Because I knew all too well about good intentions and how even with the best of them, life got in the way. “Here. Take this.”

She took the photograph and even still within reach, my heart ached like it did a million times a day at the loss. “Who is this?”

I swallowed. “My brother.”

Her eyes glossed over, and her thumb smoothed at the permanent crease along the edge of the picture near Donovan’s head. “Where is he?” she asked in the voice I was becoming to learn was her sad voice.

“He died. Car wreck.” I shrugged like my older brother hadn’t been my entire world. “I’ll be back for you and for that.”

My cab honked breaking the moment. I gave her a hard peck on the lips and walked out of her apartment without a backward glance. If I stayed a minute longer, I’d never leave.

Five

Fionna

I watched Dagger get into his waiting cab. I forced myself to stay where I was even though everything inside of me wanted to run after him. Throw myself in front of the taxi, beg him to stay.

Dramatic, yes.

But this thing between us was off the charts. I wanted Dagger mind, body, and soul. I wanted him in my life. Full-time. None of this part-time lover, long-distance bullshit. And I wasn’t even looking for a relationship! Not after the stupid boyfriends I’ve had. Dagger was incomparable to anyone I’ve ever met in my life.

He accepted me for who I was—just a small-town mountain girl that worked at a campground, enjoyed nipple rings and long nights making love. He didn’t care that I had a rich dad who was non-existent in my life or a sister who was an asshole. He didn’t tell me how I should put the bad stuff aside and treat them like family—forgive them. No, in fact, he too, called my sister an asshole and if that didn’t make my heart grow with love, I don’t know what would.

My eyes blurred with unshed tears.

The cab pulled away and I was pretty sure even my goldfish shed a tear. Blinking, I studied the photograph of Dag’s brother. Donovan Daniels. He had the same color of dark brown hair as Dagger. He even had the same shaped lips. Donovan’s eyes were a different shade of Dagger’s though and his cheek bones were much more pronounced.

I hated the obvious pain Dagger held about the death of his brother. The second he handed me the photograph; I knew there was something heartbreaking about the situation. How long ago had he passed?

Eventually I would text Dagger and ask all of this. But for now, I held the photograph to my chest, praying that Dagger would come back. He said he would, and I had no reason to not believe him. He wasn’t my ex.

I tucked the photo into an envelope and stuck it in my nightstand. I changed quickly and put my hiking boots on. Nature had a way of making me figure out my thoughts. It helped me see the bigger picture about my issues. It helped me break the barriers on how to fix things. In this case, though, distance between lovers wasn’t fixable.

Once I hit the trailhead of Blue Ridge, my phone buzzed with a text. Dagger. My heart swelled. Was he texting while driving? I opened the message.

Dagger: I’ve had a minute to think without you intoxicating my mind. You’re mine, Fionna. Your body. Your soul. All mine.

I giggled. His. The thought thrilled the hell out of me. Even with the broken trust from EJ, the lies he told me. The jabs he spewed about my weight. None of it mattered with Dag. It was as if EJ had never existed, and I was a brand-new butterfly experiencing love for the first time.

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