Page 29 of To Love Jason Thorn

They threw each other hostile glances asMarcus entered my room and Lucy got out. It wasn’t that Lucy hated Marcus as aperson—they’d actually been friends with each other longer than they had beenwith me—she just hated the fact that Marcus had dumped me because he thought Iwas spending too much time with the fictional characters I’d created in mymind. He never thought I would actually publish, let alone be successful on myfirst try as a writer. Honestly, neither had I, but that wasn’t the point.

Closing the door, he crossed his arms acrosshis chest and leaned back on the wall, watching me with silent eyes. When hedidn’t like something, he always did that. Always stared you down until yousquirmed in your seat before he actually opened his mouth to let you know whatwas wrong.

“Is this what you want to do with yourfuture, Liv?”

Oh and also, he never ever called me by myfull name. He found it ridiculous.

“What do you mean?”

“Char said you skipped a class today.”

“Yes,” I said slowly, wondering where hewas going with that. “I had a meeting.”

“Is that what’s important to you now?Hanging around movie stars and squealing with Lucy?”

“I know one movie star, Marcus, only one, andJason insisting on giving me a ride home isn’t exactly hanging around a bunchof movie stars. Like I said downstairs, I was seven years old when we met him, asa family, not just me. He was barely eleven twelve himself. He was like a secondbrother to me.”

I wondered how many times I would have tolie with a straight face before the day would end. But it wasn’t exactly a lie,was it? He did see me as his sister. It was me and my heart who had muddled thewaters in my own head, and all of that aside, I still cared what Marcus thoughtof me.

Despite what Lucy and Char thought, for theshort year we were together, I’d been all in with Marcus. He was intelligent,interested in me, confident in himself, and had a vision for his future—one Iwanted to be part of. Having a relationship with someone I already shared a housewith had been oddly exciting. And the sex? That was good too, especially whenwe were sneaking around Char and Lucy.

It had felt like we were right for eachother until he decided to slowly tear me down and mold me into something Iwasn’t ever going to be.

He quirked his brow. “Are you sure? Youdidn’t look like someone who had seen her long lost brother to me down there.”

“Why do you do this to me?” I asked,genuinely curious.

He tilted his head. “What do you mean?”

“Question my every move. Undermine mydecisions. Make me feel like I couldn’t possibly do anything right in youreyes. I published a book, Marcus. People are actually reading it. A lotof people are reading it. A fucking movie studio wants to option my book. Whycan’t you be happy with me? For me? Why are you bringing me down like this?”

“That’s not what I’m doing, Liv,” he said,coming to sit down next to me. He lifted his hand as if he was about to grip mythigh, but then let it rest on the bed, next to my knee. “You lost so muchweight while you were trying to write this book. Hell, sometimes you didn’teven have time to shower before your classes, let alone hang out with me. Ourrelationship ended because of this book, because you were more in lovewith your fictional characters than you were with me. Even when you are notwriting, you are lost in your dreams.”

“That’s not why it ended, Marcus. I’d beenwriting this book for years, long before you, but you already knew that. Whenwe started something, you knew how much it meant to me, finishing thisbook.”

“Maybe that’s what you want to believe, butit’s not what happened, Liv. I thought once you published, you would takethings easier, patch things up between us, but now I can see that it’s changingyou for the worse.”

Shocked, I responded, “I’ve skipped onesingle class. How could it possibly have changed me, Marcus? And even if I wasskipping classes left and right, you also know that I’m enough on top of my classesthat I’m graduating early.” Neither one of us said anything for a short time.Then I softened my voice and tried again. “Did I unknowingly do something thatwould make you think like this? If that’s the case, if I did something or saidsomething that hurt you, I’m sorry. No matter what happened between us, youknow I care about you.”

“I cared about you too, Livy.”

Past tense.

He rose from his seat and stopped by thedoor. “When you decide to come back to reality, I really hope it won’t bealready too late.”

“I’m sorry to hear you think like this,Marcus. Truly, I am.”

When I didn’t say what he was obviouslyexpecting me to say, he nodded curtly and left me alone in my room.

Feeling slightly angry at him for somehowmanaging to pull me down when I had every right to feel excited about myaccomplishment, I jumped out of my bed, pulled the drapes shut, and turned offthe lights.

When I was comfortably snuggled under mycovers, I closed my eyes and tried to ignore the fact that Marcus still hadenough power over me to get under my skin.

Soon enough, I fell into a fitful sleepwhere I was still a little girl who dreamed and wished for things she couldnever reach.

***

When a door slammed shut with enough forceto wake the dead, I startled awake with a gasp. Catching my breath, I had toblink a few times to get my bearings and realize that I was in Los Angeles andnot in my childhood home. Patting the bed in search of my phone, I gave up whenI couldn’t find it and instead got up to check on Lucy.

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