Every single person in the room I wassitting in had been more of a family to me than my own could ever be. Iappreciated the fact that I could see the concern in their eyes, their concernfor me. I never saw anything even close to it in my own mother’s eyes. Heralcohol meant more to her than her own son.
I slowly got up. “I should get back…home, Iguess.”
But I had never had a home, had I? This wasa home. The house across the street? Not so much.
Dylan and Logan got up with me, but Ilooked down at Mrs. Taylor. Her eyes were full of tears. She had the same shadeof green eyes as her daughter, just as striking as Olive’s. It was soothing tolook at.
I leaned down and, surprising myself,brushed a small kiss on her cheek.
“Please don’t cry, Emily. It’s okay. It’llbe okay.”
It sounded more like a question to my ears.
She slowly got up and brushed a tear away,my tear. I wasn’t even aware that I was crying. Her warm hand cupped my cheekand she stared right into my eyes. “Of course it will be okay, Jason. You haveus.”
I nodded.
Unexpectedly, I found myself in Dylan’sarms next. “I’m so sorry, man,” he said, holding on to me. I felt Emily’s handat my back, a soothing caress. Logan was standing next to us, watching over hisfamily.
I was family to them.
I’d earned that place among them.
***
“Are you sure you don’t want to stay hereand finish school with Dylan? I can talk to your dad again,” offered Logan.
The Taylor family was out on their frontlawn. Even little Olive had come out to say goodbye with tear-filled eyes. Ismiled at her. I could see sparkles in her eyes, sad sparkles maybe, butsparkles nonetheless. She was so full of life and had the most beautiful,captivating green eyes. So rich and alive. The kind that you looked at and letyourself happily drown in. I knew some idiot was bound to break her heart verysoon, but I wouldn’t be there to protect her heart right alongside her brother.I wouldn’t be with the people I considered my family.
Instead, I would be in Los Angeles livingin an unfamiliar house with a stranger I called Dad who I had never had thechance to get to know. For a quick second I wondered if he was blaming himselffor her death. He certainly hadn’t been there when his presence could’ve made adifference. Maybe the ending wouldn’t have changed, maybe a few years down wewould’ve still ended up in the same situation, but we would never know. It wastoo late for everything.
As for what I thought…I blamed life, andhim. He was the one who’d chosen to leave us behind when he could’ve been alawyer in San Francisco just as easily. He was the one who’d chosen to ignoremy mother’s quickly deteriorating mental health, or depression, whatever youwanted to call it. And then he’d been the one who’d ignored me when I said hiswife was becoming an alcoholic.
In the end, the choices they had made werechanging my life.
“He isn’t changing his mind. Believe me, Itried,” I said finally.
I shrugged. Everything had changed exceptmy dad’s decision: we were leaving. Or, more accurately, he was forcingme to leave everything behind.
Kicking at the grass under my foot, Istopped in front of Emily, the kindest, most caring human being. A mother whocould never be truly mine.
“I don’t know what to say,” I admitted,words burning in my chest as my eyes continued to look down at my sneakers.
“Jason?”
Warm, gentle hands cupped my face andlooked into my eyes.
“Do you remember what I said to you thefirst time we met?” She smiled, her eyes shining just like her daughter’s.“You’re always welcome here. That will never change. Los Angeles isn’t that faraway; I’m expecting you to come back whenever you want to or need to. Do youhear what I’m saying?”
“Yes.” I nodded. “I don’t know how to thankyou for everything you’ve done for me, for everything you’ve been for me.”
“I don’t need a thank you, Jason. Just makesure you come back to us.” She hesitated, only for half a second, then pulledme down and kissed my cheeks. “Make sure you take care of yourself.” One lastlook in my eyes, and she let me go.
I wished she wouldn’t.
“Son,” Logan said as he gave me a quick,unexpected hug. “You heard what Emily said, this is your home too. And youalways come back to your home. Don’t forget that. We will miss you.”
It seemed like I wasn’t capable of doinganything other than nod that day.