Page 9 of The Spy Who Ghosted Me

“Sabrina,” he sighed. “If you’d just let me apologize and explain what happened.”

I shook my head, knowing this was my moment to give him the speech I’d practiced for three years, in the calmest manner possible. Then I could let him go forever. I steadied myself before saying, “Cash, you are a coward, and that’s the last quality I want in a man. I’m just ashamed I worried so much about you after you disappeared, thinking you’d died or gotten injured because the man I thought I knew wouldn’t have hurt me the way you did. But you’re not the man I thought you were. You made me question for days, and sadly even for the last few years, what I’d done wrong to make you leave without even a goodbye—”

“You didn’t do anything wrong. It was ...,” he interrupted.

I held up my hand to silence him. I didn’t want to hear his excuses or lies. “You can’t say anything to make this right or to change my mind about you. I just want to thank you for showing me who you truly are—a ghost. And guess what? I don’t believe in ghosts. So, enjoy your vacation and stay away from me.” I let out a huge breath, feeling better after getting that off my chest.

Cash’s jaw tightened while the breaths he took in and out of his nose got louder and angrier.

Seriously? He was upset? How could he assume I would want anything to do with him after all this time, and after what he’d done to me? It only proved he really had done me a favor, even though it had hurt—like, the biggest ouch of my life. The truth was, I’d fallen in love with him. And even though I never got to say those words to him, he knew it and he ran from me.

When he did nothing other than stare, huffing like a raging bull, I simply said, “Goodbye.” Well, it wasn’t that simple, and the crack in my voice betrayed that. Yet I had to walk away, so that’s what I did, not caring about my luggage.

As I stepped onto the curb, Cash said, “Sabrina, you can think what you want about me, but be careful around Soren. I have a bad feeling about him.”

I stopped in my tracks, my back to him, another chill running through me. Cash might be a liar, but I had a sneaking suspicion he was telling the truth here. The thing about the truth was that it could be a double-edged sword. While it was a beautiful thing for some, others found it to be terrible. Others meaning Lexi.

Unfortunately, I didn’t have any solid proof that Soren wasn’t a good person, other than my sixth sense. But let’s be real—my sixth sense was obviously faulty, considering I’d once believed Cash to be a good guy. Yet I couldn’t shake the impression that there was something off about Soren. How could I prove that, though, before my sister married him?

I had a feeling this wedding was going to be way more than I bargained for.

Cash

“YOU’RE ON YOUR WAY TO a bridal shower?” Ivy laughed into the phone.

“I have to take whatever opportunity I can,” I responded, the leaves crunching beneath my feet on the walk to the lodge from my cabin. The sun had already set, and there was a chill in the October air.

“I take it your attempt to woo Sabrina isn’t going well?”

“That’s an understatement.” It still rankled me that Sabrina had called me a coward. I was no coward. After leaving her, I’d staved off the attempted assassination of the President of the United States and intercepted a huge shipment from China of chemicals used to make fentanyl, preventing them from getting to Mexico. There had been enough of those chemicals to dose half the world’s population. And I’d almost died during that operation. I was no coward. A jerk, yes, but no coward.

I should never have gotten involved with Sabrina, especially since I’d run into her by accident and used our first kiss as cover, thinking I was being followed. But there was just something about her and the kiss that grabbed ahold of me and made it so I couldn’t walk away. The agency had directed me to lie low for a few months in France, but Sabrina was never supposed to be part of that plan. Until ... she was. What better cover than to act as if I had a real life? I’d never meant to use her in that way, and I eased my conscience by telling myself it was just a European fling for her and another assignment for me. I rationalized that it was part of the greater good so I could ride another day and save the world. Little did I know that before our time was spent, I would have given the world to be with her, if only I could. Now here I was again, beholden to the oath I’d made to the agency to insinuate myself back into her life, knowing full well I was bound to hurt her. I hated myself for it. There was no easing my conscience this time.

“I’m sure you’ll figure out something, darling. I’ve seen you at work. Just be your charming self and use those powers of seduction I know you possess. She’ll eventually give in—they always do.”

I clenched my fist, holding my tongue. I hated that Ivy thought so little of Sabrina. Worse, I hated knowing how many women I’d used over the years to get the job done. “Yeah,” I grumbled. “Just keep a couple of agents nearby. I don’t like the way Izan looked at me or Sabrina.”

“You’re sure it’s him?”

“Yes.” There was no doubt in my mind that Soren was Izan.

“Do you think he suspects who you are?”

“I don’t think so, but something about him didn’t sit well with Sabrina, and he took note of her reaction.”

“And let me guess: you tried to play her hero.”

Unfortunately, I had. I’d done the wrong thing by going to her side. I just couldn’t stand by when I noted her discomfort, all the while knowing she had every reason to be concerned. But it was a rookie mistake. I’d let my feelings for Sabrina cloud my judgment. “Not exactly.” I refused to own up to my error—I needed to stay on this assignment. Seeing Izan near Sabrina was more of a sucker punch than I’d expected, and I wouldn’t rest until she was safe.

“You mustn’t let your personal feelings impede your judgment,” Ivy scolded.

“I got it,” I barked. “You just do your job, and I’ll do mine.” I needed to learn more about the comings and goings of Izan, and how and to whom he was selling the diamonds. The intelligence we’d gathered on him said he’d done a good job setting himself up to look legit to his fiancée and the outside world. His sock puppet accounts and website featured no photos of him, while painting the picture of a wealthy hedge fund manager and a man who cared about the environment and animals. All the while, he was the animal. The thing about animals is, they are unpredictable. That, more than anything, worried me. And it’s why, whether or not Sabrina liked it, I wasn’t letting her out of my sight, even if that meant going to a bridal shower.

“Don’t get snippy with me, love. I have the power to pull you off this assignment. Just remember that. Now, go have fun at your little bridal shower. Eat some cake for me.” She hung up.

Disgruntled, I shoved my phone in my pocket and marched my way across the lovely property, lit up only by the lights of guests’ cabins and the moon and stars above. For a moment, I was back in Iowa on Halloween night, walking through cornfields with dead stalks, wishing for a life where I could afford to stay in a place like this. Who knew what the cost would be? Only my life.

I shook off the depressing thoughts. There was a mission to accomplish, though I couldn’t have imagined it would involve a bridal shower. I’d never been to any kind of shower before and had no idea what to expect. I was only going now because Callie Belle had insisted I come, and Sabrina would be there. Apparently, they were breaking with tradition and inviting men to the festivities. This was all “Soren’s idea,” I was told. The guy was trying his best to look like the doting fiancé. He sure had his future bride and mother-in-law fooled, but I wasn’t so sure about Mercer Belle. He seemed to reserve judgment about the man his daughter was going to marry. Mercer also had some thoughts about me, judging by the keen way he stared at me after I brought in Sabrina’s luggage. No doubt he would consider me the worst sort of man, once Sabrina filled him in on our history. He wouldn’t be wrong.

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