Page 10 of The Spy Who Ghosted Me

The lodge glowed in the distance, all lit up and busy with guests arriving for dinner. I recalled Sabrina waxing almost poetic about the restaurant on the premises and the chef. Genevieve was her name, and she’d made Sabrina fall in love with food and baking. She was the one who’d encouraged her to apprentice in France and had secured her spot with the pastry chef. I wasn’t sure whether to thank or curse Genevieve. On one hand, Sabrina had breathed life into my soul. On the other hand, she had ensured I would be tortured for the rest of my existence, knowing what life could be like and how it felt to be utterly content. I would never know true happiness again. I couldn’t afford to, and I couldn’t imagine being happy without Sabrina in my life.

Apparently, from the grating cadence in her voice, Sabrina was also being tortured, as she unexpectedly called out behind me, “Why are you going to the lodge right now?” She strode toward me, carrying a gift bag and trying her best to watch her temper. She was a fall vision, wearing a rust-colored dress and cowboy boots, her gorgeous hair down in loose curls.

She clearly didn’t know that her mom had invited me to the bridal shower, so I gladly waited for her. Being away from her was making me anxious in ways I’d never experienced before. If I didn’t have hidden surveillance equipment and weapons in my cabin, I’d be trying to figure out some way for her to stay with me, as wonderfully torturous as that would be.

Sabrina landed in front of me, her demeanor demanding an explanation.

I smiled, knowing I was about to tick her off. “I’m headed to the bridal shower, same as you.”

Even in the dim light, I could see her gorgeous face explode into a red fireball. “Absolutely not. Who invited you?”

“Your mother,” I happily responded.

“Mama,” she groaned under her breath. “Well, as one of the bridesmaids, I’m uninviting you.”

“Sorry, I can’t disappoint your mother.” I smirked.

“Why? You’re so good at disappointing people.” She hit me with an emotional TKO punch. As painful as it was, I had to say I enjoyed this fiery side of her. Maybe I should have tried to anger her while we were in Bordeaux. I could only imagine how hot the making up would have been, considering that her even-natured side set my world on fire. I tried to shake those thoughts off, knowing I had to stay focused on my mission. But damn, it was hard.

I cleared my throat and dared to step closer to her, knowing her sweet floral scent would only make me crave her more. “You are, of course, right, but I’m trying to make amends.” If only I could.

She scoffed and stomped off. “You’re three years too late for that.”

I followed her, pangs of remorse assaulting me. It was a new feeling. My job required me not to acknowledge that emotion—the guilt would eat me alive. I had to push it down, knowing that in order to keep her safe I would need to do things in the coming days I’d regret, just like I regretted leaving her before without a trace. This time I would try to find a way for her to understand it wasn’t her fault. Maybe then I could ease my conscience.

“Sabrina, please, just let me have my say.”

She shook her head and kept on walking.

Screw it. I was just going to blurt it out. “I left because things were moving too fast and it scared me.” Damn it. That came out lame.

Sabrina laughed a mocking laugh. “You realize that’s what they all say? It was me, not you.”

“It was me. All me,” I assured her. “You were perfect. You are perfect,” I amended.

“Still not buying it,” she sang before spinning around and hitting me with her steely gaze. “Listen, I don’t know what you’re up to, but I’m going to figure it out.”

Hell, the last thing I needed was for her to figure me out. Not that I blamed her for wanting to try, but I’d counted on her being rational and, if anything, dismissive. To be fair, though, my sudden disappearance and reappearance were anything but rational.

Sabrina looked me up and down, her eyes taking their time. The way she licked her lips said she liked what she saw. She shut her eyes tight. “As I was saying,” she stammered. “After I figure out your game, I’m going to—”

“You’re going to what?” I stepped closer to her, leaning in until she opened her eyes, stunned into silence by how close we stood to each other. I took advantage of this and ran a finger down her creamy cheek. “Tell me what you’re going to do, Sabrina,” I whispered in her ear, breathing her in, all while hating myself for trying my best to seduce her, for lack of a better term. But I needed the in with her family to make my presence seem normal, and with any luck to get Izan to let his guard down around me. Not that I expected him to reveal his past, but he might say something that would give me a clue where the diamonds might be and whom he had dealings with.

Sabrina shivered and sighed.

“I thought about you all these years, and this place you told me so much about. I hoped being here would help me feel closer to you.” That statement, while true, was a miscalculation on my part.

She snapped out of her daze. “You know what would have made you feel closer to me? Not leaving me.” She curled her lips and said, “Ugh,” disgusted with me and maybe even herself for allowing me to infiltrate her space. Sabrina backed away, keeping her focus on me, trying to figure me out. I wished she wouldn’t. If she thought she hated me now, she’d abhor me if she knew who I really was and what things I’d done.

“Not that I wanted you to stay closer to me,” she added. “Because I didn’t,” she lied. “And I don’t now. So just keep your whispers and your fingers and especially your chemical cocktails to yourself.”

I tilted my head, confused. “Chemical cocktails?” Was she talking about bombs? What the hell had she found out already? I needed to get Ivy on this stat.

“You know what I’m talking about.”

“No, I don’t.” I was getting more nervous by the second.

She pointed at herself. “All the serotonin, dopamine, and oxytocin—we will be having none of that. Do you understand me?”

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