Page 57 of The Proximity Factor

“You are so lucky,” the other two girls lamented.

“Girls, Coach Landry and Coach Peterson are awesome. Besides, we are going to have so much fun at practice this year. You won’t care who you have for PE,” Lanie assured them.

Paige gave me a side glance, as if she wasn’t sure she should speak around me, but she braved it. “Oh my gosh. We can’t wait to tell you about all the homecoming drama. You have to talk to the committee. Their theme ideas are horrible. Western and Under the Sea are so overdone. We need, like, a Barbie theme or disco night. Retro is so in right now.”

Lanie laughed. “I’ll see what I can do.”

“Thanks, Miss Lanie. You’re the best.” Each girl hugged her before running off.

Lanie took my hand and sidled back up to me. “Do you want to come to the homecoming dance with me? You could be my Ken doll.”

I chuckled. “Not a chance.” There are a lot of things I would do for Lanie, but that wasn’t one of them. “I should clarify—I will go to the dance with you, but not as a Barbie doll’s boy toy. Would chaperone work? I don’t know how to dance,” I admitted, even though it was making me sound older and older.

That didn’t deter Lanie. “Ooh, sounds like we have some private dance lessons in our future.”

I liked the sound of that. At least being in private and up close with Lanie. “I’m amenable.”

“Good. Now you have to answer my question. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?”

I was hoping she would forget. Because I didn’t want to admit it to her. I took a moment to gather my thoughts while I stared at the statue of the Goldenville forefathers Lanie had helped raise funds for. She truly was a force to be reckoned with. I wanted that force in my life, and I was afraid of how she would take my admission.

I let out a heavy breath into the sultry air. “The scariest thing I’ve done was to propose to Maren.” I sighed. “After my parents’ terrible marriage, I had to wonder why I would think marriage was a good idea. Although it scared me, I think I wanted to prove I could be better,” I explained.

“And you loved her,” Lanie tossed out there.

“Yeah. I did,” I hesitated to say, like it was betraying my feelings for Lanie.

“It’s okay for you to admit that. I saw pictures of you two online. You looked really happy.” She sounded both hopeful and sad.

It was no surprise Lanie had delved into my past. It was a smart thing for her to do, especially considering our living situation. But it made me uneasy. I thought back to that time in my life. It seemed like a hundred years ago. Sometimes I even forgot about it because it didn’t seem like it could have possibly happened. There was no trace left of that time. But I had been happy. Maren and I had been happy together, almost blissfully so.

“We were,” I admitted. “I felt like I was a real man. A better man than my father.”

“You still are.”

“Thank you for saying that, Lanie.”

“I mean it.”

I knew she did, and I appreciated it more than she could possibly know.

“So ...” She nibbled on her lip. “Would you consider getting married again, knowing how scary it could be?”

We paused in front of the town square fountain surrounded by dozens of brightly colored impatiens. Some of the children were trying to take a dip in it while parents frantically tried to prevent them. A few splashes of cool water landed on us. It felt refreshing in the warm air. Lanie’s imploring gaze made me feel even more heated.

I reached up and tucked a tendril of Lanie’s silky hair behind her ear. “I wouldn’t date you if I didn’t feel like it was a possibility. You’re not the kind of woman who treats relationships casually. I know that. With that said, it scares me more now than before, knowing how epically I failed last time.”

Lanie pulled our clasped hands up to her chest. “You didn’t fail—Maren failed you. There’s a big difference. I’m not saying you were perfect. I’m sure you weren’t.” The corners of her lips twitched. “No one is. But you didn’t give up on her. She gave up on you. That’s an awful thing to do to someone you love.”

I leaned in and brushed Lanie’s velvety pink lips. “How do you always know how to make me feel better about myself?”

“It’s easy. You’re so much better than you give yourself credit for.”

I worried I wasn’t as good as she deserved. “Promise me you’ll look closely.” I needed her to know what she was signing up for: an opinionated, sometimes grouchy guy nearing forty who didn’t follow the latest trends unless it had to do with gaming or technology. I would never be the guy who dressed up like a Ken doll or shopped at Lululemon. Lanie had informed me what that was, by the way.

“I’ll look as deep as you’ll let me.” It was a plea and a challenge for me to let her in.

I was trying to. I nodded, hearing her loud and clear. “Now it’s your turn. What’s the scariest thing you’ve ever done?”

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