Page 24 of The Proximity Factor

It was to me.

To thank Parker, I’d made him whole-grain blueberry pancakes with real maple syrup and freshly squeezed orange juice for breakfast. I caught him sighing a few times while he shoveled the food in his mouth, but I didn’t mention it. I could tell he was wary around me. He sat as far away from me as possible on the couch last night when we’d watched the movie. And he was hypervigilant that we never reached for the popcorn at the same time.

I wasn’t sure what he thought would happen if we accidentally touched hands. Obviously, neither of us were interested in the other romantically. Maybe, though, he’d felt the same weird connection as I had when we hugged. Probably not. Besides, I was just emotional last night, so whatever zing I’d felt didn’t count. Neither did the way I couldn’t help but stare at him and his delectable morning stubble as he sat across from me at the kitchen table. There was just something about a man when he first woke up with his hair all tousled and his face was rough with scruff. Not sure why it was so appealing, but I didn’t make the rules of attraction. I only abided by them.

It was probably a good thing Parker hid in his room for the remainder of the day. No need to push the laws of attraction, especially since we had eight weeks left.

I was just about ready to download the new questionnaire and click record when my phone buzzed. It was weird, but I swore the buzzing sounded angry. I knew it was Mama before I even looked at the display. My entire body tensed, bracing myself before I answered it. No doubt the cat was out of the bag. Of course, I’d already told Val about what had happened. She was ready to call in all the troops—Army, Navy, Air Force, Marines, and our sorority, which was probably the fiercest force around. But I begged her to hold off. I’d hoped against all hope Greg would keep his mouth shut for at least a few days. You know, while he packed his bags and sneaked out of town, never to be heard from again.

Before I could answer Mama’s call, Val texted.

Val: Mayday! Mayday! Your mama knows you’re living with a man. Actually, the entire town knows. The tongues are wagging so hard, saliva is lining the streets.

That was a disgusting visual.

Val: There is a silver lining, though. Greg is toast. Like burnt toast. Your mama and Miss Allison excoriated him with hellfire. Word on the street is he’s resigning and leaving town.

At least that was good news. The other news, not so much.

With the trepidiest of trepidations, I answered the phone. “Hi, Mama,” I sang extra cheerfully.

“Lanie Jane,” her voice shook. “I don’t know what you’ve been getting up to this last month, but you best come home tomorrow and bring this Parker character with you. End. Of. Story.” She hung up, not letting me get a word in.

Even though I knew it was coming, it still had me tied in knots. I’d lied to Mama and almost everyone I loved. I had noble reasons for doing so, but I was pretty sure Mama wouldn’t see it that way. The defiant part of me wanted to disregard her request. I mean, I was twenty-eight years old. If I wanted to live with a man, I could, whether it be platonically or romantically. But I knew that if I didn’t go there, she would come here. Not even the witness protection program could keep me or Parker from Mama. The question was, how was I going to convince Parker to come with me? I would worry about it after I finished doing my video diary. That was if I could concentrate on it.

Sighing, I downloaded the questionnaire and clicked record, glad for once there were some repeat questions. It would make it easier just to get through it.

“Question one: Did you spend more or less time with Parker this week than the previous week? It might surprise you to hear me say this after last week, but more. Yeah, weird, right? Well, it’s going to get weirder,” I promised the researchers.

“Question two: If there was a change in the amount of time, either more or less, please tell us why.” I guess we were going to get to the strange part right away. “Soooo, uh, you see, I have an ex-boyfriend, who I thought was totally sane, albeit a jerk for dumping me because I wasn’t smart enough for him. I think I might have mentioned him to you before, but these diary things are becoming a tedious blur. But that doesn’t answer your question.”

“So, said ex showed up last night at the house. Oh, before I forget, could y’all install something like a Ring doorbell camera or something here? I’m just saying it would really come in handy. Anyway, back to Greg. He showed up and acted psycho, begging me to take him back, and kind of forced his way into the house. I was going to kick his booty, but Parker showed up before I could. Let me just say, the man makes a good Batman—the Christian Bale version, not the Ben Affleck one. Don’t get me wrong, I like Ben, except for when he dumped Jennifer Garner—then I despised him. But he wasn’t a great Batman or husband, apparently. Anyhoo, I digress once again.”

“The nutshell version of the story is, Parker came to my rescue, and then we watched a movie and ate delicious popcorn together and kinda sorta talked. It’s not really his strong suit, but I’m working on it. The man is pretty skittish with me.” I giggled, even though I was freaking out inside wondering what Mama and everyone in Goldenville thought. “But his sister seems to like me. We’re becoming like social media pen pals. I say this just in case you ask if I’ve met more of his family or friends. Y’all are nosy like that. She seems like a great woman. She sure loves her brother.”

“Moving on. Question three: Do you feel like any of the barriers you’ve previously reported between you and Parker have been removed? Have any additional barriers arisen? Please explain.” I had to think for a moment. The only barrier I had reported was Parker. “I imagine from my previous two answers you would think the barriers have come down, and I guess they sort of have, but Parker is one tough nut to crack. Not sure why I still want to crack his nuts. Wait—” I giggled. “That didn’t come out right, even though I’ve definitely thought about doing just that. It’s a complicated answer. Yes, Parker was willing to come to my rescue, but I can tell being around me is hard for him. Something about me makes him cautious. Not sure what he’s afraid will happen if we become friends, but he’s definitely fighting it.”

“Question four: What does intimacy look like for you?” I rolled my eyes. “I see what you’re doing here, trying to change up the intimate question. Still not sure why y’all are so hung up on it. But if you must know, intimacy for me looks like cuddling on the couch and not having to say a word because you just feel this deep and abiding connection. It means being there for all the big and little things. I don’t know how to explain it all, but it’s like being free to be the most vulnerable you’ve ever been, and letting go of fear because you know that person loves every part of you, even the not-so-good parts.”

I sighed, wishing for such a relationship.

“Question five: Have you ever experienced what you described in question four? Wow. Y’all really are nosy.” I thought about all my past relationships. A few times I’d even thought myself in love. Unfortunately, Greg was one of those times. Sadly, I don’t think I’d ever experienced true intimacy. At least not the kind I described before. Sure, I’d felt a connection to every man I’d seriously dated, and I did my best to show up for all the big and little things in their lives. Some had even reciprocated the gestures. But ... as far as being completely vulnerable, I couldn’t say I’d ever been with someone who had given me that opportunity. “Mostly no,” I responded simply.

Now I felt depressed. The next question didn’t make me feel any better.

“Question six: If you answered yes above, did Parker play any role?” I blew out so much air, I probably changed the migratory patterns of the nearby birds. These researchers had some major hang-ups. And I wasn’t sure how to answer. I hadn’t exactly said yes to the above. “No,” I said adamantly, but then I remembered scenes from the night before. I was in a vulnerable position, yet Parker made me feel safe. Not only because of his protective nature but because he never once tried to take advantage of the situation by making me feel like less of a person. If anything, he validated me. “Don’t take this to mean more than it should, but Parker gave me the gift of allowing me to feel comfortable in my vulnerability last night.”

“Question seven: How would you rate your experience so far? That’s an interesting question this week. It’s getting better,” was all I could think to say. Whether it stayed that way, I couldn’t predict. I was going to guess no, since Mama was about ready to get her hands on Parker. Now to go convince him to willingly submit to the torture.

“KNOCK, KNOCK,” LANIE SANG. “ARE you in there? Of course you are. It sounds like you’re about ready to leave on an epic adventure.”

Disgruntled, I turned down the music on my laptop and leaned my body just enough while sitting at my desk to stare at the door, the only barrier between me and my annoyingly gorgeous roommate. Maybe if I didn’t say anything, she would go away. We’d spent enough time together this weekend. Not to say I didn’t enjoy it—I did—and that was the problem. It had been a long time since I’d had the pleasure of watching over a beautiful woman while she slept. The way Lanie innocently sighed as she curled into herself, her golden hair splayed across a pillow, was nothing short of every man’s fantasy.

“Come on, Parker. I know you’re in there. I really need to talk to you.”

Acting on impulse, I jumped up, thinking that douchebag Greg had done something to her. I rushed to the door and threw it open before remembering I was only in a pair of athletic shorts. I’d lifted some weights earlier and hadn’t thought to put a shirt back on.

“Oh. Wow. Hi,” Lanie said nervously while perusing me. “You look good.” Her cheeks blushed. “I mean, you aren’t wearing a shirt. You probably already know that. Um ... am I interrupting anything?”

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